Penny carefully backed away from her phone, keeping her hands up as she did so in the event she needed to lunge forward to catch it. She took a breath when it stayed wedged upright on the edge of the paddock fence.
“Okay… I think that’s staying,” she addressed the phone. “So… hi. I guess…. I saw they launched this livestream thing, and since people kept asking about how Hodge is getting a bath… well, I can just show you.”
She blew hot air into her cupped, frozen hands. The towels were warmed and hung on the rail. The bucket of warm buttermilk was steaming at her feet. Outside the immaculate paddock, snow flurries blew across the dead, barren grass.
“It’s very cold today,” Penny said, dipping a large, porous sponge into the buttermilk, “so this is going to be a quick touch up sort of bath. Hodge doesn’t like being cold. If you look here–maybe you can’t see it from that angle…. He rolled in his stall and got some poop smushed on his butt. I’m mostly looking for spots like that to clean off.” She sponged the greasy, dried spot of greenish-brown poop, crinkling her nose. “What else should I say…? Oh, I’m using buttermilk. When I was little, I watched Charlotte’s Web, and the pig got a buttermilk bath. I thought that was weird, and also didn’t know buttermilk wasn’t milk and butter mixed together. But, I got my hands on some buttermilk and wanted to see if he really would be whiter after.”
Hodge was typically very tidy, so there were mercifully few spots for Penny (and for him) to clean. Her fingers were numb by the time she toweled him off; the buttermilk and towels both having rapidly grown cold in the late November air. She finished by covering him with a blanket, being sure not to use the one thick with a wool liner since he was refusing to go out of his stall unless dragged. The stables were heated. The lighter blanket was more of a comfort than anything with the unicorn being in a mood since winter settled in.
“I’ll go put him back, and I guess see if anyone watched this,” Penny said. “I think you can leave comments while it’s going, but I don’t know and obviously couldn’t see them with the phone way over there. So… yeah, I guess if I see any questions I’ll try answering them. One sec.”
She brought Hodge back to his stall and took time babying him and giving him a whole, heaping scoop of the sweet feed with extra molasses mixed in. She promised to be down later with more treats and scurried back to the paddock. She grabbed her phone and turned the camera so it faced the scenery instead of her face.
Just photoshop the poop off.
Wait why is Hodge wearing his horn?
He’s going to freeze!
Way too cold. You can see his breath!
Penny’s so pretty! Keep it up, girl!
OMG, I can’t even see anything.
What a disaster, lmao.
How’s she get his tail to look like that?
Can you photoshop live video?
Horse makeup?
She ended the stream without responding to any of the comments. They’d chalk it up to her not knowing how to do it.
“Well, it was kind of a disaster,” she mused to herself, tucking her phone away.
She abandoned her boots and coat in the foyer, not bothering to put the boots in the cupboard or the coat on the rack. She pulled at the tangled ends of her brown hair with frustration over how quickly her winter coat had knotted it, striding lackadaisily away from the mess she left.
“–reasonable, sir,” Mrs. Adams’s voice came from the small sitting room. “Penrose is one, and a difficult enough one at that; but to want to add others….”
“It isn’t adding, my dear Mrs. Adams,” Silas said. “I am merely saying that using my compound for kids like Penrose will be a boon overall for the Auctorita. Added bonus, I can mostly stay home under the guise of chauffeur. I’m not as young,” Mrs. Adams cleared her throat warningly, “as I was. Field work doesn’t suit me anymore. As tough as that is to admit at times.”
“Again, sir, I stress the enormous difficulty these children bring with them. Has that girl done more than glare at you these last weeks?”
“Penrose brings unique challenges with her,” Silas murmured. He clapped his hands–Penny jumping a mile–and his chair groaned as he shot from it. “Right. I’m writing up a proposal to send to the Regere.” He chuckled. “Or Evora. I doubt the Regere has ever read his own email. Probably fries computers getting within an inch of them.”
Penny leapt aside to avoid Silas running into her. She narrowed her eyes as his expression went from surprised to warmth, tossed her hair, and strode off.
“You had better have put your outdoor wear away properly this time,” Mrs. Adams called after her.
She allowed herself an extra long shower with extra fragrant soaps. She washed away the cold and stable smells, mulling over what Silas said. It wasn’t uncommon for people to have more than one foster kid; they collected a bigger stipend when they did, as was the reason the Lamberts tolerated her and Aaliyah in their house for so long. With the mansion and the expansive grounds, it had not dawned on Penny that Silas was out to make an easy dollar off her. The stipend was certainly never discussed or mentioned as it was with her other foster families.
The clock read just after two, but she saw no reason to dress for the rest of the day. She took her time rummaging through her pajama drawer before settling on a green buffalo checked set. She flopped onto her bed and grabbed her book on Yorkish kings from her nightstand. She only just opened it when a knock sounded on her door.
“It’s unlocked,” she called. Under her breath, she muttered, “They can’t give me a second to myself.”
She didn't bother to look up or further acknowledge Silas or Mrs. Adams. Silas would try lightening the mood by speaking anyway, and Mrs. Adams would scold her for failing to welcome her properly.
“My goodness…” came a familiar, feminine voice that had Penny yank her head up from her book.
Aisling was there, wearing an understated maroon and cream patterned sweater and long, navy skirt. Her dark hair was loose and uncovered. Her dark eyes were brimming with tears. She fought between a sob and smiling.
“Y-you look so much like Keena now,” she said. She wiped her eyes. “I always knew it, but….” She gave a strangled sob. “Oh, Penny! You've grown so much!”
“Aisling….”
She launched off her bed and threw her arms around Aisling. They were both crying, clinging to each other. They sank to the floor when their legs started to grow tired, still hugging. It took several minutes before they calmed down enough to catch their breath; to break apart and have their sobs turn to happy, relieved laughs.
They set themselves up on Penny’s large bed, sitting crossed-legged as if they were two girls at a sleepover whispering secrets and gossip. Aisling told Penny all about how St. Brigid’s was rebranded, removing the nuns for more state approved volunteers and social workers. She had been investigated due to her relationship with Penny, but that fizzled quickly once she explained they had a familial connection. That still did not entitle her to know where Penny had been sent or to contact her, not unless she renounced her vows and sought guardianship.
“I prayed on it several times,” Aisling said. “I wrote the same first paragraph to resign so many times I could recite it.” She smiled down at her hands, stopping herself from continuing to pick her short nails. “Silas tells me you’ve been giving him the cold shoulder. No, Penny, don’t look sheepish. You have good reasons to be angry. I’m afraid you're taking it out on Silas. You should be mad at me.”
“Why you,” Penny asked. “Because you didn’t pick me over God?” She scoffed. “I’m too old to be that conceited.”
“I should’ve told you more about my sister. About why you weren’t with her. About everything,” Aisling said. “I could have found ways to explain it to you that were appropriate for your age. Explaining to varying ages is part of my job description.”
“It doesn’t change that he convinced her to give me up,” Penny said stubbornly.
“She knew she had to give you up,” Aisling said. “Silas helped have you placed under the care of the Holy Cor rather than just state care.” She squeezed Penny’s hand. “He’s a friend. He truly is.” She locked eyes with her. “He told me about what happened since we were separated. I am so sorry, Penny. For all of it. For everything that doesn’t show up in reports too. And, I understand that would make trusting anyone scary, but you can trust Silas. I swear it on our Lady, on the Almighty Himself, that you can trust him.”
Penny cleared her throat several times, blinking rapidly to keep her tears off her cheeks. She was too tired from crying upon seeing Aisling and didn’t want to fall into another sobbing session. She nodded, taking long, calming breaths.
Aisling patted her on the back and stroked her hair, her own smile was watery but she too fought off the urge. She took a breath like Penny’s.
“I know this is asking you to narrow in on such a huge topic, but what do you want to know first? I’ll tell you everything I can.”
Asking why Keena gave her up was the obvious choice, but instead Penny asked, “Do you hate my mother?” She adjusted herself so that she was up against her mound of decorative pillows. “I know you aren’t supposed to hate anyone, but… you never liked talking about her. I just thought… maybe you didn’t like her.”
Aisling smiled ruefully. “I did hate my sister. Or, I thought I did. As I matured, and grew wiser in my faith, I learned I could love my sister and dislike many things about her at the same time.”
“Did… did she hate you too,” Penny asked.
“No; Keena was every bit the big sister,” Aisling said. “That was one of the things I hated. That was sheer ignorance on my part.” She chuckled. “As the baby, I couldn't understand her role as the eldest; I could only resent that I thought she was treating me like I was a child. Despite me being a mage too.” She heaved a sigh. “And of course, I was hypocritical and used her role as the eldest against her when our brother was killed. She couldn’t win with me, and that was my failing, not hers.”
Her heart blipped. Even when she was small, she knew the death of their brother was a big factor that drove the sisters apart. With Aisling’s refusal to speak about Conner’s death and Keena in general, Penny had assumed her mother was at fault.
“How did Conner die,” Penny asked. “You said you’d tell me when I was older.”
Aisling was silent for a long time. She stared at her picked nails, stopping and starting her picking a few times. Her dark eyes were unfocused as the words structured themselves in her mind.
“You’ll have to bear with me, Penny,” Aisling said at last. “Everything sort of bunches together around that point, and it’s difficult now to remember the exact order, or even if the order is important.” She blinked, eyes focusing. “Can you remember much of your Bible studies with Mother Mary Clare?” She laughed lightly at Penny’s quizzical look. “It’s relevant. You were starting on the Hebrew when you were sent away, right. Did you make it through Genesis?”
“Almost.”
“Almost is enough.” Aisling drew herself up with a deep breath. “Does ‘tehom’ ring any bells?”
“The deep. …But what of it,” Penny asked. She mulled it over as Aisling fell into another lapse of silence, clearly trying to figure out how to explain something. “The… phrasing of it is weird. Like it’s a living thing.”
“Exactly,” Aisling said, relieved. “She is. More than I understand.” She flopped onto the mound of pillows next to Penny. “My sister… Keena attracted trouble. Another thing I never understood and disliked her over.” She cleared her throat. “We of the Holy Cor understand the Deep to be a legitimate, physical and spiritual threat, not just a word in ancient text. Keena called her Tiamat.”
“And Tiamat killed Conner?”
Aisling shook her head. “Tiamat was waking, and with our family highly sensitive to magic, we knew something was happening.”
She explained how Malachy–Penny's grandfather– being a learned and accomplished mage had spent years studying when Tiamat was likely to wake, and had started taking steps to protect the family should the worst happen. One of these steps was a protection spell that backfired, not only killing him but drawing all manner of vicious beasts their way, forcing them to flee with only the clothes on their back and the money in their pockets.
“Keena took charge, and at the time I thought she was overstepping and running over our mother, but hindsight… Our mother was terribly in shock. We all were, and someone did have to take the reins. But…” Aisling noticed she was again picking her nails and hastily stopped. “I understand that we needed money and lodging, but my sister rushed into the first opportunity without really thinking it through. And Conner went right along with her.” She smiled sadly. “Connor fell into the middle child stereotype a bit. He latched onto being the only son, and I think once our father died, he felt he should step up more. He never could keep up with Keena… no matter how hard he wanted to.” Her eyes hardened. “And Keena was too oblivious to see how badly he tried.”
Aisling told her that in order to get money quickly, Keena found work through a self professed businessman who turned out to be a smuggler. Even after learning this, Keena and Connor kept working for him, typically doing some sort of guarding or lookout duty that only bordered on the illegal. Due to Keena’s magnetism, she was singled out as a favorite and given more work. And, due to Connor trying to pull his own weight, he asked for more, often dangerous work, until he crossed the line into illegal. Connor’s first big job was the one that killed him.
“Silas told me later,” Aisling went on, “that operations like that tease you with small, inconsequential cargo first. It’s just a bunch of counterfeit designer clothes, or cheaply made jewelry until you get in deep enough.” She shut her eyes. “It was people.” She exhaled. “Connor tried to call the police, and was shot. Worse, they left him there for the authorities to find. Tried to pin things on him. Keena….” She shook her head.
“She quit after that, right,” Penny asked anxiously.
“She had before this. Or, at least, had pulled back a great deal,” Aisling said. She snorted. “She was trying to hold down a retail job.”
“Really? Like… at Walmart or something?”
It did not add up with what little she had been given about her mother. Silas called her a phenom, said she was the type of person that could change the world. Aisling had reluctantly spoken of these criminals being drawn to her, to wanting her to take on a more prominent role.
Aisling grew tense. She crossed her arms to stop from ripping at her nails. She stared into the canopy.
“The leader of this group was a man called Roman. He was older than us, about twenty years older. He came off nice enough, even a bit charming, which is probably why Keena and Connor thought working for him was a good idea. …Maybe they went to him trying to fill the void our father left. I don’t know.”
“Did he kill Connor? Like, did he do it himself or order it?” Penny flushed at the unreadable–other than shocked–look Aisling gave her. “Guess it doesn’t matter which….”
“It did to your mother… and he did it himself.” She shut her eyes in dread. “Roman was your father.”
Cold shattered down over her, spreading from her head to her limbs.
Her father had been left off her birth certificate. No one spoke of him. Silas said he was not a good man. She felt stupid for not assuming he was connected to her uncle’s death–his murder. She felt stupid for not realizing the Fox family completely and utterly collapsed around the time she was born.
“It’s okay, Penny,” Aisling said soothingly, taking her hand.
“Did… did he want me? I know he wasn’t named as my father, but… did he even know about me?”
“He knew,” Aisling said darkly. She gripped Penny’s hand as if afraid she’d disappear. “Silas helped hide you. I was in the process of taking my vows, and as soon as I was allowed, Silas helped have me placed nearby to watch you. To protect you.”
“From my father?” Her heart skipped. “It wasn’t a custody thing… was it?” Her mouth was dry as Aisling shook her head. “He’s not still looking for me though, right?”
Aisling got off the bed at this. She went to the window, leaning against it with her arms tightly across her chest. Penny swung her legs over the side of the bed, but stayed seated, watching.
“There must’ve been another way…,” Aisling murmured. Her shoulders stiffened. “Roman killed Connor, and Keena just….”
They both startled at the rapping on the door. Penny shakily managed to say the door was unlocked, and Mrs. Adams pushed it open. She stood, leaning heavily on her cane, and inquired about Aisling’s overnight bag.
The young nun was quick to excuse herself.
Penny let Aisling’s words hover about in silence until the unfinished thought became the most nagging. She wandered off, half to find Aisling and half to sort out what she had learned. She found herself outside Silas’s study, hesitated, and knocked. She stuck her head in when his voice murmured out it was okay to enter.
“Ah, Penrose,” Silas said, mildly surprised. He set his pen aside. “I was going to send Mrs. Adams in an hour or so with something for you and Aisling. No need for you to come down to dinner and interrupt years of—.”
“What happened with my mother and… that man,” Penny interrupted. She tinted pink. “That Roman guy.”
Silas set his twinkling blue eyes on her. He frowned, giving a small nod. He gestured for Penny to sit in one of the chairs before his desk, which she accepted.
“Aisling told you Roman was your father,” Silas stated. “Sounds like she didn’t cover the full fallout.”
“It sounds like he wanted to kill me and murdered my uncle.”
He grimaced. “Well, she got that far. That saves the awkward bit about your own father wanting you gone.” He looked at Penny as if assessing exactly how old she was, and how he would phrase things accordingly. “Keena killed Roman.” He shook his head, sighing. “She was on edge enough having to give you up. That was already well over the line for her. But Connor? Yeah, that was lightyears beyond it.”
For the second time, Penny felt chilled. She wrapped her arms around herself to hold in all the warmth the comfortable office had. It was bad enough learning her father was a horrible man, and a murderer, but her mother was not clean either. What was worse, her mind snapped back to the night she and Aaliyah fled the Sizemore house. She snapped. She barely remembered what she’d done, just knew Mr. Sizemore was hospitalized as a result. She carried murderous blood in her veins, and it already was influencing her.
“She didn’t hide from it, if that’s what’s going on in your mind,” Silas said. “She served eighteen months, and was released. It was ruled justified self defense. There was overwhelming evidence that Roman was cruel and sadistic, and his little cronies were found armed—.”
“Cronies,” Penny choked. “It-it wasn’t just him she killed?”
“No; there were others…,” Silas said awkwardly. He knitted his fingers together and placed them on his desk like a guidance counselor. “Roman, plus eight others. As I said, it was ruled justified. They, without any doubt in anyone’s mind, would have killed your mother. Keena wouldn’t have spent more than a day in prison if the justice system moved quicker. Eighteen months was the fastest my people could manage, not a reflection on her whatsoever.”
Her father trafficked people, killed who knows how many, and her mother murdered nine people, her father among them. It was too much. It was getting harder to breathe. She was forgetting how to breathe.
“Penrose,” Silas said, his steady voice cutting through the static building in her mind. “Head between your knees.”
She fell across her knees, heaving as she stared at the oak floorboards. She heard Silas stand, felt his hand between her shoulderblades as the chair next to her creaked with his weight.
“Slow breaths,” he said. “Nice and deep. Ssh, steady, Penrose. It’s a lot to digest.”
“P-Penny.” She turned her head to catch sight of his face. “It’s Penny.”
The crows feet around his eyes deepened as he smiled down at her. “Okay. Penny.”
-----------------------
This was such a pain! I couldn't get the right balance of what Aisling would say and what I could cover in paragraphs, and then what needed said now verses what could be moved for later or even "off screen". but, yeah, that's what re-writes are for (Penny and Nellie both need the first half of their book/s condensed a lot as is. I suspect Ira's will too.) I read Charlotte's Web a few months ago and was reminded of the whole buttermilk bath thing, and I kind of want to try it out but have no white animals. I also looked it up, Instagram Live launched late November 2016 and that lined up nicely with Penny being at the compound and having a small time skip (being taken there either the end of August or start of September since school had just restarted when she went to the Sizemores, and then a month passing before Silas pops up).
I have no idea if I will ever get to explain Silas and his connection/wealth (Penny's book would get closest but it isn't about him, so maybe not). I said in a random comment on one of the chapters for Nellie's that Silas comes from dwarfs centuries and centuries ago. This didn't just translate to shorter, stocker stature, and a bit of a longer lifespan with graceful aging (I think he's in his 60s at this time but looks closer to late 40s) but it comes with old wealth that has been handed down generations. He's from a long line of misers and successful entrepenuers, and he's added multiple properties, a 9-5 job with high earnings, side gigs writing across various topics like self help, wealth management (adding teen advocasy and light hearted popcorn type fantasy novella later on). His family was somewhat prominent among the "dwarven" communities, so a network grew around that. That's why he has a string of housekeepers like Mrs. Adams and why they are all described with a similar short and stocky build. It was all these resources that led him to be a founding member of the Auctorita.