It'll likely take me a few sessions to get all this down, but mostly because of the two kids balacing and me being unable to do a lotof movement. So, like with The Rant Session I'll put in the dates. This is being started on October 16th around noon. Here we go!
It's funny how different two years and eleven miles (by highway, I looked it up) changes things. And how some things stayed the same; namely that once more it was a girl and a c-section. I hadn't had a visit with my doctor for weeks, and that is one of my two complaints with her (the other being sometimes the bruskness, which I like, is too dismissive). My stress tests were all going well; these were testing to see if Vee was strong enough and healthy enough to endure labor, and if my body could handle it too. Because, unlike with Minn, she was in the correct, best position to go through labor. I had expressed immediately that I wanted to avoid another c-section, so every visit that was never brought up as any kind of option for whatever reason crazy women have when they get them electively.
During one of the visits when my doctor was gone, which she was gone most of the last two months so my exact visit isn't there at the top of my head, the ultrasound tech looked slightly pale and asked if my baby always measured big. I said she did, and it wasn't elaborated. The NP told me in the review of that ultrasound that Vee was estimated to be 7.1 pounds. I just went 'whoa... my older kid was born at 7.7, that's crazy'. They said the doctor will want to talk more about that later, especially after I casually mentioned my scar from Minn hurting almost all the time. That was another medical-person-went-pale and asked me to describe the pain. Mostly dull, some sharp if I stood too fast (or sometime stood period, it wasn't that consistient) or rolled over at night.
I didn't see the doctor until my last pre-scheduled visit on the 7th, exactly a week from due date. She started by asking what my thoughts were when I heard how big Vee was. Same answer as above; my first was born roughly that size. And she goes 'right, so, I need to check you, and I don't want to say it, but this could be a c-section'. She checks, and jut goes 'nope, nothing, you cannot go beyond your due date, she's too big'. Apparently, I was nowhere near ready body wise to have her within the week.
Now, I was not told why the doctor was so insistant because I didn't argue back. With my own research, and the increasingly smaller fragments of biology knowledge I still remember, I already pieced together the big fear was hemmorage. So, while I was not at all thrilled to do a c-section again, it was better than the ever increasing risk of bleeding out before I even got to labor, or bleeding out during labor. ...I still asked for the last possible day to delay it as long as I could, and was scheduled for the 13th.
(October 17th ~8:45AM): I mentioned in the chat that Minn's godmother was coming to help out since my mom was in London. The original plan was to have my sister come with me because she's my emergency contact (our mom is notorious for never answering the phone, checking texts, or even calling back) and that'd give Minn bonding time with her godmother since they don't see each other often. But, with my surgery set for 7:30, I had to arrive at 5--before labor the hospital opened, so we had to go through the ER--it was very complicated figuring out school buses and stuff of that nature. And the topper, my sister ended up with a cold coming on. Minn came to the hospital with us. My sister came by once she set up breakfast for her kids (my BIL had some sort of work thing so couldn't do the kids that morning) and picked her up. Then it was all prep for the 7:30 surgery. ...Which went significantly over.
I put a preview of that in the chat. The bruises! Standard protocol is nothing to drink after midnight, and my mouthful of water at 4AM was not enough to hydrate me to avoid the 'you're so dehydrated, the IV doesn't want to go in'. This place though, instead of seeming confused by my dehydration like the other hospital, just was all 'every c-section, all of them, sorry about the pain'. A little more comforting that they knew the side effects of no water after midnight.
The bigger of the two bruises is on my right arm. That was from labs. They took two or three vials (probably because when they're asking if you have such and such they want to double check you didn't lie and cause some kind of reaction or contanimation). I was pretty hopeful when the needle went in. It hurt, but I was thinking 'yes that single mouthful of water helped'. And apparently, that would have been where the IV would have gone if I was hydrated. The lady kept squeezing blood out, like juicing me, to fill the vials. It got worse and worse pain wise and volumn wise until she just went 'yeah, no IV here, but hopefully that's enough blood for labs'. Thankfully (and I know this from genetic lab a million years ago) you don't need a heck of a lot, so that worked out. On the back of my right hand is a barely noticable greenish bruise from a failed IV attempt. I told her once that one fail to please avoid going into my wrist joint, so she went to get someone else to help. The failed attempts were starting to set us back.
(October 19th ~11:00AM) The second lady found "a juicy vein" in my left arm, which it the second large bruise from the pictures. It blew out almost immediately, and she just kept saying sorry over and over. Not just because it hurt, but because now we were further behind schedule. Luckily, the last attempt on my left hand worked or I would've been looking at a wrist joint. That thing did not go in lightly, and kept trying to pop out. I was supposed to get two IVs of fluids to rehydrate me before surgery, and now that we were well beyond 7:30, those needed pressure sleeves to force the fluid into my hand/body faster. Drinking from your hand is already a weird experience (that I don't really hate, especially being that dehydrated) but gulping is much weirder. And I'm naked at this point, so got cold very quick with the cold fluids going in that fast.
I was dragged off to the OR to get the spinal, and the OR is even colder, so I just started shaking. And me being how I am, I'm just going 'I hope they know this is from being cold'. Which my spinal guy did, because at one point he just went and got a hot blanket from under the heater and put it on my arms. That was enough to stop the shaking. That guy was an odd man that may've been a tad on the spectrum in the way that all the best weirdos are. We probably would've be friends as teens or something.
The spinal this time was not as horrifying as with Minn. It hurt much worse though. Because Vee was so heavy, my spine was very compressed. It was a slower process, with several stops due to the pressure getting to be too much, and a lot of small popping noises of going through my spinal discs. It was just after 8AM at this point. My doctor just goes 'throw her down, they're going to throw you down'. She was already through a few layers before they went to fetch Minn's godmother. She was brought in just in time for Vee to be pulled out at 8:08. And unlike Minn, she made a cry. Not the type in the movies, just the one, and a second when they went to go cut the cord (Minn's godmother got to do it, I think my mom declined with Minn because it freaked her out, lol). They had me see her a second, and then my doctor was like 'okay that's enough, let's stitch her up'. Which I actually appreciated because with Minn there was the awkwardness of my arm starting to numb from the spinal, and they wouldn't take her away until I told them too, but I wasn't sure if I was supposed to tell them too, and the whole time your guts are on tables waiting to go back in. I was shut up in maybe 15 minutes, also much less than the last time.
I forgot to mention that I was given a form before surgery to consent or deny that Hep shot. Easy enough, just sign deny and no one brought it up again or lied about what it was for or tried talking me into it. The form came with a packet on what it was, and the consent to had a big block of text that probably was about side effects. I didn't read it since I was declining. Don't need my newborn vaccinated against a sexual transmitted disease.
I tasked Minn's godmother to follow Vee around, but the ward was really open so there wasn't as much need to hover. Lots of glass walls for the nursery. She went there only for visits with her assigned doctor, for all her glucose tests and other blood lettings, and then for a bath. I went with her for the bath. I never saw how they did them on newborns because I was so done with the other hospital that I wouldn't let them near Minn more than I could help it at that point.
Vee was born with low glucose which was due to her being large. She had a drop after she was detached, so needed 4 or 5 tests to make sure she was stable. She showed improvement on test 2, improved to a stable level on 3, and 4 and 5 were the same as 3. One reason my mom suspects that the doctor didn't do everything in the room like with Minn is because this hospital is Catholic and the other was secular. Minn and Vee both had male doctors assigned to them. Vee's was 1000% better. (Bonus, he was from PA and grew up around a bunch of Poles, so not only knew how to say my last name with a slight accent, but knew both clans that went into making my last name and could pronounce them.) Vee's doctor is the person who finally gave me exactly what I've been asking since Minn was born: a number on how much a newborn could eat.
If you remember, I knew something was wrong with feeding Minn, and I was just constantly shown a button all the nurses wore and told 'her stomach is the size of a grape, just a few drops is fine'. And it turned out to be very not fine. Vee's doctor told me '30ml, maybe 35ml, but if she spits up that's too much'. And he told me what the lactation consultants at this place told me 'boob first, then do formual so you can gage how much you're making, you'll watch the formal start to not be touched much at all one you're producing more'. Formula was never on the table at the other place because I checked exclusively brestfeeding. I checked that this time too, but told them my concerns (last time my concerns were the same too since my sister and mom both had issues), so they kept formal in the mix if I started going 'nope, something isn't right'.
Right now, Vee is mostly formula and nearing 60ml already. I'm not doing boob first like suggested because I just cannot figure out how to get her latched they way the consultants showed me, and we both get frusterated. So, I pump and put it in a bottle mostly. I let her latch on when she wanting just comfort and not so much food. She's much less likely to hurt me being too hungry, and it sort of counts as pumping. The hope is to make enough to get her exclusively on boob via bottle, but I've already made peace with it being okay if it isn't that exclusive. ...20% formula is my limit, lol. (October 23 edit ~11:45) She's hitting 90ml sometimes and about half or more are mixed formula and milk. I have two 60ml in the fridge right now waiting for a 30ml shot of formula. So, yeah, better progress this time around.
But, I'm skipping ahead to some warm and fuzzies. Let's go back and talk about the gore!
(October 20th ~10:30 - we made it a week!) After I was put back together, I asked how long I wouldn't be able to move my legs. They told me 'you'll get feeling back in an hour, by three you should be okay to stand' or something to that effect. Which was shocking because it was 8 hours last time. They did have my legs wrapped in these weird compression things that pulsated. That kept my muscles going for me (and they didn't come in constantly to move my legs around for me like last time).
Having an entirely female staff was a weird highlight. I already did all this being cut open and totally helpless thing, naked for a few days on end, smelling awful from everything going on. And I did it with a handful of men being right there on hand up in my situation. So, it was kind of surprising to me when I realized I saw a total of 3 men the whole time, and none in my room except for the two visits from Vee's doctor (and he announced hmself and paused to make sure it was okay to enter). And those other two were more like one and a quarter. My spinal guy's shift ended right as they were stitching me up, and his relief was also a guy. I think I saw him less than five minutes. So, yeah, there was an extra layer of chill that I think came from the staff being all women that I didn't connect until after I was getting ready to leave. (And I struggle with female friendships so that's saying something.)
My first night was the same with the zero sleep. You're woken up too often by your staff and the baby's staff coming to check things out. That first day and night I was constantly offered oxy, which I denied each time. I was just going 'wow they're really pushing it' because the other place didn't give me any, they just prescribed it for when I left. I was going 'no I'm good with the two extra strength tylonal and one motrin, just like before'. But, by that first night I started to realize this was not like before at all.
(October 21 ~10:30) My legs had full function within the 3 hour window I was given, but I couldn't seem to move. A t this point, I didn't need to stand up except that I was supposed to be since I was still hooked up to everything (no bathroom trips) and Minn's godmother was on top of taking care of Vee. Moreso when part of the reason I couldn't move was conneced to my attempts to feed her.
The pain was excrutiating. Not the boobs, my guts. Biology hat on a sec: when you start brestfeeding your uterus contracts. After birth or a c-section, when everything is still stretched and a little angry, this feels like period cramps. The degree varies. These cramps started out like the worst period I've ever had in my life, and worse than the saline ultrasounds (the first check when you're doing IUI or In Vitro to make sure everything looks good) which had already passed the worst period cramps ever. It was debilitation, nausiatingly painful where I'd be completely tensed up, eyes shut tight and teeth clenched. So... not good for brestfeeding at all, lol.
By that night, everything was removed so I would need to stand and walk to the bathroom. And while I did, it was a shuffle and more, and more pain. And it was worse after I fed her, because then I felt sick from the pain like I needed to go to the bathroom just in case I threw up. Minn's godmother offered to call a nurse for a barf bag at one point so I wasn't trying to scramble, walk, stand, whatever, because there was no way I could.
My night nurse got me to take one step forward and one to the side as a first movement before all this, and I found out that I could side step to the right (or drag my foot half and inch) but could not at all go left. (October 22 ~9AM) At one point, while trying to feed Vee, I just said something about how this was so much worse than with Minn pain wise. Because, with her, it took 8 hours for feeling to come back, but I was left alone at night and was up doing all sorts of stuff. And I was constantly trying to feed her. The pain there was because there was zero milk and almost no colostrum, so she was essentuially drinking my blood. Minn's godmother ended up saying something about the pain difference to the night nurse, and she explained that because they were messing around with scar tissue, and because Vee was large, everything was just going to hurt much worse this time. I was stretched too much on a scar, so it would take harder and heavier contractions to try to put it all back together again. And it suddenly made sense why they kept looking at me like I was nuts for refusing the oxy.
I had at least four different people explain the oxy, all from a different area; lactation, nurse, doctor, the nurse specific for my vitals. I think even the nursery nurse at one point. Did a internet search. Asked Claude AI. Eventually, sometime during the following day, I took one. It was just enough that I could get up and hobble to the bathroom.
The oxy they give you every 4 hours, unless you request it. They only give it to you at request (or at least me because I freaked out so much about it). I think I took 3 or 4 while I was there, and even though everyone talked about 5mg not being enough to pass through to milk, I still had Vee eat formula only for a feed or two after I took it. Following day, the 15th, I was able to get around with none.
I now have two bottles, one from Minn and one from Vee, still in the Walgreens bags tucked up at the top of my cabinet for emergencies. (Like when you smash your finger in a door so the tip is crushed and you almost lose the whole thing... because that happened right after I explained to my dad why I didn't just toss them. He refused to take one, but I have them on hand for things like that.)
(October 23 ~noon) My memory is getting fuzzy with it now being over a week and nothing egregious happening like the last time. The tired is coming for me, lol. There's random things like Minn first meeting Vee I was sure to have my arms free so she could see me and just me, and then got introduced. ...The following day she didn't care to see me at all and went right for her sister. She's doing very well, but is way too overstimulated and gets little break downs wanted to both be the attention and to be affectionate to her sister at the same time. But, all that's normal. I keep telling her we're going to have a lot more fun in a few weeks when I can pick her up, and drive, and just be more normal.
Part of me thinks that's really the harder part, not so much as now she has a sister, but I can't do anything. She's having way too much TV time (my dad's version of hanging out and watching her) and that's making her act up too since it's just more stimulation on top of a stimulating experience. But, she does get to go out with her Memere alone to stores or hang out with her cousins at sushi. She got to go to baby gym Wednesday, and my mom said she'll bring her this coming Wednesday too for her last one. Then, we're on pause until January. Unless the sick is really bad. Then I might extend to Feb.
But, yep, I think that's about it. If I remember more random stuff worth mentioning, I'll just drop it in the chat.