It'll likely take me a few sessions to get all this down, but mostly because of the two kids balacing and me being unable to do a lotof movement. So, like with The Rant Session I'll put in the dates. This is being started on October 16th around noon. Here we go!

It's funny how different two years and eleven miles (by highway, I looked it up) changes things. And how some things stayed the same; namely that once more it was a girl and a c-section. I hadn't had a visit with my doctor for weeks, and that is one of my two complaints with her (the other being sometimes the bruskness, which I like, is too dismissive). My stress tests were all going well; these were testing to see if Vee was strong enough and healthy enough to endure labor, and if my body could handle it too. Because, unlike with Minn, she was in the correct, best position to go through labor. I had expressed immediately that I wanted to avoid another c-section, so every visit that was never brought up as any kind of option for whatever reason crazy women have when they get them electively.

During one of the visits when my doctor was gone, which she was gone most of the last two months so my exact visit isn't there at the top of my head, the ultrasound tech looked slightly pale and asked if my baby always measured big. I said she did, and it wasn't elaborated. The NP told me in the review of that ultrasound that Vee was estimated to be 7.1 pounds. I just went 'whoa... my older kid was born at 7.7, that's crazy'. They said the doctor will want to talk more about that later, especially after I casually mentioned my scar from Minn hurting almost all the time. That was another medical-person-went-pale and asked me to describe the pain. Mostly dull, some sharp if I stood too fast (or sometime stood period, it wasn't that consistient) or rolled over at night.

I didn't see the doctor until my last pre-scheduled visit on the 7th, exactly a week from due date. She started by asking what my thoughts were when I heard how big Vee was. Same answer as above; my first was born roughly that size. And she goes 'right, so, I need to check you, and I don't want to say it, but this could be a c-section'. She checks, and jut goes 'nope, nothing, you cannot go beyond your due date, she's too big'. Apparently, I was nowhere near ready body wise to have her within the week.

Now, I was not told why the doctor was so insistant because I didn't argue back. With my own research, and the increasingly smaller fragments of biology knowledge I still remember, I already pieced together the big fear was hemmorage. So, while I was not at all thrilled to do a c-section again, it was better than the ever increasing risk of bleeding out before I even got to labor, or bleeding out during labor. ...I still asked for the last possible day to delay it as long as I could, and was scheduled for the 13th.

(October 17th ~8:45AM): I mentioned in the chat that Minn's godmother was coming to help out since my mom was in London. The original plan was to have my sister come with me because she's my emergency contact (our mom is notorious for never answering the phone, checking texts, or even calling back) and that'd give Minn bonding time with her godmother since they don't see each other often. But, with my surgery set for 7:30, I had to arrive at 5--before labor the hospital opened, so we had to go through the ER--it was very complicated figuring out school buses and stuff of that nature. And the topper, my sister ended up with a cold coming on. Minn came to the hospital with us. My sister came by once she set up breakfast for her kids (my BIL had some sort of work thing so couldn't do the kids that morning) and picked her up. Then it was all prep for the 7:30 surgery. ...Which went significantly over.

I put a preview of that in the chat. The bruises! Standard protocol is nothing to drink after midnight, and my mouthful of water at 4AM was not enough to hydrate me to avoid the 'you're so dehydrated, the IV doesn't want to go in'. This place though, instead of seeming confused by my dehydration like the other hospital, just was all 'every c-section, all of them, sorry about the pain'. A little more comforting that they knew the side effects of no water after midnight.

The bigger of the two bruises is on my right arm. That was from labs. They took two or three vials (probably because when they're asking if you have such and such they want to double check you didn't lie and cause some kind of reaction or contanimation). I was pretty hopeful when the needle went in. It hurt, but I was thinking 'yes that single mouthful of water helped'. And apparently, that would have been where the IV would have gone if I was hydrated. The lady kept squeezing blood out, like juicing me, to fill the vials. It got worse and worse pain wise and volumn wise until she just went 'yeah, no IV here, but hopefully that's enough blood for labs'. Thankfully (and I know this from genetic lab a million years ago) you don't need a heck of a lot, so that worked out. On the back of my right hand is a barely noticable greenish bruise from a failed IV attempt. I told her once that one fail to please avoid going into my wrist joint, so she went to get someone else to help. The failed attempts were starting to set us back.

(October 19th ~11:00AM) The second lady found "a juicy vein" in my left arm, which it the second large bruise from the pictures. It blew out almost immediately, and she just kept saying sorry over and over. Not just because it hurt, but because now we were further behind schedule. Luckily, the last attempt on my left hand worked or I would've been looking at a wrist joint. That thing did not go in lightly, and kept trying to pop out. I was supposed to get two IVs of fluids to rehydrate me before surgery, and now that we were well beyond 7:30, those needed pressure sleeves to force the fluid into my hand/body faster. Drinking from your hand is already a weird experience (that I don't really hate, especially being that dehydrated) but gulping is much weirder. And I'm naked at this point, so got cold very quick with the cold fluids going in that fast.

I was dragged off to the OR to get the spinal, and the OR is even colder, so I just started shaking. And me being how I am, I'm just going 'I hope they know this is from being cold'. Which my spinal guy did, because at one point he just went and got a hot blanket from under the heater and put it on my arms. That was enough to stop the shaking. That guy was an odd man that may've been a tad on the spectrum in the way that all the best weirdos are. We probably would've be friends as teens or something.

The spinal this time was not as horrifying as with Minn. It hurt much worse though. Because Vee was so heavy, my spine was very compressed. It was a slower process, with several stops due to the pressure getting to be too much, and a lot of small popping noises of going through my spinal discs. It was just after 8AM at this point. My doctor just goes 'throw her down, they're going to throw you down'. She was already through a few layers before they went to fetch Minn's godmother. She was brought in just in time for Vee to be pulled out at 8:08. And unlike Minn, she made a cry. Not the type in the movies, just the one, and a second when they went to go cut the cord (Minn's godmother got to do it, I think my mom declined with Minn because it freaked her out, lol). They had me see her a second, and then my doctor was like 'okay that's enough, let's stitch her up'. Which I actually appreciated because with Minn there was the awkwardness of my arm starting to numb from the spinal, and they wouldn't take her away until I told them too, but I wasn't sure if I was supposed to tell them too, and the whole time your guts are on tables waiting to go back in. I was shut up in maybe 15 minutes, also much less than the last time.

I forgot to mention that I was given a form before surgery to consent or deny that Hep shot. Easy enough, just sign deny and no one brought it up again or lied about what it was for or tried talking me into it. The form came with a packet on what it was, and the consent to had a big block of text that probably was about side effects. I didn't read it since I was declining. Don't need my newborn vaccinated against a sexual transmitted disease.

I tasked Minn's godmother to follow Vee around, but the ward was really open so there wasn't as much need to hover. Lots of glass walls for the nursery. She went there only for visits with her assigned doctor, for all her glucose tests and other blood lettings, and then for a bath. I went with her for the bath. I never saw how they did them on newborns because I was so done with the other hospital that I wouldn't let them near Minn more than I could help it at that point.

Vee was born with low glucose which was due to her being large. She had a drop after she was detached, so needed 4 or 5 tests to make sure she was stable. She showed improvement on test 2, improved to a stable level on 3, and 4 and 5 were the same as 3. One reason my mom suspects that the doctor didn't do everything in the room like with Minn is because this hospital is Catholic and the other was secular. Minn and Vee both had male doctors assigned to them. Vee's was 1000% better. (Bonus, he was from PA and grew up around a bunch of Poles, so not only knew how to say my last name with a slight accent, but knew both clans that went into making my last name and could pronounce them.) Vee's doctor is the person who finally gave me exactly what I've been asking since Minn was born: a number on how much a newborn could eat.

If you remember, I knew something was wrong with feeding Minn, and I was just constantly shown a button all the nurses wore and told 'her stomach is the size of a grape, just a few drops is fine'. And it turned out to be very not fine. Vee's doctor told me '30ml, maybe 35ml, but if she spits up that's too much'. And he told me what the lactation consultants at this place told me 'boob first, then do formual so you can gage how much you're making, you'll watch the formal start to not be touched much at all one you're producing more'. Formula was never on the table at the other place because I checked exclusively brestfeeding. I checked that this time too, but told them my concerns (last time my concerns were the same too since my sister and mom both had issues), so they kept formal in the mix if I started going 'nope, something isn't right'.

Right now, Vee is mostly formula and nearing 60ml already. I'm not doing boob first like suggested because I just cannot figure out how to get her latched they way the consultants showed me, and we both get frusterated. So, I pump and put it in a bottle mostly. I let her latch on when she wanting just comfort and not so much food. She's much less likely to hurt me being too hungry, and it sort of counts as pumping. The hope is to make enough to get her exclusively on boob via bottle, but I've already made peace with it being okay if it isn't that exclusive. ...20% formula is my limit, lol. (October 23 edit ~11:45) She's hitting 90ml sometimes and about half or more are mixed formula and milk. I have two 60ml in the fridge right now waiting for a 30ml shot of formula. So, yeah, better progress this time around.

But, I'm skipping ahead to some warm and fuzzies. Let's go back and talk about the gore!

(October 20th ~10:30 - we made it a week!) After I was put back together, I asked how long I wouldn't be able to move my legs. They told me 'you'll get feeling back in an hour, by three you should be okay to stand' or something to that effect. Which was shocking because it was 8 hours last time. They did have my legs wrapped in these weird compression things that pulsated. That kept my muscles going for me (and they didn't come in constantly to move my legs around for me like last time).

Having an entirely female staff was a weird highlight. I already did all this being cut open and totally helpless thing, naked for a few days on end, smelling awful from everything going on. And I did it with a handful of men being right there on hand up in my situation. So, it was kind of surprising to me when I realized I saw a total of 3 men the whole time, and none in my room except for the two visits from Vee's doctor (and he announced hmself and paused to make sure it was okay to enter). And those other two were more like one and a quarter. My spinal guy's shift ended right as they were stitching me up, and his relief was also a guy. I think I saw him less than five minutes. So, yeah, there was an extra layer of chill that I think came from the staff being all women that I didn't connect until after I was getting ready to leave. (And I struggle with female friendships so that's saying something.)

My first night was the same with the zero sleep. You're woken up too often by your staff and the baby's staff coming to check things out. That first day and night I was constantly offered oxy, which I denied each time. I was just going 'wow they're really pushing it' because the other place didn't give me any, they just prescribed it for when I left. I was going 'no I'm good with the two extra strength tylonal and one motrin, just like before'. But, by that first night I started to realize this was not like before at all.

(October 21 ~10:30) My legs had full function within the 3 hour window I was given, but I couldn't seem to move. A t this point, I didn't need to stand up except that I was supposed to be since I was still hooked up to everything (no bathroom trips) and Minn's godmother was on top of taking care of Vee. Moreso when part of the reason I couldn't move was conneced to my attempts to feed her.

The pain was excrutiating. Not the boobs, my guts. Biology hat on a sec: when you start brestfeeding your uterus contracts. After birth or a c-section, when everything is still stretched and a little angry, this feels like period cramps. The degree varies. These cramps started out like the worst period I've ever had in my life, and worse than the saline ultrasounds (the first check when you're doing IUI or In Vitro to make sure everything looks good) which had already passed the worst period cramps ever. It was debilitation, nausiatingly painful where I'd be completely tensed up, eyes shut tight and teeth clenched. So... not good for brestfeeding at all, lol.

By that night, everything was removed so I would need to stand and walk to the bathroom. And while I did, it was a shuffle and more, and more pain. And it was worse after I fed her, because then I felt sick from the pain like I needed to go to the bathroom just in case I threw up. Minn's godmother offered to call a nurse for a barf bag at one point so I wasn't trying to scramble, walk, stand, whatever, because there was no way I could.

My night nurse got me to take one step forward and one to the side as a first movement before all this, and I found out that I could side step to the right (or drag my foot half and inch) but could not at all go left. (October 22 ~9AM) At one point, while trying to feed Vee, I just said something about how this was so much worse than with Minn pain wise. Because, with her, it took 8 hours for feeling to come back, but I was left alone at night and was up doing all sorts of stuff. And I was constantly trying to feed her. The pain there was because there was zero milk and almost no colostrum, so she was essentuially drinking my blood. Minn's godmother ended up saying something about the pain difference to the night nurse, and she explained that because they were messing around with scar tissue, and because Vee was large, everything was just going to hurt much worse this time. I was stretched too much on a scar, so it would take harder and heavier contractions to try to put it all back together again. And it suddenly made sense why they kept looking at me like I was nuts for refusing the oxy.

I had at least four different people explain the oxy, all from a different area; lactation, nurse, doctor, the nurse specific for my vitals. I think even the nursery nurse at one point. Did a internet search. Asked Claude AI. Eventually, sometime during the following day, I took one. It was just enough that I could get up and hobble to the bathroom.

The oxy they give you every 4 hours, unless you request it. They only give it to you at request (or at least me because I freaked out so much about it). I think I took 3 or 4 while I was there, and even though everyone talked about 5mg not being enough to pass through to milk, I still had Vee eat formula only for a feed or two after I took it. Following day, the 15th, I was able to get around with none.

I now have two bottles, one from Minn and one from Vee, still in the Walgreens bags tucked up at the top of my cabinet for emergencies. (Like when you smash your finger in a door so the tip is crushed and you almost lose the whole thing... because that happened right after I explained to my dad why I didn't just toss them. He refused to take one, but I have them on hand for things like that.)

(October 23 ~noon) My memory is getting fuzzy with it now being over a week and nothing egregious happening like the last time. The tired is coming for me, lol. There's random things like Minn first meeting Vee I was sure to have my arms free so she could see me and just me, and then got introduced. ...The following day she didn't care to see me at all and went right for her sister. She's doing very well, but is way too overstimulated and gets little break downs wanted to both be the attention and to be affectionate to her sister at the same time. But, all that's normal. I keep telling her we're going to have a lot more fun in a few weeks when I can pick her up, and drive, and just be more normal.

Part of me thinks that's really the harder part, not so much as now she has a sister, but I can't do anything. She's having way too much TV time (my dad's version of hanging out and watching her) and that's making her act up too since it's just more stimulation on top of a stimulating experience. But, she does get to go out with her Memere alone to stores or hang out with her cousins at sushi. She got to go to baby gym Wednesday, and my mom said she'll bring her this coming Wednesday too for her last one. Then, we're on pause until January. Unless the sick is really bad. Then I might extend to Feb.

But, yep, I think that's about it. If I remember more random stuff worth mentioning, I'll just drop it in the chat.

Penny avoided Colton the next two weeks, which worked out since his family spent one of those weeks in Dollywood. It was enough of a cleanse–for a lack of a proper term–for Hodge to settle back down.

She stocked up on pictures, and groomed him slowly to soak in the full interaction. He was softer under her touch than before, as if he too had missed their time together.

“Hey, want some good news,” Penny murmured to the colt. “My caseworker said the Sizemores want to foster me. They're getting the last of it worked out, and I should be starting high school right around the corner from you.” She gave his neck a hearty pat. “Couple more weeks at most, and I'll be back to being able to sneak out here almost every evening. I'll just have to dodge Colton….”

Guilt squished around her insides. Colton texted her everyday with pictures of his trip, or just to say he missed her. She recognized it was nice, but it made her want to turn her phone off for weeks. It felt wrong to be cute back, or to simply say she missed hanging out.

She picked burs from Hodge's tail tuff. “Think I’ll walk to the Sizemores. I can set the stop watch on my phone to get a better idea how long it is between there and here. They’re pretty chill, so I don't want to give them any reason to get more strict with me.”

They were bound to have grown more strict having Aaliyah in the house the last two years. If she was going to break curfew, she would need to be precise.

She wiped Hodge down with fly repellent before tucking her grooming supplies away in their hollow. She bounded through the tall, dry grass like a deer, blowing Hodge a kiss as she exited the glade.

The cul de sac development was closer to the glade than Penny remembered. She chalked it up to how much she had grown, both in overall maturity and in speed. She was definitely a faster jogger than a couple of years ago. It was encouraging knowing she would soon be close enough to Hodge that sneaking out was completely doable. It would come down to mostly balancing out Mrs. Sizemore's random night shifts and making sure Colton was preoccupied elsewhere, and that was far less daunting than being moved an hour away.

She noticed both the Sizemores’ cars absent from the driveway. It saved her needing to suck up to them, to put on a show of her gratitude. She was about to turn around, to go to the meeting spot to be picked up by Paige, when Aaliyah burst from the house. Penny only just ducked behind the brick mailbox in time to avoid being seen. She was in too good a mood to let her foster sister ruin it.

Aaliyah rushed to the Lambert house, pounded on the door, and shifted uncomfortably while she waited. Emily opened the door seconds later.

“Can I stay over tonight,” Aaliyah begged.

“Sorry,” Emily said. “I’m going to a friend’s. We’re planning our road trip.”

“Right. Of course. Gotta get ready for college….”

“Mrs. Sizemore is working tonight? Oh… Aaliyah….” Emily hugged her. “You got to say something.”

“I can’t! I got nowhere else,” Aaliyah said. She backed up. “Send pics from your trip.”

“Maybe it’ll be better once Penny…?” Emily looked uneasy and pale even from Penny’s vantage. “I’m still going to help you get out of there. I promise!”

They moved to hug again, just as Penny’s phone rang. She was quick to hit the silence, but the two older girls were now looking around where they stood, half unsure they had really heard anything. Penny stayed still, pressed against the mailbox, until Emily invited Aaliyah in.

Penny ran from the cul de sac, opening her phone and calling Paige back.

‘Where are you? I’m waiting at Garrett’s.’

“Around the corner,” Penny said, her breathing rough. “I went to the Sizmores.”

‘There in a sec.’

She settled on the corner of the street to wait. Her heart was thumping, but it wasn’t so much from the short jog. Aaliyah had been distressed, and whatever was happening was something Emily not only knew about, but also agreed was bad. It was hard to forget that look on Emily’s face when she mentioned her name.

Mr. McBride and Brooke flashed through her mind. She shook it off as Paige pulled up, forced a smile, and climbed in.

“You okay,” Paige asked. “You look kinda freaked.”

“Yeah…,” Penny said. “Yeah, I guess so.”

“You don’t have to go on the camping trip if you’re feeling sick,” Paige said. “Or hell, just think of all the mosquitoes and skip it anyway.”

It completely slipped her mind that the girls’ home was doing their annual camping trip that night. She hadn’t arrived at the home in time for it last year, and with moving to the Sizemores’ soon, this would be her only chance to hang out in the mountains all night. She was looking forward to being away from the random developments and small cities, though she did wish Paige would reconsider and come along. She never grew close with the other girls.

Her mind wandered to Aaliyah during her short packing time. It was an overnight trip and didn’t require much planning. Her excitement for it was all that kept her from turning over every detail of the micro-conversation between Aaliyah and Emily, and attempting to figure out why it caused her such unease.

The old school bus, repainted white with curly, purple and green lettering, carried eleven of them out of their squashed city into the mountains. Penny found herself next to Beth-Ann for the drive. She was a year older, claimed to be descended from Native American royalty—minus Beth-Ann being a twiggy blonde, Penny was almost sure tribes didn’t work that way, but didn’t care enough to look it up or argue—and claimed to know everything about outdoor survival, or just everything in general. Despite all the irritations, she enjoyed Beth-Ann in moderation.

“You finally get to camp,” Beth-Ann said. “Just stick close. I know all the right spots.”

“Isn't it a campsite,” Penny asked.

“You’ve never been camping, right," Beth-Ann asked, ignoring Penny’s question. “No, right? Because you were in the suburbs all your life.”

“Were you not,” Penny asked. “I thought you'd been at the home for half your life?”

“At least you get one camping trip before going to your new placement,” Beth-Ann said, once more ignoring Penny. “This'll be so fun! And,” she lowered her head, looking around as if afraid of being overheard, “it's my last camping trip with everyone too. But, shh, I'm not supposed to know yet.”

“Adoption,” Penny whispered.

“Finally,” Beth-Ann said. “It’s this couple that fostered me a couple of years ago. They had job stuff happen, so I had to come back, but all that’s straight now.” She swelled. “They’ve kept in contact this whole time. Sometimes even went for outings and stuff.” She squeezed Penny’s hand. “It feels incredible to be wanted. You really should open yourself up to it.”

Penny slipped her hand away. “I won’t give up on my family.”

Beth-Ann rolled her eyes, sighed in a condescending, sympathetic way, and turned out to talk to one of the girls across the aisle. That left Penny to stew while staring out the window, watching the trees thicken.

The campsite was a stone’s throw from the park bathrooms. It was spacious with the orangey lamp from the restrooms filtering through the branches and washing out half the clearing. Five, large, well-kept but clearly used tents were pitched, and sleeping arrangements were assigned. Penny found herself assigned to a tent with Beth-Ann, being one of two tents with only two occupants.

“So lucky,” Beth-Ann squealed, throwing down her large, stuffed hiking bag. “I was sure we’d get one of the chaperons.”

Penny set down her backpack on the free sleeping bag. She propped her face on her fist; Beth-Ann rummaging around eagerly in her bag, extracting a headlamp, a vest full of pockets, and other survivalist gear that fell into a more nonsensical lens, especially for a short, contained trip.

“I went ‘squatching last year,” Beth-Ann said. “I was in so much trouble, but just for a minute. Told them I got lost looking for the bathroom.”

“Guess that explains them being right there,” Penny said. She paused searching through her bag, looking up. “Wait… ‘squatching? Like sasquatch? Like… bigfoot?” A smile spread across her face. “You believe in bigfoot?”

Beth-Ann’s hackles rose defensively. She tossed her hair, a sneer on her lips and threw out an air of superiority and nonchalance.

“This is Appalachia, Penny,” she said hauntingly; “there’s things out there that’d make your hair curl.”

“I believe in bigfoot too,” Penny said eagerly, ignoring Beth-Ann’s defensiveness. She laughed as the older girl deflated. “I always have. I was picked on for it when I was little.”

They went back and forth on lore and being teased. Penny probed to figure out how far Beth-Ann’s belief extended; on the fence for unicorns and giants, zero belief for dragons, fully on board for will o’ the wisps (she adamantly called them haunts). She knew nothing—as far as Penny could tell by way of very vague questions—of the Realm, keepers, the Holy Cor, the Order of Ferblanc, nor of the Auctorita, although Penny was also unfamiliar with the last minus the conversation with the mage and the knowledge that they harvested Hodge’s mother.

“This is great,” Beth-Ann exclaimed. “Our last camping trip and we can go ‘squatching together. I don’t have any gear for you, but just stick close and you'll be fine.”

It sounded more fun than ATVing, but Penny was hesitant to encourage it. She had come face-to-face with a bigfoot before, and was more confident in her ability to get away having done it once, but the circumstances had been different. The biggest being it was during the day with her first encounter, and she had been focused on keeping it away from Levi. Running into a bigfoot at night, with someone who over confidently thought they knew all there was about them, was more dangerous. 

She gave her a noncommittal grunt, and hastily left for the dinner bell.

The group of them told stories, attempted camp songs, and ate s'mores well into the night afterwards. They ended the group time by going around and recapping what good happened over the school year, what was disappointing, and their hopes for the coming academic year. Several of the girls cited failed placements as disappointments with the hopes for one soon. Penny stuck to keeping it related to academia and went with constantly changing schools but being glad to be back among friends she had known previously.

Beth-Ann made no mentions of traipsing off into the wood during any of this, whether offhanded or in whispers. Penny was jostled awake shortly after sinking into a restful sleep, her heart jumping in her chest at the red light directly in her eyes.

“Ready,” Beth-Ann whispered eagerly.

Penny forgot her annoyance at being woken, and her trepidation, and quickly threw a zip-up on over her pajamas.

The woods were darker than any Penny had wandered before, but her experience was limited to the forests that surrounded Hodge’s glade. That was not nearly as old, and was sandwiched between developments that had once been farmland.

The excitement waned soon as the damp chilliness of the woods soaked into Penny’s shoes. She didn't want to be the one to suggest heading back to camp; she couldn’t stomach the idea that Beth-Ann would think she was being a wuss—she definitely would boast about it at the home.

“Anything yet,” Penny asked. “Hair? Broken twigs?”

“No,” Beth-Ann sighed, clearly disappointed. “Just a lot of deer tracks. We can do a call further in. That'll do something.”

Penny crossed her arms tight to cut the cold seeping into her clothes. She took Beth-Ann's disappointment and resorting to yelling as a sign it would soon be over. She merely had to distract herself until then, which was easier thought than practiced with only Beth-Ann having a light.

She slowed her pace to create more distance before pulling her phone out of her pajama pocket. She tapped it and turned it screen down, knowing the milky glow would be less distracting than the flashlight, and less likely to draw Beth-Ann’s notice. Penny hated to think they would need to wander even longer in the damp woods over an accusation that her phone scared off a bigfoot.

Beth-Ann understated when she said there were a lot of deer tracks. There was more than just the thin trail with a set or two in a single file. The tracks wove in and out of each other, creating a webbing pattern. There must’ve been five at the least; an entire herd that was prowling.

The gap between she and Beth-Ann widened as she stopped. Her stomach twisted. The hairs on her neck and arm rose.

Deer did not prowl.

Her sweat ran cold when she realized Beth-Ann and her red light were no longer in sight. She switched from her phone screen to the flashlight app, turning slowly on the spot. Every crack, swish, or rustle had her jump from her skin. Her heart was going fast enough to have her breathing ragged.

“B-Beth-Ann,” Penny hissed. She attempted swallowing but her mouth was dry. “Beth-Ann!”

The library books she poured over when she first arrived at the Lamberts’ years ago came back in fragments. She tried sticking to local lore, but after her run in with the bigfoot and alienation from her friends, she lost a lot of motivation. There were dangerous creatures in the mountains, that was certain.

“Beth-Ann,” Penny yelled. “Beth-Ann! Where are you?”

She yelled out louder and louder, breaking branches and kicking over small, dead trees; anything to make as much noise as possible. She raced through what creatures she remembered: bigfoot, will o’ the wisps, not-deer…. She froze and shrieked Beth-Ann’s name as loud as she could, followed by calling out for help.

A branch snapped behind her.

Eyes glowed just beyond her flashlight. Slowly, steadily, a deer stalked into the beam, but there was a profound sense of wrongness about it. The eyes were forward in its skull, like those of a cougar, and its legs bent like a wolf's creeping into ambush position.

It took a moment for her scream to escape her throat; it had to build before exploding out. She ended it with a snarl, waving her arms and phone around. Her blood chilled when the not-deer barely hesitated in its hunt.

A second crack sounded behind her. She whirled around, spotting a second not-deer in the corner of her eye. She bolted between the two; leapt over a log, broke through scratchy branches, caught a glimpse of a red light, and tripped head over heels in her attempt to stop too quickly for her body to properly react.

She eased up, straightened, and swung her phone around towards the red light as she climbed up.

Several pairs of eyes caught the light, low and crouched. Blood was smeared over their snouts. It only barely registered what she saw them crouched over was Beth-Ann and not a random carcass as her phone tumbled from her hands, landing with the light down.

Penny’s knees gave. She could smell the blood in the dark, hear the fabric ripping and the squelch of the not-deer feasting. Beth-Ann’s red flashlight lit enough to catch movement, enough to catch eyes.

She screamed, teeth sinking into her shoulder from behind.

-----------------------------

I wanted so bad to use not-deer with Nellie and could not find a spot for them. They are one of the creepiest cryptids, and that's in part because there are so many cedible stories. The running theory is that either these people are running into rabid deer, mutated deer, or deer suffering some other type of nuerological issue similar to rabies. I'm kind of like 'could be a carnivorous sub-species or something that only look like deer as a type of camoflague'.

I dislike the name Beth-Ann and all variations of it a lot. I don't know why, but I do. So, when I knew Penny would have a friend(ish) person die, I immediately was like 'what name do I hate'. I almost had it be Paige, but it didn't fit what personality I was building for Paige to even want to be in nature.

There were upsides to moving to the girls’ home. That Christmas, Penny was given a new sweater. The plain, generically purple sweater–that was nearer to a sweatshirt–was the first article of new clothing she had ever had. She wore it as often as she was able.

The other was that the other girls were not nearly as mean as Aaliyah and the girls at her previous home, at least not overtly. The administrators were much more strict, so physical fights were squashed before they broke out, but they couldn't stop cold shouldering or backhanded remarks.

It was such a pleasant change that Penny barely noticed when she was on the receiving end.

To continue the pleasantness, she got along fairly well with her assigned buddy. Paige was older with dusty brown hair and slightly bucked teeth. Since she had a driver’s license and was a long-term resident in good standing with the administration, she acted as Penny’s chaperon during most outings. Paige volunteered often for the chance to escort Penny around; being a fan of her photos, she boasted about how she was the force behind the scenes.

The challenge was for Penny to distract Paige while she searched for appropriate pictures of fairies and other creatures. She could only risk seeing Hodge if her chaperon was thoroughly distracted by Garrett, which became increasingly easier over the months. There was a shift in her posts to show more of her face (along with Paige) out and about to fill the long stretches between pictures that she was truly interested in posting.

Spring was beginning to take hold as the week long break from school arrived. Penny’s middle school break lined up perfectly with her old school's while not lining up with Paige's high school. She managed to convince Paige she could be unattended for a day, giving her time to stock up on Hodge pictures and spend uninterrupted quality time with him.

The young unicorn was fading into a warm, ivory color. His rump and back were dappled with gold. His legs were still gray, but his feathers being a downy white led Penny to believe his legs too would change.

She hummed serenely as she untangled his wavy mane, sectioning it off to create little braids. It was now long enough to create a curtain down half his strong neck.

Her phone alarm jerked both of them from their calm stupor. She silenced it with annoyance, Hodge reflecting her mood with a series of snorts and stomps.

“I know. I’m sorry,” Penny said, stroking his nose. “Paige will send Garrett and Colton to search for me if I'm not back before her.” She laughed ruefully. “They’d sure be surprised knowing I was hanging out in their backyard all this time.” She nuzzled him as he nuzzled her cheek. “I’ll try to come back soon.”

She stashed her grooming supplies in a tree hollow just beyond the ivy veil. She blew Hodge a kiss as she stomped through the long grass, leaving him and the glade behind.

The typical meeting point was on the corner near Colton’s house. Penny had explained to Paige that them coming and going on the property would stress out Colton’s mom. Not true as far as she knew, but it made it easier for her to sneak to the glade without Colton noticing she was there.

She waved Paige down and quickly jumped into the front seat. She twisted around to stare behind them as Paige continued on to Colton’s.

“We’re not going back,” Penny asked.

“I wanted to see Garrett,” Paige said. “My break starts Monday, so I’m thinking we can hang out Saturday or Sunday.” She smirked. “Just us two. You and Colton will have to entertain yourselves.”

Penny slumped in her seat as they pulled up to the house. Paige had always just picked her up and headed back with the drive as long as it was. There was great danger of them all realizing that she had been coming over and not hanging out with them. It wouldn't be a leap for Colton at least to realize she'd been going right to the glade, and for that to turn into him and his brother staking the place out.

Paige beeped her horn as she cut the engine. She rushed from the car and snuggled up to Garrett as he appeared on the front step. They giggled and whispered inches from each other’s faces as they strolled off towards the ATV shed, Paige clinging to his arm.

“They sure are sickening,” Colton mused, jerking his head in their direction as he exited the house. He grinned. “Wondering if you’d ever make an appearance. Our break is almost over.”

“Yeah… I know,” Penny said, shaking her head. “It went too fast. We’d probably’ve been here every day if Paige had the same break.”

Colton stuffed his hands in his pockets, swaying on the spot. "Think we can hang out this weekend?”

“Oh, yeah, of course,” Penny said. “Paige’s planning on it. We can go ATVing with the guys. Give those two time alone.”

“Actually…,” Colton blushed, “I wanted just us to spend time together….” He sank onto the stoop, refusing to look up at her. “I… l-like you, Penny.”

“Oh.”

“I have. For a while.”

“...Oh.”

“So… I was thinking…,” he trailed off, gulping. “Want to be my girlfriend?”

Penny hadn’t thought about Colton as anything other than her friend, one that Brooke–her first, real friend–introduced her to. She did hang out with him most consistently out of all her friends, and she did like to hang out with him for the most part.

Paige and Garrett continued their simpering and giggling near the ATV shed. They swayed together as if they were dancing to music only they could hear. Penny fought to keep her nose from wrinkling at the odd, overly affectionate display.

“Penny?” Colton was watching her, paler and pleading.

“Um… sure,” Penny said, her stomach flopping. “I guess we can give it a try.” She threw her hands up, smiling nervously. “Yeah. Why not? I mean, we do have fun together. Why not just be a couple?”

“Really?” He jumped up, hopping in place. “So, should we hug, or….” He turned bright red. “S-should we hug,” he repeated, his voice higher.

She laughed, her cheeks tinting red. She eased into an awkward hug, mimicking his back patting. They jumped apart at the sound of the front door opening again.

“Ah,” Colton’s mother said, a small smile on her lips. “I thought you were trending this way….” She stepped through them like landmines. “Don’t mind me. Just running to get groceries. Carry on.”

They were both too embarrassed to hug again, and promptly went to separate Paige and Garrett. It was best to leave their newfound relationship to stew on a somewhat high note.

---

I liked the unicorn pics better.

Cute! But I miss the unicorn.

Traded Hodge for humans, lmao.

Penny frowned as she scrolled the comments on her newest picture. It was one of her and Colton making faces with a sparkle filter overlay. It wasn't her best. She was terrible at selfies, hated taking them, and greatly disliked the filters associated with them, but she had used her last Hodge photo and needed to put up something.

She had a better reaction from people when she posted her impromptu video about being moved almost a year ago. There had even been talks of donations, but since no one–she included–could figure out for what, that never materialized.

“Authenticity,” Penny murmured. “That’s got to be it.”

“What’s that, babe,” Colton asked, dropping into the booth next to her. He laughed at her scowl. “I couldn’t resist.” He set her soda from the fountain in front of her. “I gotta get your attention somehow when you’re glued to that phone.”

Levi dropped onto the other side of the booth with his girlfriend, each of them carrying a tray of fries. Penny had forgotten the girlfriend’s name shortly after they met a couple of weeks ago, and had since avoided needing to say it while waiting for someone else to say it. Unfortunately, she suspected Colton had also forgotten her name since he always referred to her as Levi’s girl, and Levi always used a pet name.

“I got the extra large in case you change your mind,” Levi said to Penny.

Penny found it hard to participate in the double date. The three of them went to the same school, and she was not too interested in reliving when she also attended. That would lead back to more awkward and painful topics like what happened with Brooke, and that was too personal to share with Levi’s girlfriend.

She contributed when she could while stealing glances at her photos. There must’ve been old ones she hadn’t put up yet that she could use.

“Babe,” Colton said, his tone not as playful.

She flipped her phone over in her lap. “Sorry.”

“Penny does a lot of Instagram,” Levi said in a loud whisper to his girlfriend.

“Oh, cool,” she said politely. “I’m on there too.” She tried to hide her smug smirk. “I just crossed one hundred followers.”

“Awesome! The first hundred is hard,” Penny said. 

“How many do you have?”

She narrowed her eyes as Colton roughly nudged her shin. “I’m nearing eleven million.”

Levi choked on his soda loud enough and dramatic enough that it had his girlfriend's reaction go from shock to concern in half a second. Colton went around the table to slap him on the back.

“E-eleven… million,” Levi choked out.

“I've been on for years,” Penny said dismissively. “It’s a time thing.”

“I've been on since the fourth grade,” the girlfriend said flatly.

Penny awkwardly sipped her soda.

The boys tried to shift gears by talking about some streamer they both watched, which did nothing except distract them from the tension between their girlfriends. Penny kept trying to look friendly, but the ache in her face indicated that she was doing poorly at hiding the strain of it.

“Penny, come with me to the bathroom,” the girlfriend said.

She had heard of this phenomenon of girls going to the bathroom together. She guessed she was now old enough to be initiated. She gave Colton a slight shrug and followed the girlfriend from the table.

Not needing the bathroom, she waited by the mirrors. She inspected her green eyes and checked her teeth.

The girlfriend washed her hands and applied lip gloss. “Eleven million. Wow.” She smacked her lips. “Do you put couple pics up? What gets more traction? Kissing or cutesy?”

“Me and Colton haven't…,” she trailed off, blushing furiously.

The girlfriend's reflection gave her a triumphant smirk. She fluffed her hair and headed out of the bathroom. Penny gave it a beat before following to allow her burning cheeks to cool.

She slipped in next to Colton and grabbed for her soda. She could feel Levi's girlfriend watching her with superior satisfaction as she toyed with her boyfriend's hair.

“Oh, yeah, know what I heard,” Levi said, batting her away. “I heard Aaliyah failed.”

“Garrett did say something,” Colton said. He grinned wickedly. “From all he's told me, her failing a grade is the least of the Sizemores’ issues with her.” He nudged Penny. “Could be the opening you need to move back.”

“How’s that going to work,” Penny wondered out loud. “Aaliyah is about to age out. How’s she going to do another year of school?”

“Dunno,” Colton said. “Maybe she won’t finish.”

“Who really cares,” Levi said. “She’s such a nasty…,” he looked at his girlfriend’s scowl, “person.”

A stab hit Penny right in the chest as she thought over Aaliyah. She disliked her, very much, but knowing she was aging out was rough. Not only did her mother never come for her, but Aaliyah had been an adoption candidate. She opened all paths to gain a family, and nothing came of it.

Colton did have a point; this could be her opening into moving closer to Hodge. The Sizemores had expressed some interest in her last year, and once Aaliyah aged out, they would no longer get a stipend. She would have to bring up the Sizemores the next time she met with her caseworker.

The double date ended with Levi’s girlfriend’s mother picking them up. The fast food place wasn’t a grueling walk from Colton’s, so they opted for a stroll rather than interrupt Paige and Garrett.

They didn't talk about anything specific, but Penny could sense an anxiousness coming off her friend. He fidgeted more and would not meet her eye.

They were in Colton’s driveway when he finally said, “So… what do girls do when they do that bathroom thing…?”

“You want to know if we talked about you guys," Penny smirked. “Only a little.”

“A little… good or bad?”

Penny shrugged. “It was more about pictures  and I think….” She didn't want to tell him that the girlfriend had been probing in one of those odd bullying moves girls seemed to do. “Well, she asked for some advice, but I didn't really have any. I've only put up two pictures of us, and none of them were kissing.”

Her cheeks grew hot. She had practically forgotten that the probing was that specific and personal. She froze on the front step, her mind racing for an excuse to leave rather than to wait for Paige. She stole a look at him and found his round face red too.

“So, um… I have thought about that…,” Colton said, failing to sound casual. “My mom… when I said you were my girlfriend, she was really strict about not putting any kind of pressure on you… so I haven't said anything about… kissing….”

“Then …you want to?”

“Well, of course! Levi and Gage says it's great. And Gage isn't pretending this time. I caught him with an actual girl by the lockers. And Garrett and Paige always look really happy, so….” He turned more scarlet. He cleared his throat. “D-do you want to?”

It hadn’t crossed her mind to kiss Colton, or anyone, until that moment in the bathroom. “Um… I guess?”

Colton lit up, the presence of his heavy blush making him look like he was glowing red. They planted their feet, squaring up to each other. It took a minute before they could meet each other’s eyes, and another before they moved from their frozen spots.

Penny squeezed her eyes shut, peeking to make sure she was still leaning towards Colton (him doing the exact same). His mouth bumped against hers. She held still, slowly opening her eyes to see if there was some kind of cue to what she was supposed to be doing. She pulled away when none presented. They smiled shyly at each other.

“Want to come in to wait,” Colton asked, a grin all over his face.

She shook her head. “I’m going to walk by the Sizemores’ place,” Penny said. “Put myself on their minds. Tell Paige to pick me up there?”

She immediately went to the glade, her heart thumping and a smile forming on her face. The kiss was weird, but not bad. It helped that it was Colton. They had been friends for a long time, and he had been just as awkward. She felt as if she crossed some previously unknown threshold; she was older now.

“Hodge,” she called softly. “Hodge, come here, handsome. We don’t have long.”

The unicorn appeared through the curtain. He calmly strode over, giving her a nicker and bobbing his head happily.

Penny jump-stomped through the long grass to reach him. She reached out to stroke his cheek, but he jerked back. She looked over her shoulder, saw nothing, and reached again.

Hodge flattened his ears and snorted. He backed up, tossing his head.

“What’s wrong?” She tried to pet him, shushing him soothingly, but it agitated him more. “Hodge?”

She recoiled, her heart dropping into her stomach. The book Mother Mary Clare had, the entry on unicorns, said they were calmed only by virgin maidens. They were hostile to non-virgin women, and outright aggressive to men.

"But… Hodge,” Penny pleaded, tears forming in her eyes, “it was a kiss. Not even open-mouthed or anything.” She reached for him. “Hodge, please….”

He let loose a high-pitched, angry bray and took off for the woods.

-----------------------------------

The guess with Colton's mom was right; she clearly saw her son was developing a crush and just noped them from being foster candidates. I've grown to like Colton's unnamed mom, lol. I would have to double check the timeline, but I think Penny is 12/13 now. She's more of a "late bloomer" in the dating and romance (also call she's being a normal pre-teen) compared to the others. The first part of this would be March/April, the second part would be late June/July.

Penny's animal friend being a unicorn was always going to present an interesting problem as she got older. Hodge rebuffing her over a very simple, three second kiss was one of the earliest scenes I had with the two of them.