Said it'd be a post, so here it goes. I put all the Rook stuff in the chat since her situation isn't part of the rant, it just is happening on the tail end of things. (This being written at 8/27 17:30, so any changes will just be tacked on at the end.)

I know I've mentioned it here at some point, but when I had to pick a pediatrician I went with one about an hour away. The doctors in this area aren't great, and one of the things I wanted was to do vaccines on my schedule. We know people who have had kids have awful allergic reactions to some vaccines, so doing things like splitting the ones grouped together was what I wanted to do just on the off-chance Minerva had some type of reaction. Figure out which she had the reaction to easier and all that. And, there are some vaccines kids--babies especially--should not get because they don't need them. These are for sexually transmitted (or needle transmitted) diseases. Now, if people want to have the conversation why they're injecting kids and babies to prevent a sexually transmitted disease, then let's have it. But, it's easier to just ignore the why and shoot a preventative into them. And easier to pretend these preventatives don't come with adverse side effect a great deal of the time.

This brings me to her birth. Or extraction. And I'll have to talk about what that was like a little. In a word: horrifying.

It wasn't the c-section that was horrifying either. You can mentally prepare for that to some degree. You know they'll cut into you, and that recovery is going to suck (even if you don't know how much), and that you'll be limited greatly (even if you don't get how great). You know you'll get a spinal, and that you won't be able to feel any of the cutting. And you know you won't feel your legs or be able to walk for a while. Even if you know 'a while' is 8 hours, it doesn't really prepare you for how completely horrifying the spinal is.

It doesn't really hurt when they do it. Kind of like a pinch and pressure on your spine. But, then you instantly get this burning, and you feel the burning flowing down your spine and that burning is the last thing you feel. You feel it travel and as it makes it's way down, you lose all feeling and sensation right down to your toes. And that's it, totally helpless. Can't sit up. Can't roll. Paralysis completely, except you can feel them pulling and tugging once they have their hands inside of you and once they're stitching the different muscle layers back together. Doesn't hurt, but you feel it. 

Nurses move your legs. Nurses throw you from table to bed. And they constantly check after surgery to make sure you aren't paralyzed for real by asking you to move things. But, what's really bad, is that you know somehow what position your legs are in, and you know that normally it isn't very comfortable--or that you've been in that position too long and need to change it up. And you can't. Your brain keeps sending the signal, and nothing happens. And you know why so you can talk yourself out of panic, but there still is a little bit of it just because your body doesn't work.

Oh, and the spinal travels upward a little after they pull the baby out. So, they drop her two inches from your nose, and you can't really see her without seriously crossing your eyes. And for me... I didn't have that magical, instant bonding experience. I was just going, 'okay, I can barely see her and my right arm is going numb, and I want to get out of here so I can actually meet her properly and start bonding'.

So, they take her away. My mom goes with her so that she isn't sent to the nursery. And then starts the 30+ minute process of stitched me up. Which you can feel but not really feel. The doctor is tugging the threads so hard your body gets jerked and tugged, but you don't feel pain or anything. You just know it would be nice if it was sped up. (Like them actually removing her which I mentioned in the chat--it's 8/29 now). I don't finally get to hold her until all this is done, so somewhere between 30-45 minutes after she's born.

And it was barely a minute. My mom handed her to me. I got to pretty much look at her before a nurse or someone comes in and takes her, puts her off to the side, and hands me two consent forms to sign. Vitamin K shot and Hep B shot. So, I'm trying to remember what Vitamin K was used for. I skimmed about it many months ago, and my only experience with it is that the feral vet used it on Pim Mattie when he was crashing. I'm going 'wait she looked okay to me though for the half a minute I saw her'. But then you get the Hep B. I was going 'that's the one I don't want... isn't that the one I don't want, I thought I had a month before they tried to give her that'. My mom, who knew all the stuff I looked into, flat out asks what the Hep B was. And the b*tch lied to her and said it was a SKIN TO SKIN CONTACT. So now I'm like... is this the other Hep? Because they told my mother Minerva could get it if someone held her! Which is a complete lie! And so, less than an hour old, and I messed up by saying they could give her both shots.

My sister looked it up that night and confirmed it was the sexually transmitted/needle transmitted Hep that I originally thought it was. That I wasn't given any time to process. And somewhere in my gut I knew. I was watching them stab her in the thighs just mentally going 'this is wrong'. I pretty much consented to them hurting her, maybe really impacting her negatively later down the road. I still can't think about it with it really messing me up, because part of me says maybe if I instantly bonded, I would've been more protective and stopped them.

But, we're not finished yet. Minerva was awake the entire day and well into the night she was born. Very unusual (and extremely likely because of the Vitamin K). I went about the motions of holding and feeding her. My mom had to stay until after 9 to change her diapers since I still couldn't move. It was getting better by the hour in that area, but it was still surreal and out of a sci-fi horror to have your body just not respond to your brain. I think I was starting with fairly big movements for the situation because my brain was screaming for 8 hours to move. I was up and walking without help (despite the nurses' efforts) right around he 8-hour mark.

Now I'm starting to get tired. The adrenaline is gone. I can walk again, and it's just me and my baby. And she's also finally starting to fall asleep. Naturally, I'm going 'good we can both get some rest because today was a lot'. But, not so. And I don't really blame the night nurse on this part. He--yep, it was a dude--kept coming in to wake us both up. He had to make sure she was eating every three hours. Had to make sure I wasn't bleeding out/change my pee bag/check me pee bucket once he got rid of the pee bag (childbirth is gross y'all). The only problem with all this was it meant I wasn't sleeping. First night: 15 minutes. Minerva just slept. It was a lot to get her to wake up, and to eat, and I ended up asking how normal all that was, but also remembered she being awake for over 9 hours straight was not normal. But, since I kept asking about the feeding, he did go find formula and see if she wanted it off his finger. Which she didn't, so he guessed she was eating enough off me. But it still didn't feel right.

[Quick break with some funny regarding that first night nurse. He was a gay man. So, when you get a c-section, because you're dead from roughly the bottom of your lungs down, nurses with come violently massage your stomach every two hours to help your body get rid of clots. Once you can move around, you pee into a bucket in the toilet so that you can see if you have clots bigger than a golf ball. Those are bad clots. Well, my day nurse--a girl about my age--explained it to me like period clots. If it just looks like a period, no worries. If it's too much or too big compared to that, call the nurse. Well, I had a clot not golf ball sized but not a tiny thing. Not anything unusual, so didn't call my night nurse. He went into the bathroom to check the pee bucket, quietly freaked, and called a more senior nurse in to look. She's like 'no that's normal'.

Second funny story with him, when I was really starting to complain about how I didn't think Minerva was eating enough, he goes 'let me show you something... can I touch your breast' but the way he said it was like 'noooo'. And he kind of air mimed and just told me want to do instead. Like, his hand got close, flinched, and he just instructed me. I was so tired at this point (and starting to worry about my kid) that I almost laughed.

He must really think the whole new baby thing is magical or something to want to work that ward when his interest in the female is so limited.]

Night nurse goes to day nurse, and now it's a new set of people coming in to introduce themselves, check vitals on me and the baby, and all that. I meet the pediatrician assigned to her for our stay. I bring up eating with all of them, because something is just not seeming right. And now all she does is sleep. She's up a few random minutes to eat. Doesn't really dirty diapers. I'm told in her first 24 hours she'd dirty one diaper and pee one, and the joke was she was ahead of schedule because she had around seven dirties/pees in her first few hours (why my mom stayed so long--this is also likely because of having a vitamin shot into her veins). The lactation consultants visit, I bring up the feeding with them. They keep showing me a circle pinned to their uniforms the size of a red, seedless grape telling me that was her stomach size so only a few drops of the super-rich colostrum would be what she needed. Nurses wore the same button, told me the same thing. During the day, blood is taken from Minerva to send to the state for various reasons they're unclear on. Just drops on a piece of paper, not a vial. And she screamed and cried and it still is unclear why they did that. Test and public safety or something. No specifics.

Second night nurse comes in. I bring up feeding. Same story with the grape pin. She takes blood from Minerva, and she doesn't cry or barely wake up. And I'm like 'hey she didn't cry or anything and you just sliced her heel and squeezed the heck out of it to bleed a vial full'. Nurse says she's good at her job, then asks me to take a quick survey and to shout out specific people. First off, I wasn't paying attention. Second, WTF? I mention the previous night nurse, the housekeeper, and I just offhandedly 'I guess you too because you cut her and bled her and she didn't wake up or cry'. She goes, 'cool your pain meds are scheduled for 6am, see you then'. I never saw her again. 

By 7am, I really, really needed those meds and I said something to a midwife (my group that was supposed to do all my care and delivery would send someone to check on me since they were not doing care because of the c-section) and she just told me to call for a nurse since she couldn't give me meds. I call. No nurse. 8am rolls around, shift change. I meet my day nurse about fifteen minutes later, get meds and water, and bring up the eating thing again. She gives the same speech, but also obviously knows I keep bringing this up, because I got a whole swat team of lactation consultants later. ...Who all gave me the same speech, showed me the button, and just kept squeezing my boob. And at this point--another sign something wasn't right--all the boob stuff was hurting. I was actually bleeding. My day nurse came to me with a 'so you have four days here but you could get out today if you want'. I heard this before from others, so of course, 'if my baby is all good and healthy, I'm taking her home'. My discharge orders are put in, doctor comes to check Minerva out, says she's all good, and we get ready to leave.

Oh, but I didn't forget about that Hep B or that night nurse. When she did her survey I brought up the shots, just coming from the OR and being blindside. So, when the new nurse leader for the day shift came to check on me because I was leaving, she wanted another survey. Brought up the shots, and then 'oh yeah... I never got my pain meds from that night nurse, sort of uncomfortable'. I hadn't met the day nurse at this point or the hearing tester, because they were both cool enough. One brought me a whole team of--unfortunately useless--consultants and the other let me hover and take pictures of the test she was preforming. Very curious when they found out Minnie's "origins". Thought it was neat and beautiful (I still think it's kind of weird and I'm the one that did it, lol).

We're almost to the end of the rant. But first, a nitpick annoyance that happened all the way back when I was getting out of surgery, because I forgot until I was in the shower. Night before, I'm told no food or drink after midnight. So, light dinner as late as possible, and no fluids by I think nine or ten, because, y'know sleep. When the nurse went to find a vein she's like 'wow you must be dehydrated, I'm having trouble'. Umm, yes? And I told her yeah, no food and drink because of surgery, and she's just 'oh yeah that's right'. So, first time she tried she popped my blood vessel (the huge bruise is finally not dark purple anymore, and I remembered all this because I saw it in the shower). This bruise is on my right forearm. Second time, left under-wrist. No luck, I watched the needle bend, so if she had pushed it like the first attempt, also would've bruised. My mom is going 'why not the crook of her arm, you can see those without tying off'. And they said they do that as the absolute last resort because it interferes with holding/feeding the baby. Okay, understandable. But where did they put the IV? In my right wrist joint. So... just in my dominate hand in a spot that is in constant motion, including feeding and holding the baby.

But now the end. Discharged Friday afternoon. Have an appointment with Minnie's actual pediatrician for Saturday late morning. The other option was Monday first thing in the morning, but since I live so far I went 'aw man, I wanted a rest from doctors and stuff, but no way let's do Saturday'. First thing when we check in, they ask if the hospital gave her those shots. I said yes, they ambushed me after surgery, and we are not doing the follow ups for the Hep B. They ask if I have concerns. Yes, I'm starting to get very paranoid about her eating because something isn't feeling right about the whole thing.

Her weight had dropped significantly from when they discharged me (her weight loss was in normal levels according to them), her blood sugar had tanked, and it was recommended to take her back to the hospital through the ER so she could be monitored and fed around the clock a few days. She backtracked a bit when I said where I delivered, recommending I take her to the hospital arund the corner instead if I really need to go to the ER. I basically excused myself at this point before I completely freaked out, and left my mom to get all French-Canuck to sus things out and go off on the hospital.

Well, after talking to my mom, they tried her on formula and she held it down. So, I was given some to take home and to just go thru the weekend. I guess my mom mentioned to her I had a c-section, and the doctor was like 'and they let her leave after two nights!?' so, yeah all that is crazy too. I had to look this up, because I wasn't told and absoluetly should have been, but when you do a c-section you get your milk in later. So, this kid of mine was kind of being starved and hurting me in the process because I had no milk and wasn't making near anywhere enough colostrum. I did finally get it in, but that was Monday night and Minnie was already on the formula to make sure she was eating/tolerating it. Plus, it was bloody. Hopefully I didn't accidently give her a taste for human blood. That'd be awkward.

I am going to try to combo feed, and ween her back to milk. It'll just have to be in a bottle. She makes the most disgusted faces when I try it natural. It's funny, mildly insulting, but I'm not going to complain too much since that freaking hurts.

I suppose enough time has gone by for me to start forgetting stuff (now it's 8/31). The take away from it all is that the hospital with the bad reputation that I wasn't supposed to deliever at, I delivered at, and it was a horrible experience. Mostly because of the ambushing with the shots she doesn't need and shouldn't've had. I have my own medical junk tied to the whole thing too with the cutting open and recovery of that. but... oh, I remembered another thing that hospital did.

To end for real, they gave me a prescription for oxycodine to take home, and offered it the whole time I was there. While they knew I was exclusively breatfeeding. I thought that was very odd, so didn't take it and just kept to a single motrin every 8-10 hours. I checked when I was discharged, and my suspcions about it were correct: you don't take that while breastfeeding because you can cause health issues on top of getting them addicted. No wonder they treat all newborns like crack babies and there is an addiction problem in this area.

“Please,” Dorian shut his eyes as the words escaped his lips as a whisper. “Please give me the wisdom to do what is right, and the strength to be able to do it. I’m... scared. I know I shouldn’t be, but you know my past failings. I want to do what is right. I want to do what is expected of me–but I want to do what you want me to do above all."

The prince lifted his face to the ceiling of the chamber, though his eyes remained closed. “And if something does happen to me–if I fail, please, help me to know who should take my place–”

“What are you doing?”

Dorian leapt on hearing a voice, and he quickly turned his good eye toward the sound.

Ace stood across the room, watching as the prince remained on his knees before the burning pedestal.

“Asking for help.” Dorian admitted softly, admittedly thankful to see a friend.

Ace’s brows lowered and he stepped closer, albeit carefully. “From who?”

“Alphega.”

He refocused his eyes on the fire. “Wait, is that the fire?”

“The fire is a symbol.” Dorian turned back to the flame. 

“I know that–I mean, this is it–this is the eternal fire all the stories talk about.” Ace took a step forward, only to hesitate at the edge of the crimson and gold carpet that surrounded the pedestal.

"You can come closer," Dorian said simply.

He blinked and cautiously stepped up to Dorian, passing through thin strands of moonlight that painted the floor between each column. His worn boots and simple tunic seemed out of place in such an area of reverence, but as he refocused his eyes to the pedestal, he was drawn, almost mesmerizingly, to the fire. There was nothing for it to consume, and yet it burned steadily above the smooth top of the pedestal.

“How is it doing that?” Ace mused, still lingering behind Dorian. “Burning without anything to burn?”

“It is the Eternal Fire of Alphega,” the Kalgaran’s eyes glimmered in the light. “It needs no earthly source.”

“Hm,” Ace hummed.

“How much do you know about Alphega’s sacrifice?” Dorian glanced at Ace out of the corner of his eyes.

He shrugged. “Whatever my mom told me. He died to reunite humanity with him, and he made the fire as a sign of eternal life.” Ace paused to bite his lip. “I never understood why she believed it all.”

“Why is that?”

The Daethen’s eyes narrowed on the flame. “With everything that happened to her, everything she went through, I would have given up on a god long ago.”

“Sometimes, the times you feel the farthest are the times you are the closest.”

“That doesn’t make any sense.” Ace raised an eyebrow.

“Well, right now,” Dorian rested his hands in his lap, “I feel helpless and lost. I feel inadequate to lead. I’m afraid of failing again, and afraid of doing something that would jeopardize all of the trust everyone has placed on me.” He let out a deep breath. “But, despite it all, I know Alphega is here with me. I know he can provide what I need. I know he can bring comfort.”

“So, what if you weren’t here with the fire?”

Despite Ace’s impudence in the matter, a smile was tugging on the prince’s lips. “No matter where we are, if we need help, all we need to do is ask. Being in the presence of the fire is more of an aid.”

Ace frowned and turned back to the fire. “I guess I just have a hard time wrapping my brain around it all. It’s not that it doesn’t make sense, it’s just… I don’t know.” Ace stepped up to Dorian and crossed his arms. "You lost your parents, your eye, and your country–and you still follow Alphega?"

“Of course I do,” Dorian answered plainly. “What I lost helped me gain what I have now: time to grow up and out of my anger and disappointment in myself; a second chance now that I’m older and wiser; and some of the best people I’ve ever met.” His smile widened as he met Ace’s eyes. “You may see my past and say ‘what bad luck,’ but I can look at it and think ‘what good luck that I was led to meet someone like you’.”

This finally broke Ace’s hardening exterior. He looked down at the ground with a stunned expression on his face.

“So,” Dorian tilted his head, “Where have you really ended up?”

Ace pressed his lips together. “I’m here.”

“Yeah.”

“After everything that’s happened… I didn’t die on the streets, I didn’t die from my adopted dad, I didn’t die from a curse… and I guess I met you and stuff too.”

“‘And stuff,’” Dorian managed a smirk as he repeated Ace’s words.

“Well, obviously I’m glad to know you, and Athena, and Mioko and Raeya… But James, my brother… he was the best human being I’ve ever known.”

“I’m hurt,” Dorian clenched his chest.

“If you knew James, you’d agree too,” Ace shot him a playful sneer. “I wish I knew where he was, if he’s even still alive…” He shook his head, the smile fading.

“You should pray about it.”

“And that will work?”

“It never hurts to ask for help.” Dorian let out a deep breath. "Ultimately, if Alphega is who I trust in, I will be led where I need to go, no matter what the world may do around me.”

The gambler nodded, his eyes straying back to the flame. He turned his friend’s words over and over in his head. “And yet,” he offered carefully, “despite all that, you just said you feel helpless and lost.”

“Yep.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m human. Despite knowing Alphega can be trusted completely, I still struggle. I still get scared.” Dorian’s eyes slid down to the carpet. “That’s not a reflection of Alphega, but my own weakness.”

Ace still had questions, but at this moment, he couldn’t fish any of them out. He didn’t need to. Not now.

He slowly bent down and got to his knees beside Dorian.

His friend glanced over at him, surprised at first. But as he studied Ace’s thoughtful expression, his tensed frame relaxed.

The two smiled and turned back to the flame.

----

I nearly forgot I had written this little segment!

In the rewrite, there's one main "religion" - the following of Alphega (bonus points if you see what I did there). It's a mirror of Christianity, only Alphega was burned at the stake, so instead of a cross as their symbol, it's a fire. Plus, the Eternal Fire is left behind (along with the powers of the Sentinel and the Phoenix) which is also used to determine the true King of Kalgara since only the King can't be burned (and it turns a really pretty blue when they touch it). Because of this, it's primarily seen as a Kalgaran thing, but others across the world, including Ace's adopted mom, also believe.

I thought Dorian mentioned the king thing here, but there's another segment from book 2 where he and Ace have the intial conversation and maybe that's where I remember reading it. I'm "finalizing" all these shorts in the wrong order. :D But this is one of many moments these 2 get to be awesome bros and I love it.

(This section contains scenes of abuse)

---

“Well, well, well; the rover has returned!”

Elise squeaked and ended up slamming the door she had previously been closing as carefully as possible.

The bare-chested man rose from the tattered sofa and walked slowly over to Elise. “I thought I’d get off early to surprise you, and I ended up being the one surprised. Just where have you been?”

At once, words were terribly difficult to find. “I was–I have–”

To make matters worse, Gavin was now looming over her, peering through furrowed brows like a vulture circling its prey. His beard already smelled of alcohol; he would not be so receptive to reason in this state.

“I–I have a job now–I was working,” she finally spoke, albeit shakily.

“You? Have a job?” Gavin let out a heavy laugh. “You liar! I bet you’re just off trying to meet other boys to make me jealous!!”

“No, Gavin, I swear–”

She was quickly shoved backward while the small handbag on her shoulder was tugged until it was pulled from her arm.

“You could never hold a job,” Gavin began to root through her bag as she clutched at her shoulder, “You’re just a worthless lowlife I’m graciously allowing to live under my roof.”

She watched his eyes grow wide as he pulled out a jingling money-bag. His eyes slowly drifted from the heavy bag of coins to her frail figure.

“All right, Elise; where’d you get this? If I’m harboring a thief, I will not hesitate to call–”

“I told you, I have a job.”

He grimaced. “Doing what??”

“Acting!”

“Acting? Like hell!”

“I’m an actress in a play called ’Higher Ground’ at the Sirius Theatre and I’m... I’m the lead actress…”

Her voice trailed off as the cogs in Gavin’s head began to turn. She wasn’t sure if he had heard of the upcoming play or if she had simply spouted off enough words for him to realize she wasn’t making it up.

He started to nod slowly after a moment, gripping the money bag tightly. “Well, now, that’s very respectable to want to help me out with your upkeep. But I’m not about to let you get any ideas that you can actually make a living being an actress.”

“...Why not?”

“Because I said so!!” He bellowed, spitting his words across her face. “And besides,” he calmed his tone, “I need you to be here at home taking care of things while I slave all day at the warehouse. Why, if you’re off... acting... who’s going to be here to cook and clean?”

Elise took a step back, her brows lowering. Gavin was doing exactly what James had told her he would do. He was trying to make it seem like she could never leave him; he was trying to limit her ability to work with excuses that previously had guilted her into staying home and obeying him. But a spark of courage was now burning ever since James’ words lit the fire.

“I’ve been cooking and cleaning with this job for three weeks now.” She spoke simply.

“Three weeks??” Gavin roared, hurling Elise’s handbag into the wall. He caught her by the arms, shoved her against the door, and thrust his face into hers. “You’ve been disobeying me for three weeks??” His breath reeked as he spat his words, “How much longer were you going to keep up your little charade before you were going to tell me, huh? How long do you think you could hold onto your little secret? Long enough to leave me and go right back onto the streets where you belong??”

The slow crescendo of words peaked on his final phrase that was yelled directly into her pointed ear as she tried to turn away. Tears were streaming down her cheeks as she hung lifelessly from her own arms. He was gasping them so tightly that his knuckles had turned white.

She was dropped and then slapped across the face. There was a pause before she was struck again.

His shadow fell over her as she lay crumpled on the dirty floor. She was angry, upset, sorrowful, and defeated all at once. But she dared not move.

Gavin’s body rose and fell as he took in and let out a deep breath. “You will not be going back to your job anymore. You will not be leaving this house anymore. Never... do you hear me?”

Her hazel eyes turned upward. “...Can I at least tell them I can’t go back?”

“Oh, sure–trying to be all noble for them, but not for me? I put this roof over your head, and I put those clothes on your body... and yet you’re stomping all over me like I don’t deserve any appreciation!”

“If I don’t tell them, they’ll come looking for me,” her voice trembled as she used the one trick she knew would get past his rage. “Do you want them showing up here to ask for me? Unless you’d like to tell them why I can’t work anymore…”

Gavin tensed and scowled at her words. “Fine. You can go in the morning, but if you’re not back by the time I leave for the warehouse, I’ll personally make sure no one will ever find your worthless pile of bones again.”

He picked up her handbag as he started back to the couch. He would be holding it hostage, as he had often done before, until he felt she was worthy enough to regain it. The money, however, she knew she would never see again.

Elise shakily got back to her feet, wincing from her stinging cheek. It felt puffy and wet, though she wasn’t sure if it was teardrops or blood.

“I’d suggest you get yourself ready in the bedroom,” Gavin’s voice came behind her. “You’ve got me all wound up; I think some relaxation is owed to me.”

Solemnly, she trudged to the bedroom with the humming of the electric light hanging from the ceiling as the only response.

--

As he walked up to the Sirius Theatre in the dawning light, James was surprised to find a thin figure wrapped in an oversized hooded cloak waiting in the shadow of the awning. 

She turned her head to look at him when she heard his footsteps. Her dusty blond hair was lumped out of one side of her hood, covering half of her face. 

“Elise?” He tilted his head as he slowed his pace. “You’re here awfully early.”

She attempted a smile. “I–um... was already awake, so I…”

James, however, pressed his lips into a frown and lifted his hand to her face. 

She held her breath as he gently combed his fingers behind her hair, pulling both the wavy locks and the hood away from her face until there was nothing left to hide her badly bruised cheek.

Pain filled the pit of his stomach. “Elise…”

“...I need to talk to you,” she muttered.

Without another word, James fished the keys from his pocket and turned to unlock the door. He held the door open and ushered her inside.

The two went straight for James’ office, which he also had to unlock before the two could enter, and Elise delicately sat on the chair across from his desk, wrapping herself in the cloak almost out of instinct. James, however, knelt down on the ground beside her.

“James, I can’t be in the play anymore.” She began mechanically.

“He found out and is forcing you out of it.”

She sighed and let her head droop. “It’s exactly as you said... he... he came up with excuse after excuse as to why I can’t... I tried to stand up to him and–”

James placed his hand gently on her arm. “Elise, is it okay if I help you?”

“Help me?” She repeated, “what do you mean?”

James shifted on his knees. “I can help you get away from-mm–him.”

Her eyes grew wide.

“I can give you m–m–somewhere to go; I have a small apartment attached to my house. It still needs a few things, but you can stay in my front room until it’s ready. I just…” his dark brown eyes locked firmly onto hers, "I can’t stand seeing you go through this.”

Her eyes were already welling with tears as he spoke. “You’d… you’d really… I could stay?”

“As long as you need to.”

She pressed her hand against her lips as tears fell down her cheeks. “Why?”

“Because I w-w–went through what you’re going through.”

A new expression was overtaking her face. “...You?”

James stood to get off his knees, idly turning toward the wall. "As I grew up, my father began to abuse us… me, my m–mother, and my brother. He’d–mm–yell at me for n-n–n… this,” he pointed to his mouth and paused to clear his throat. “He pushed my mother around, belittled Michael and called him names, and he’d hurt us if we did something he deemed wrong.”

Elise had sunk backward into the chair. It was hard for her to fathom that she was not the only one who had experienced what she had been living with. In fact, James’ situation sounded remarkably like her own.

“How did you… did you get away?”

James shook his head, his eyes focused elsewhere. “Michael–Ace–was the only one with the courage to leave. I wanted so badly to go with him… but I couldn’t leave my mother. I was too afraid of what he’d do to her.” He let out a sigh, holding his arms tight against his chest. “One night I finally made up my mind to leave... only to find he had m–murdered my mother in the next room.”

Elise’s hands were back at her mouth, unable to hide a gasp under her breath.

James’ eyes returned to her. “That’s why I want to help you. I will not have someone else... die before I am able to help them escape.”

Elise stood up from the chair. The cloak slipped from her shoulders and fell on the ground.

He ducked his head lower to not dwarf her so completely. “Is it okay if–if I help you?”

“Could you... please?”

The squeal of the front door opening jolted her backward, and she fell back into her chair. With her heart racing, she watched as James quickly filled the doorway.

He squinted in the light shining through the glass doors. “...Ed?” He was almost relieved.

“Yep; just checking in on things,” the helmetless patrolman strolled into the lobby. “Ace back yet?"

“Mm–not for a few weeks.”

The patrolman hummed. “Is he planning on staying this time?”

James lowered his stance as Ed paced away from him. “I assume so.”

“Some help he’s giving you,” he glanced at the door of Ace’s locked office. “You’re probably regretting signing him up as co-owner.”

James propped his elbows up in the door frame, noting the condescending tone of the patrolman’s voice. “No, not particularly.”

“What’s he even done since he’s been part of this place?” Ed turned and faced James.

“He helped build and refinish the stage, repaired the mm–m-marquee, and wrote the play we’re working on… so plenty.” James was having a hard time controlling the amount of snark in his voice.

“Well, all right.” Ed paused and tilted his head to peek past James and into his office.

Elise turned her head away, brushing her wavy locks across her face embarrassedly.

“Oh, I’m sorry;” Ed’s eyes narrowed, “was I interrupting something?”

James remained unmoved. “I’m having a short meeting with my actors.”

“Right,” the patrolman turned around. “Well, holler if you need anything.”

“Always.”

Ed stuck out a hand in a short wave as he walked out the front door.

James sighed heavily and released the doorframe. “Sorry about that.”

Elise was beginning to tremble again. “I need to go. I have to be back at the house before Gavin leaves for work.”

“All right. I’ll follow you.”

“No, you can’t!” Elise clutched his hand. “He’ll hurt us both!”

“I’ll follow far enough away to know where you live. And then I’ll meet you once he’s gone.”

“...And then...?”

He squeezed her hand. “I will walk you home.”

Home. That word was somewhere she’d never truly found. After her grandmother passed away, she’d never known anywhere that would be considered a home. But she could feel the spark of hope burning within her, and she was ready to trust James that he could give it to her.

Her lower lip trembling, she bolted from the chair and wrapped her arms around his chest.

James shut his eyes and curled one of his arms around her back to steady her as muffled cries were caught within his jacket.

--

The sun had nearly set when Elise peeked her head out of the door with wide eyes and a half-open mouth. She sunk with relief when James stood at her doorstep.

Gavin had either lied or had taken off work purely to keep an eye on Elise, as he never went to the warehouse that day. It was only in the late afternoon when two of his friends came around that he agreed to hit a nearby bar with them. Elise had been aching up until then, wondering if she would ever be able to see James again. But thankfully, not five minutes after she was left alone, she answered the door to find James’ all-day stake out had been successful.

“Got everything?” He asked, meeting her gaze.

She nodded, still gaping as she slowly stepped outside. The single canvas bag James had lent her was tossed over her shoulder. It was scarcely any bulkier than it had been empty.

Elise wavered in place, drifting into a trance-like state. Was she truly leaving this place? Would she really be leaving her life with Gavin behind? But what kind of life had it been, anyway? She had been forbidden to leave, forbidden to work, forbidden to have friends, forbidden from refusing to comply with every one of his wishes... He had given her a roof over her head and food to prepare, but he had also given her bruises, scars, and a cloud of unworthiness.

James held out his hand to coax her further.

Her eyes snapped onto his hand. James had given her job. He had given her food and coffee. But most importantly, he had given her confidence and respect, and now he was giving her a new place to live and a way out. And it was all because he understood where she was coming from, because he had lived in a cloud of unworthiness before. He was an example of someone who had broken free, even if the break had been painful.

She straightened her posture and walked towards him with firm steps.

He cradled her back with his arm and began to lead her away from the house.

They had scarcely stepped into the street when a voice barked behind them.

“What the hell is this??”

Elise froze and turned white. James’ brows lowered as he turned around.

A bearded man with a puffed-up chest was approaching the house from the other side of the street, with two other men following behind him carrying two kegs of beer. James didn’t have to ask Elise if this was the culprit of her wounds; it was apparent in his gait and tone alone.

“So, I was right–you little liar–I leave you for ten minutes to grab a few drinks for the evening and you go running off with another man!!”

James held back his arm to cover Elise and stood firmly in front of her as the three men continued sauntering towards them.

Gavin scowled. “So who are you supposed to be, big shot?”

“I’m her manager, and I’m taking her away from you.”

The two men behind him were starting to snicker from simply imagining their friend’s current expression.

“Oh, you think so?” Gavin puffed his chest even further as he stepped up to James and met him at eye level. “I’m the only manager this actress needs!”

“Yeah!” One of the men added, “And Gavin promised us she’d–hah–entertain us tonight!”

Elise grimaced and slipped further behind James, instinctively wrapping her arms around her chest.

“N-n–not anymore.”

Gavin’s eyes bugged. “’N-n-not anymore’?” A grin plastered across his face as he imitated James’ stammer. “Oh, for shame for me to think I’d have a chance against a m-m-man like y-y-you!”

James blinked, unmoved. If his past had done anything for him, it had calloused him from every attempt at poking fun at his speech impediment.

Gavin, however, was still running with the bait. He jabbed one of his buddies in the ribs and chortled, “She really thinks she’s running away with a m-m-manly m-m-m-man, doesn’t she!”

James turned back to Elise and started to lead her away while the three men shoved and joked with each other. They had almost reached the cross street before Gavin realized his audience was leaving.

“Hey!!” Gavin raced forward. “That tramp is mine!!”

His hands had stretched forward to grab her, but James only had to thrust his arm out and upward to deflect his attempt. It then returned to gently tuck Elise behind him.

Gavin staggered back, shocked as he tried to figure out how he had been disarmed so quickly.

“She will mm–never be yours if you call her that.” James spat.

“I can call her what I want–she’s mine!! If it weren’t for me, she’d be dead on the streets!!”

“So you’d rather her be dead in your house?” He yelled back heatedly, “She is not your punching bag!”

“Punching–oh that’s it–I’ll show you a punching bag!!”

Elise yelped as a fist was thrown at James’ face.

James backed out of the way as Gavin’s fist flew past him. He instead rammed his shoulder into Gavin’s chest and shoved him well out of range of Elise.

Gavin again staggered backward when James stopped moving, and with a roar, he tried another punch. He was again deflected and found himself on the ground moments later when James kicked one of his feet out from under him.

Gritting his teeth, he shot back up and began hopping from foot to foot like a boxer. “Try that again–I dare you!!”

James’ expression was as unchanged as his posture.

Gavin grew impatient and shouted as he threw another punch at James’ face, but once again, he was deflected and found himself rolling off James’ back and staggering into the street.

The man’s two friends could see he was getting nowhere fast, but one saw that Elise was no longer protected. With the other too busy egging Gavin on, the first decided to make a run for the young woman.

James’ attention snapped to Elise, giving just enough time for Gavin to roar and grab him from behind in a bear-hug.

“James!!” Elise squealed, flinging her bag at her attacker in an attempt to run away. Gavin’s friends, however, were faster and stronger than she was.

Struggling against Gavin’s hold, James gasped as he watched Elise get pulled to the ground. He tried wrenching his arms free and stomping backward on Gavin’s feet, but neither tactic worked against the much stronger man.

“Get her!! Take her down!!” Gavin’s voice rang in his ear.

James gnashed his teeth as panicked fury coursed through his veins. He shut his eyes and let out a loud cry.

At once, light burst from his back and flashed across the sky.

Gavin was thrown backward. 

His friends tumbled to their knees.

Elise uncurled from her ball, eyes wide.

Hands clenched at his sides, James stood alone as mighty wings of light as brilliant as the sun now spread from his back. Each wing reached taller than the rooftops and spread across the width of the street. All sound within the area had ceased. Any activity nearby halted. All eyes gazed upon the man with wings of light who stood before them.

James, still breathing hard, turned his head only slightly to each side to see what had happened.

Gavin, despite appearing startled, made a shaky attempt to rise.

James thrust out his hand, and a swatch of light glistened out of thin air inches before Gavin’s face.

He struck it with his forehead and fell backward in shock. “...What are you?” He hissed.

James, however, seemed just as surprised, but he soon redirected his gaze back to Elise. Slowly and softly, he stepped forward, knelt down beside her, and took her by the hand.

Elise stood, gaping at James’ angelic form. She also remained speechless as he gently placed his hand on her arm and tucked her behind his back within his wings.

His dark eyes narrowed on Gavin and his two friends. “Do not come looking for her,” he commanded. “I don’t want to see you anywhere near her. Do you understand?”

Eyes still on James’ wings, even Gavin’s friends couldn’t help but bob their heads in reverent fear. The three were too dumbfounded to speak or move further.

With that, the light shield faded, the wings folded neatly on his back, and James ushered Elise away.

The young woman took the smallest of glances backward to see the three men lying exactly where they had been left. She took one last look at the house she had been chained to the last four years, and then she returned her gaze to the man at her side.

“James?”

“Yes?” He glanced at her.

Her eyes strayed to his back. “...What did you do?”

James’ eyes idly returned to the street. “I’m–mm not sure; this has never happened before.”

She nodded as she, too, returned her attention to the road ahead. “Well… I’m glad it did.”

He pressed his lips together and nodded. He then slid his hand across her back and rested on her shoulder.

She instinctively leaned into his side. Her wide eyes closed, and her gaping mouth turned into a relieved smile.

--

Elise gazed at the small electric lantern that hung over the door of James’ house. In the fading evening light, it glowed like a warm beacon, leading them down the road and up to the brown-bricked abode. Her eyes wandered to a mail receptacle with the numbers 103 plastered above it, and then fell to a large clay pot filled only with dirt resting on the ground.

“I’ve been too busy to plant something this year,” James shrugged almost embarrassedly. By now, his wings had faded completely, and he looked as he always did; a simple theater manager with shaggy black hair and reading glasses tucked into his jacket pocket. “There’s one on that side too. You’re welcome to plant whatever you’d like in either of them.”

She glanced where he had gestured, and saw the glow of another lantern peeking just around the corner, facing the alley that ran between James’ and his neighbor’s homes. She then heard a click, and turned back to find James opening the front door for her. She bowed her head and stepped inside.

James switched on an electric lamp just off to the right of the door as she let the canvas bag down from her shoulder. The living room was small, yet cozy, and the decor reminded her of distant memories of her grandmother’s home. White carpet spread from wall to wall with a fireplace across from her, a small sitting area to her left, and a sofa to her right. When he turned on the second lamp in the sitting area, the room was filled with a warm glow.

“The sofa’s right behind you,” James nodded as he ducked back up from lighting the lamp. "I’m–m–I apologize the apartment isn’t quite ready yet, but you’re free to use this space however you need." James commented as he set down his keys onto the counter that served as a divider between the living room and kitchen area.

"Oh, no... this is..." she looked at the plush sofa, already donned with a pink crocheted blanket and a small pillow. “...This is more than I could ask for.”

James shifted on his feet, leaning his hand on the counter as he watched Elise study her corner of the room. When she turned back to him, he smiled lightly.

“I can give you a quick tour,” he offered.

Still somewhat dazedly, Elise stepped toward him as he reached for the kitchen light on the ceiling. The colored glass of the fixture made the walls shimmer, and they distracted her as he began his tour. 

“Here’s the kitchen; I’ve got s-some–mm food in the pantry here and some in the ice box, which you’re welcome to.” He stepped through the room, “This hallway leads to the bathroom, this way, and my bedroom, that way. The apartment runs the length of the other side of the house,” he waved back to the kitchen. “It’s got just one room with a small kitchen and bathroom of its own. I’ve just got to find a bed for it and make sure the stove works... then it will be all ready for you.”

She nodded, still gazing at the walls of the kitchen.

His lips pulled to a half-smile. “A–a lot to take in?”

She turned to look at him, unable to speak. It was a lot to take in, but only because it was the most perfect home she had ever seen. It was clean, kept, and welcoming. It had locks on the doors and windows with sheer curtains–not thick ones to block the light during the day. It had electricity–undoubtedly all of the time–and the most beautiful glass fixture shedding colored light onto the kitchen walls.

She had possibly started to totter on her legs, but by the next moment, she had more or less fallen into James’ arms.

“Hey, it’s all right,” he coaxed gently.

Elise hadn’t even realized she was crying when James’ soothing words reached her ears.

“...I can’t believe you’re doing this for me…” she finally found a few words.

“Of course," James said, holding her in a supportive embrace. “I’m just glad you’re safe.”

Safe. That was the word. 

She buried her face deeper into James’ chest.

James rested his chin against her head, careful not to squeeze too tightly. Still, the feeling of her in his arms filled him with an unfamiliar warmth. It was relief, perhaps; or the comfort of knowing she would not be harmed or taken advantage of as long as he could help it. He smiled and closed his eyes.

She was safe.

A gentle rapping on the front door interrupted their moment. 

James felt Elise grow stiff in his arms, but with a gentle squeeze on her shoulders, he released her and walked to the front door. He opened it slowly to find Vance Edwards on the other side.

“Phoenix,” he breathed.

“James,” Vance lowered his hood. “Got a moment?”

He nodded and glanced back inside, finding Elise wandering into the front room out of curiosity. “I‘ll be just outside,” he reassured her.

She nodded simply.

James stepped outside and cracked the door behind him. “Sorry, she’s had a rough day. And–mm–honestly… I have too.”

“Yeah, about that…” The Phoenix smiled knowingly. “I can explain.” 

His brows furrowed. “How do you know wh–”

At once, both the color and the expression drained from James’ face. Then, his lips pursed as his eyes widened and lost all focus. He attempted various syllables, but couldn’t get a single word to escape his lips. All the while he moved jerkily, holding up his hands, only to drop them in disbelief.

“What you’re thinking,” the Phoenix still grinned, “yes.”

James shook his head. “N–no–how–”

“You’re the next Sentinel, James.”

He continued shaking his head. “I c–can’t… I g–gr–” he clapped a hand to his mouth and slid it off his chin. “I grew up with those stories–the Phoenix and the Sentinel–there–there’s no way…”

“The last Sentinel passed away two days ago,” the Phoenix continued. “Thankfully, she was surrounded by all those who knew and loved her; I was just there because I needed to be.” He set his hands on his hips as his long purple-gray cloak slid over his shoulders. “I was wondering who the power would awaken in next.”

James was looking at the ground, still wavering in disbelief. “How can it be me?”

“From what I’ve heard, you’ve been protecting people your whole life.”

He finally regained James’ eyes. The Sentinel didn’t reply, but a somber expression was spreading across his face.

Vance gestured to the door of James’ house. “And, she must really mean a lot to you if your power awakened to protect her.”

James bit his lip, his eyes again falling away. He nodded in response.

Vance smiled and adjusted the round-framed glasses on his nose.

“How will I know wh… what to do?” The Sentinel asked softly.

“This is going to sound dumb, but if it’s anything like my power, you’ll just know. It’s like… an instinct. You’ll know where to go, who to see; it’s… kind of strange really.” Vance smirked. “But you’ll get used to it.”

James’ eyes lost their focus. “I… have so m–m-much to do…”

“You’ll find time to do it.”

James finally managed a mild sneer. “Easy for you to say, Phoenix.”

“Sorry,” Vance chuckled. “What I mean is: you’ll be fine. Trust me.” Vance let his hands drop, folding them into his cloak. “But for now, I know it’s daunting; so if you need anything, I’ll be around.”

James nodded, beginning to regain his sturdier posture. “Th–than–th… I appreciate you coming to check on me.”

“You should get back to your guest,” Vance shooed him.

James nodded again, though when he turned, he found Elise’s eyes between the cracked door and the doorframe.

“What’s a Sentinel?” Her voice squeaked through.

The Sentinel and the Phoenix shared a glance before turning back to her.

“I’ll let James explain,” Vance smiled.

Before anyone else could say a word, a wisp of dark purple smoke whisked the Phoenix out of sight.

-----

Well this ended up being long... I had written almost the all of James and Elise's interactions throughout book 5 a few years ago, and these were the most "finished" sections - even though I overhauled the end of this one to include James becoming the Sentinel. In the original draft, the fight against Gavin is very anticlimactic. James just continues to dodge and wear the guy out until he flips him on his back, knocks the wind out of him, and then just walks off lol. While that was cool in its own way, this is way more epic :D

This happens a bit before "Get Out" while Ace is still gone but Ed is starting to come around more.

James is still getting used to Ace's nickname since he still called him Michael when they were last together.

I actually really like the little interaction between James and Vance. They're both still pretty new friends since James is still pretty new to the "group" but they end up really starting to bond because of their shared powers. I'm digging it.