Dear Ashling,
Penny stared at the heading, knowing something wasn't right but not sure what. She always tripped up on the heading.
You haven’t written back yet.
It was redundant. Aisling would know she hadn’t written; she would know months have passed since they saw each other. She had written so many unanswered letters at this point that she didn’t know what to put into one. Her complaints about her foster family and foster siblings were exhausted. It no longer felt safe to write about it, and definitely didn’t feel safe to mention the gnomes in the neighbor’s garden or the giant bird she saw during the last storm with lightning on its wings.
The paper was snatched from before her, jerking her from her wandering thoughts. She leapt up and spun around the chair, grabbing fruitlessly at the page as a taller girl with beaded cornrows waved it overhead.
“Give it back, Aaliyah!”
“Ooo, Ashling! Who's that? Aw, she never writes back? Aww.”
“Give it back!”
Aaliyah crumpled the paper and threw it over Penny’s head. Penny dived for it.
“She doesn't write because she doesn't care, stupid. They're paid to pretend. All case workers are.”
Penny smoothed the paper the best she could, mostly to avoid Aaliyah's hard gaze. “She’s my aunt….”
There was a pause before Aaliyah cackled nastily. She put on a show, doubling over and wiping tears from her eyes.
“That’s worse! She's family and ignoring you!” She huffed for breath. “She doesn't want you, Penny. Stop trying. It's sad.”
Aisling couldn't take her without giving up her vows. She wasn’t sure how it would even work if she did give up her vows. Aisling had no money due to the vow of poverty. Her skills were limited to religious service, outside of magic which she hid. There was no telling what her support was like now that her mother had died. Friends had come to fetch her, but as far as Penny was aware, Aisling and Keena were still strained.
Keena gave her up for a reason, and even now had not tried to reconcile with her.
Penny wandered outside to avoid Aaliyah and change scenery. The trees were still green, but the breeze was decidedly chilly to signal fall coming. She crawled into a gap in the hedge that sat on the property line, flopping on her stomach to watch the neighbor’s garden.
“What are you doing?”
She shimmied out of the bushes, popping up before she was clear. The twigs ripped at her hair and left leaves strewn about. She blinked at the girl standing on the other side of the hedge.
This girl was skinny with lank bangs. She wore a baggy short sleeved shirt over a long sleeved one, and held her elbow as she shifted her weight from foot to foot. They seemed to be about the same age.
“I was hiding from Aaliyah,” Penny said, climbing fully to her feet and plucking leaves from her dark brown hair. “She’s my foster sister.”
“I know her. …She’s mean.” She nodded over her shoulder. “I’m a foster too. With them.”
“Really? Huh. That’s kind of weird the neighbors have a foster kid too.”
“This whole cul-de-sac has them. I think they all went into it together for extra support or something. Or….” She stared down at her toes. “I’m Brooke, by the way.”
“Penny.”
“I know,” Brooke said, kicking at the ground. “I’ve been watching you. Not in a creepy way! I… I wanted to make sure you weren’t like Aaliyah before talking to you.”
She studied this shy, semi-awkward girl in front of her. Her clothes were clearly worn hand-me-downs just like hers. She had this forlorn air to her than had Penny giving her a sympathetic smile. She had benefited from having Aisling in her corner, having shelter at St. Brigid’s. Brooke was probably bounced around far more than she was.
“Want to start eating lunch together at school,” Penny asked. “People avoid me. Maybe because I’m still too new. Or because Aaliyah.”
“Sure,” Brooke said. A smile fought onto her gaunt face. “Want to… hang out now?”
---
Gaining a friend her age helped Penny not ruminate over Aisling’s lack of communication. Having one person turned into having a small group; the kids that were seen as weird or outsiders, but all were just creative in some way.
Penny shuffled through the slush with Brooke at her side. They mentioned annoying things that teachers did at school that day. They shared no classes so the teacher stories were always something new while also being the same.
They were almost to their houses when Aaliyah knocked hard into Penny. She skidded and fell into the slush. Brooke shrunk away, offering no help. Penny went to snap at her, but she already stormed off into the house.
“She looked upset,” Brooke said meekly.
“Probably picked on someone she shouldn’t’ve,” Penny growled. She shook slush from her backpack. “I better go change before the Lamberts see. Catch you tomorrow.”
She managed to get upstairs without being spotted. She was just pulling on a pair of large, worn sweats when her door opened with no warning. She yanked her pants up as she stood, heart pounding, facing a middle-aged woman with long, fake nails and an elaborate perm.
“Why are you changing,” she asked, narrowing her eyes.
“Aali—I fell,” Penny said. “Slipped.”
“And now I have extra laundry to do.” Mrs. Lambert glowered. “Dinner in forty. Be downstairs to set the table in thirty.”
She flinched as the door slammed shut. She took a few breaths before sinking back onto her bed. She pulled out a sheet of paper and pen from her damp back pack.
Dear Aisling,
I learned how to spell your name. My friend Brooke told me. I told you about Brooke in my last letter, just in case you forgot.
She stared at the page. Her eyes stung.
You still haven't written back, so I don’t know if you even know I made a friend. I have a couple. It helps a little. My foster family is
She wiped her eyes with the heel of her palm. She crumpled the paper and left the room.
Dinner was one of the casseroles from a box that Mrs. Lambert resorted to every other night. The biological family—Mr. And Mrs. Lambert and their fifteen-year-old daughter, Emily—all rattled away at each other while Penny and Aaliyah sat in silence, picking at their food.
“Oh, Aaliyah, remind me to lend you that new sweater for the Christmas potluck,” Emily said. “It’ll be cute over that dress.”
“How thoughtful,” Mrs. Lambert said through gritted teeth.
“Is the Catholic church nearby,” Penny asked. She looked away from the others as they met her with various glares and confused looks. “I was thinking… maybe I’d go for Christmas Eve….”
“I’m not a taxi,” Mrs. Lambert said. “You go to our church when under our roof.”
Penny wanted to burst out about how they didn’t like their church; they constantly complained and gossiped about others in the congregation. They made a show of dragging all of them to service on Sunday, elbowing them to sing loudly. They made loud comments of their contributions and charity whenever someone from the congregation was within earshot. That was all it was: show.
She nodded subservantly, eyes fixed on her plate.
“We do the potluck at our church,” Emily said. “It’s our tradition.” She turned to Aaliyah. “It’s crazy to think this is your second one. The fifteenth marks a whole year since you came.”
Aaliyah’s jaw tightened. She gave a small nod and forced food into her mouth to avoid answering Emily’s perplexed stare.
“Oh, before I forget again; that Ms. Beaucourt called my office,” Mr. Lambert said, shooting Penny an accusatory glare.
“Of course she did,” Mrs. Lambert said, rolling her eyes. “She’s been pestering me to get this one–” pointing her fork at Penny “–a phone. I told her I’d look into it, and I’ve been dodging her calls since.”
“I thought they were supposed to have a phone,” Emily said. “Aaliyah has a phone. An iPhone, right?”
“Yep,” Aaliyah mumbled sulkily.
“Aaliyah had hers when she arrived,” Mrs. Lambert said. “And, she’s older than Penny. I just think smaller children with phones is ridiculous.”
“Isn’t it so they can call their case worker whenever they want,” Emily asked.
“The house phone works for that,” Mrs. Lambert said. “Those smartphones are rife with unsavory types trying to take advantage.” She stabbed her food. “Don’t you think it’s enough I worry about you with one?” She quickly added as Emily opened her mouth, “And Aaliyah? No. You girls are older. You have better understanding. And I still worry.”
“Don’t fluster your mother,” Mr. Lambert said. “I’ll talk to Ms. Beaucourt tomorrow. Tell her the fears more firmly.” He scoffed. “Besides, how are we supposed to afford that?”
“They are expensive…,” Emily trailed off.
The stipend the Lamberts received each month would have more than covered it. Penny was already wearing Goodwill clothes, or Emily’s hand-me-downs she was handed from the source herself before Mrs. Lambert could donate them away. All her school supplies had come from Dollar Tree, and Mrs. Lambert spent hardly anything on snacks. Penny wasn’t sure the exact amount a foster parent received each month, but with Aaliyah receiving the same treatment, she suspected there was a great deal of money left each month. She also suspected the new TV was paid for by that stipend.
She readied for bed after dinner, and found herself at her desk with the unfinished letter. She recrumpled it and dropped it in the wire wastebasket. She flopped onto her bed and stared up at the darkening ceiling.
Murmurs from Aaliyah’s room indicated Emily and she were talking. They spoke a bit almost every night, usually peppered with giggles, but this had an extra hushness to it. She heard something about pictures and a boy sharing them, but not enough to put the pieces together.
She wondered if Aisling had any pictures of her family, specifically of her mother. She never thought to ask before, and now with nearly six months of silence it seemed impossible she would get the chance to ask her.
She jumped out of bed, ripped a page from her spiral notebook, and sat at her desk.
Dear Aisling,
I want to see family pictures. I know that’s allowed, so you wouldn’t have thrown them out. I don’t think you would throw them out even if you really, really hated my mom. Does writing any of this matter? You haven’t written back. The Lamberts are mean. You and Mother Mary Clare said I had a home there. Doesn’t seem like it.
Penny, your niece
P.S. The garden next door has a gnome. I forgot what they eat so I just watch it sometimes.
Penny squinted at the letter in the weak light. She dropped it back on the desk and climbed back into bed. It felt like she only just shut her eyes when the daily hammering on her door jerked her upright.
“Breakfast,” Mrs. Lambert yelled through the door.
She was sure to dress before going down or else invoke an extra dose of wrath for not being prepared. Aaliyah was in a better mood, which meant she took more cereal than she could eat to deprive Penny of a full bowl.
School was wired with it being a Friday and a week before the winter holidays. No one had any amount of concentration, and the teachers were a mixed bag of aggravated and apathetic at the fractured attention. Penny stared at the clocks most lessons, with only diverting to staring out the widows in the few classes she sat next to one. Her green eyes tracked a small, blue-white ball of light bobbing near the woods bordering the school grounds.
She waited outside the school for Brooke. The throngs of kids thinned; Aaliyah stalked by with a toss of her beaded braids as a jeer of “ooh la la” followed from a group of boys. Penny leaned to stare down the long, main corridor to check for her friend.
Brooke was hovering by her locker near the end of the hall. She was chatting animatedly, smiling up at a young man she’d previously pointed out as her English teacher. Penny tightened her grips on her backpack straps as she watched his hand clap Brooke’s shoulder, run down her arm, and back up before he departed. She straightened and pretended not to have seen anything, smiling as Brooke joined her outside.
“Sorry,” Brooke said. “Mr. McBride wanted to talk about my poem.”
“Good news,” Penny asked.
“An A with a revision,” Brooke said proudly.
Penny hummed, her eyes now watching the treeline as they passed. There was no sign of the will o’ the wisp. She felt a twinge of disappointment.
“Something up?”
“Not really… Just thinking.” She turned her gaze to her worn, slush-dampened shoes. “This is totally random, but… do you believe in magic?”
“Of course not,” Brooke said with a slightly disgusted snort. She looked at Penny from under her limp bangs. “Wait, do you?” Penny shrugged. “Isn’t that kind of babyish?”
“I guess,” Penny murmured. “Maybe I want to believe…? Like, maybe it’d just be more interesting if will o’ the wisps, or gnomes, or unicorns lived in the woods too. You know?”
“The monsters would have to exist too, and a big no thanks to that,” Brooke said.
“Well, a dragon would be a lot cooler than bad foster parents,” Penny joked. Brooke’s mouth twitched but a smile failed to form. “Nevermind. I was just daydreaming while I was waiting.” She bounced towards her house, stopping and spinning back to Brooke. “One more week and then no school! Catch you tomorrow, Brooke!”
She rushed off with her fake enthusiasm, but didn’t fail to catch that Brooke hung around outside looking forlorn and lank. Penny watched her shuffle off through the wavy glass of the front door.
“You!” Penny jumped as Mrs. Lambert stormed towards her with a crumpled paper in her hand. “Mean! I’m mean! You ungrateful brat! Upstairs. No dinner. Now!”
She dodged around the furious woman, racing up the stairs. She stopped outside her door, spinning to address the stare she felt.
Aaliyah stood in her own doorway, shaking her head and looking at Penny as if she was a particularly stupid creature. Penny narrowed her eyes and slammed her door shut.
-------------------------------
For the other kids' names, I go check what was popular in that area or for that demographic in approximate birth year range. I'm not sure I have much else to add, lol. I've been really tired so my brain isn't functioning right. This one took longer than the others because I was trying to figure out the pacing. Penny's with the Lamberts for a bit, so I was torn on everything in this one and it's just really long, or split in into two or three chapters. Right now, it's the two or three.
"Forgotten" Gemini Initial Sketch, unknown
Protection, 2013/4?
The Panic in Me, 2014
Ian Sticky Note Art, 2015?
Sparrow Sticky Note Art, 2015?
Cinder Sketch, 2015
The Outlier Awakens, 2020
