Firebrand Risk
The Rant Session
needed to switch to article mode
August 31, 2024

Said it'd be a post, so here it goes. I put all the Rook stuff in the chat since her situation isn't part of the rant, it just is happening on the tail end of things. (This being written at 8/27 17:30, so any changes will just be tacked on at the end.)

I know I've mentioned it here at some point, but when I had to pick a pediatrician I went with one about an hour away. The doctors in this area aren't great, and one of the things I wanted was to do vaccines on my schedule. We know people who have had kids have awful allergic reactions to some vaccines, so doing things like splitting the ones grouped together was what I wanted to do just on the off-chance Minerva had some type of reaction. Figure out which she had the reaction to easier and all that. And, there are some vaccines kids--babies especially--should not get because they don't need them. These are for sexually transmitted (or needle transmitted) diseases. Now, if people want to have the conversation why they're injecting kids and babies to prevent a sexually transmitted disease, then let's have it. But, it's easier to just ignore the why and shoot a preventative into them. And easier to pretend these preventatives don't come with adverse side effect a great deal of the time.

This brings me to her birth. Or extraction. And I'll have to talk about what that was like a little. In a word: horrifying.

It wasn't the c-section that was horrifying either. You can mentally prepare for that to some degree. You know they'll cut into you, and that recovery is going to suck (even if you don't know how much), and that you'll be limited greatly (even if you don't get how great). You know you'll get a spinal, and that you won't be able to feel any of the cutting. And you know you won't feel your legs or be able to walk for a while. Even if you know 'a while' is 8 hours, it doesn't really prepare you for how completely horrifying the spinal is.

It doesn't really hurt when they do it. Kind of like a pinch and pressure on your spine. But, then you instantly get this burning, and you feel the burning flowing down your spine and that burning is the last thing you feel. You feel it travel and as it makes it's way down, you lose all feeling and sensation right down to your toes. And that's it, totally helpless. Can't sit up. Can't roll. Paralysis completely, except you can feel them pulling and tugging once they have their hands inside of you and once they're stitching the different muscle layers back together. Doesn't hurt, but you feel it. 

Nurses move your legs. Nurses throw you from table to bed. And they constantly check after surgery to make sure you aren't paralyzed for real by asking you to move things. But, what's really bad, is that you know somehow what position your legs are in, and you know that normally it isn't very comfortable--or that you've been in that position too long and need to change it up. And you can't. Your brain keeps sending the signal, and nothing happens. And you know why so you can talk yourself out of panic, but there still is a little bit of it just because your body doesn't work.

Oh, and the spinal travels upward a little after they pull the baby out. So, they drop her two inches from your nose, and you can't really see her without seriously crossing your eyes. And for me... I didn't have that magical, instant bonding experience. I was just going, 'okay, I can barely see her and my right arm is going numb, and I want to get out of here so I can actually meet her properly and start bonding'.

So, they take her away. My mom goes with her so that she isn't sent to the nursery. And then starts the 30+ minute process of stitched me up. Which you can feel but not really feel. The doctor is tugging the threads so hard your body gets jerked and tugged, but you don't feel pain or anything. You just know it would be nice if it was sped up. (Like them actually removing her which I mentioned in the chat--it's 8/29 now). I don't finally get to hold her until all this is done, so somewhere between 30-45 minutes after she's born.

And it was barely a minute. My mom handed her to me. I got to pretty much look at her before a nurse or someone comes in and takes her, puts her off to the side, and hands me two consent forms to sign. Vitamin K shot and Hep B shot. So, I'm trying to remember what Vitamin K was used for. I skimmed about it many months ago, and my only experience with it is that the feral vet used it on Pim Mattie when he was crashing. I'm going 'wait she looked okay to me though for the half a minute I saw her'. But then you get the Hep B. I was going 'that's the one I don't want... isn't that the one I don't want, I thought I had a month before they tried to give her that'. My mom, who knew all the stuff I looked into, flat out asks what the Hep B was. And the b*tch lied to her and said it was a SKIN TO SKIN CONTACT. So now I'm like... is this the other Hep? Because they told my mother Minerva could get it if someone held her! Which is a complete lie! And so, less than an hour old, and I messed up by saying they could give her both shots.

My sister looked it up that night and confirmed it was the sexually transmitted/needle transmitted Hep that I originally thought it was. That I wasn't given any time to process. And somewhere in my gut I knew. I was watching them stab her in the thighs just mentally going 'this is wrong'. I pretty much consented to them hurting her, maybe really impacting her negatively later down the road. I still can't think about it with it really messing me up, because part of me says maybe if I instantly bonded, I would've been more protective and stopped them.

But, we're not finished yet. Minerva was awake the entire day and well into the night she was born. Very unusual (and extremely likely because of the Vitamin K). I went about the motions of holding and feeding her. My mom had to stay until after 9 to change her diapers since I still couldn't move. It was getting better by the hour in that area, but it was still surreal and out of a sci-fi horror to have your body just not respond to your brain. I think I was starting with fairly big movements for the situation because my brain was screaming for 8 hours to move. I was up and walking without help (despite the nurses' efforts) right around he 8-hour mark.

Now I'm starting to get tired. The adrenaline is gone. I can walk again, and it's just me and my baby. And she's also finally starting to fall asleep. Naturally, I'm going 'good we can both get some rest because today was a lot'. But, not so. And I don't really blame the night nurse on this part. He--yep, it was a dude--kept coming in to wake us both up. He had to make sure she was eating every three hours. Had to make sure I wasn't bleeding out/change my pee bag/check me pee bucket once he got rid of the pee bag (childbirth is gross y'all). The only problem with all this was it meant I wasn't sleeping. First night: 15 minutes. Minerva just slept. It was a lot to get her to wake up, and to eat, and I ended up asking how normal all that was, but also remembered she being awake for over 9 hours straight was not normal. But, since I kept asking about the feeding, he did go find formula and see if she wanted it off his finger. Which she didn't, so he guessed she was eating enough off me. But it still didn't feel right.

[Quick break with some funny regarding that first night nurse. He was a gay man. So, when you get a c-section, because you're dead from roughly the bottom of your lungs down, nurses with come violently massage your stomach every two hours to help your body get rid of clots. Once you can move around, you pee into a bucket in the toilet so that you can see if you have clots bigger than a golf ball. Those are bad clots. Well, my day nurse--a girl about my age--explained it to me like period clots. If it just looks like a period, no worries. If it's too much or too big compared to that, call the nurse. Well, I had a clot not golf ball sized but not a tiny thing. Not anything unusual, so didn't call my night nurse. He went into the bathroom to check the pee bucket, quietly freaked, and called a more senior nurse in to look. She's like 'no that's normal'.

Second funny story with him, when I was really starting to complain about how I didn't think Minerva was eating enough, he goes 'let me show you something... can I touch your breast' but the way he said it was like 'noooo'. And he kind of air mimed and just told me want to do instead. Like, his hand got close, flinched, and he just instructed me. I was so tired at this point (and starting to worry about my kid) that I almost laughed.

He must really think the whole new baby thing is magical or something to want to work that ward when his interest in the female is so limited.]

Night nurse goes to day nurse, and now it's a new set of people coming in to introduce themselves, check vitals on me and the baby, and all that. I meet the pediatrician assigned to her for our stay. I bring up eating with all of them, because something is just not seeming right. And now all she does is sleep. She's up a few random minutes to eat. Doesn't really dirty diapers. I'm told in her first 24 hours she'd dirty one diaper and pee one, and the joke was she was ahead of schedule because she had around seven dirties/pees in her first few hours (why my mom stayed so long--this is also likely because of having a vitamin shot into her veins). The lactation consultants visit, I bring up the feeding with them. They keep showing me a circle pinned to their uniforms the size of a red, seedless grape telling me that was her stomach size so only a few drops of the super-rich colostrum would be what she needed. Nurses wore the same button, told me the same thing. During the day, blood is taken from Minerva to send to the state for various reasons they're unclear on. Just drops on a piece of paper, not a vial. And she screamed and cried and it still is unclear why they did that. Test and public safety or something. No specifics.

Second night nurse comes in. I bring up feeding. Same story with the grape pin. She takes blood from Minerva, and she doesn't cry or barely wake up. And I'm like 'hey she didn't cry or anything and you just sliced her heel and squeezed the heck out of it to bleed a vial full'. Nurse says she's good at her job, then asks me to take a quick survey and to shout out specific people. First off, I wasn't paying attention. Second, WTF? I mention the previous night nurse, the housekeeper, and I just offhandedly 'I guess you too because you cut her and bled her and she didn't wake up or cry'. She goes, 'cool your pain meds are scheduled for 6am, see you then'. I never saw her again. 

By 7am, I really, really needed those meds and I said something to a midwife (my group that was supposed to do all my care and delivery would send someone to check on me since they were not doing care because of the c-section) and she just told me to call for a nurse since she couldn't give me meds. I call. No nurse. 8am rolls around, shift change. I meet my day nurse about fifteen minutes later, get meds and water, and bring up the eating thing again. She gives the same speech, but also obviously knows I keep bringing this up, because I got a whole swat team of lactation consultants later. ...Who all gave me the same speech, showed me the button, and just kept squeezing my boob. And at this point--another sign something wasn't right--all the boob stuff was hurting. I was actually bleeding. My day nurse came to me with a 'so you have four days here but you could get out today if you want'. I heard this before from others, so of course, 'if my baby is all good and healthy, I'm taking her home'. My discharge orders are put in, doctor comes to check Minerva out, says she's all good, and we get ready to leave.

Oh, but I didn't forget about that Hep B or that night nurse. When she did her survey I brought up the shots, just coming from the OR and being blindside. So, when the new nurse leader for the day shift came to check on me because I was leaving, she wanted another survey. Brought up the shots, and then 'oh yeah... I never got my pain meds from that night nurse, sort of uncomfortable'. I hadn't met the day nurse at this point or the hearing tester, because they were both cool enough. One brought me a whole team of--unfortunately useless--consultants and the other let me hover and take pictures of the test she was preforming. Very curious when they found out Minnie's "origins". Thought it was neat and beautiful (I still think it's kind of weird and I'm the one that did it, lol).

We're almost to the end of the rant. But first, a nitpick annoyance that happened all the way back when I was getting out of surgery, because I forgot until I was in the shower. Night before, I'm told no food or drink after midnight. So, light dinner as late as possible, and no fluids by I think nine or ten, because, y'know sleep. When the nurse went to find a vein she's like 'wow you must be dehydrated, I'm having trouble'. Umm, yes? And I told her yeah, no food and drink because of surgery, and she's just 'oh yeah that's right'. So, first time she tried she popped my blood vessel (the huge bruise is finally not dark purple anymore, and I remembered all this because I saw it in the shower). This bruise is on my right forearm. Second time, left under-wrist. No luck, I watched the needle bend, so if she had pushed it like the first attempt, also would've bruised. My mom is going 'why not the crook of her arm, you can see those without tying off'. And they said they do that as the absolute last resort because it interferes with holding/feeding the baby. Okay, understandable. But where did they put the IV? In my right wrist joint. So... just in my dominate hand in a spot that is in constant motion, including feeding and holding the baby.

But now the end. Discharged Friday afternoon. Have an appointment with Minnie's actual pediatrician for Saturday late morning. The other option was Monday first thing in the morning, but since I live so far I went 'aw man, I wanted a rest from doctors and stuff, but no way let's do Saturday'. First thing when we check in, they ask if the hospital gave her those shots. I said yes, they ambushed me after surgery, and we are not doing the follow ups for the Hep B. They ask if I have concerns. Yes, I'm starting to get very paranoid about her eating because something isn't feeling right about the whole thing.

Her weight had dropped significantly from when they discharged me (her weight loss was in normal levels according to them), her blood sugar had tanked, and it was recommended to take her back to the hospital through the ER so she could be monitored and fed around the clock a few days. She backtracked a bit when I said where I delivered, recommending I take her to the hospital arund the corner instead if I really need to go to the ER. I basically excused myself at this point before I completely freaked out, and left my mom to get all French-Canuck to sus things out and go off on the hospital.

Well, after talking to my mom, they tried her on formula and she held it down. So, I was given some to take home and to just go thru the weekend. I guess my mom mentioned to her I had a c-section, and the doctor was like 'and they let her leave after two nights!?' so, yeah all that is crazy too. I had to look this up, because I wasn't told and absoluetly should have been, but when you do a c-section you get your milk in later. So, this kid of mine was kind of being starved and hurting me in the process because I had no milk and wasn't making near anywhere enough colostrum. I did finally get it in, but that was Monday night and Minnie was already on the formula to make sure she was eating/tolerating it. Plus, it was bloody. Hopefully I didn't accidently give her a taste for human blood. That'd be awkward.

I am going to try to combo feed, and ween her back to milk. It'll just have to be in a bottle. She makes the most disgusted faces when I try it natural. It's funny, mildly insulting, but I'm not going to complain too much since that freaking hurts.

I suppose enough time has gone by for me to start forgetting stuff (now it's 8/31). The take away from it all is that the hospital with the bad reputation that I wasn't supposed to deliever at, I delivered at, and it was a horrible experience. Mostly because of the ambushing with the shots she doesn't need and shouldn't've had. I have my own medical junk tied to the whole thing too with the cutting open and recovery of that. but... oh, I remembered another thing that hospital did.

To end for real, they gave me a prescription for oxycodine to take home, and offered it the whole time I was there. While they knew I was exclusively breatfeeding. I thought that was very odd, so didn't take it and just kept to a single motrin every 8-10 hours. I checked when I was discharged, and my suspcions about it were correct: you don't take that while breastfeeding because you can cause health issues on top of getting them addicted. No wonder they treat all newborns like crack babies and there is an addiction problem in this area.

community logo
Join the Firebrand Risk Community
To read more articles like this, sign up and join my community today
1
What else you may like…
Videos
Podcasts
Posts
Articles
Some Story Talk: Mioko's Name and Other Tales

I've been thinking more about Mioko as I continue the rewrite, and heres a bit of the process of discovering if I need to (gasp) change his name!

--

In the video I forgot: Mioko's sister is now named Haru 😁

I also forgot to mention that some of the coolest bits in keeping his name the same is that one of the possible meanings of his name is "waterway" or "channel" which goes really well with his connection to the sea/the fae and his channeling of their power. So yeah!

00:12:51
What's Rou doing?

On today's episode of Whats Rou Doing?... She had already been rubbing her face in/around/on my cowboy boots for like 2 minutes prior to me finally pulling out the camera (I assumed when I pulledit out she'd stop). It was silly. Then extreme closeup. Aww.

00:00:30
February 09, 2026
Roulette vs Edamame

I gave Rou an edamame bean. She proceeded to add it to the undisclosed amount of crumbs and food under the oven......

00:01:07
January 23, 2025
Some Story Talk: Mioko

HEY LOOK I finally recorded something again. It's audio only since I was driving... ha

But basically, I'd been tossing around new thoughts for Mioko's backstory (how he becomes bound to the crystal) and in the time it took for me to get to record this, I made up my mind on which route I wanted to take. It's kinda rambly, and there are car noises, but it's not bad! I may have to do more like this.

Some Story Talk: Mioko
September 23, 2021
Some Story Talk ep. 16

I talk around this in ep. 15 and mention it in the second intermission story spitballs. Time for research; here comes the marriage pool episode.

Some Story Talk ep. 16
August 11, 2021
Some Story Talk ep. 11

Time for a research episode talking about one of may favorite theories (that I have unwittingly been applying everywhere, and you just might be too): Bak's Sand Pile!

Some Story Talk ep. 11
August 12, 2026
Clothes of Sand

Who has dressed you in strange clothes of sand?
Who has taken you far from my land?
Who has said that my sayings were wrong?
And who will say that I stayed much too long?

Clothes of sand have covered your face
Given you meaning, taken my place
So make your way on down to sea
Something has taken you so far from me...

Nick Drake, Clothes of Sand

The haunting mood and lyrics of this song begged me to draw Sapphyre for it years ago. It fit her story of being taken away as a human and returned as a mermaid (aka... clothes of sand!). My first attempt in pencil was intricate and detailed, but I was never quite as happy with the more overhead/head on angle.

When I rediscovered the original drawing while scanning in some older pieces, and I decided now was the time to try drawing it again. I drew it digitally and tried a different angle, and at last, I have a piece I am proud of!

post photo preview
HF: Ember

They added clydesdales to Hero Forge, so I upgraded Ember! And of course, you can't have Ember without Gemini 💙

Aslan

“Courage friends,” came Prince Rillian’s voice, “whether we live or die, Aslan will be our good lord.”

  • C.S. Lewis, The Silver Chair

--

I an continuing through The Chronicles of Narnia, and they are such interesting books. C.S. Lewis is such a clever writer, creating books that can be understood as children and continue to grow in meaning for adults. And if you're a Christian, the symbolism and parallels with Christianity are very powerful.

So, of course I wanted to draw Aslan, and I wanted to make sure I got his splendor in all the waves of his mane. Wisps of magic and power flow, and the light itself is created in his step.

The amount of layers and layer blend modes I used in this one is insane... but it came out exactly like I had hoped :)

--

"Are-are you there too, Sir?" said Edmund.

"I am," said Aslan. "But there I have another name. You must learn to know me by that name. This was the very reason why you were brought to Narnia, that by knowing me here for a ...

post photo preview
August 31, 2026
DO.Penny.8

Penny woke the following morning in part to her aching stomach and in part to some type of commotion outside. The reason for her stomach was a simple solve; she had stormed upstairs without dinner and never returned downstairs. She spent her night growling her misery and frustration, throwing everything out of her drawers and off her desk.

The commotion stayed a mystery as she lay in bed, blinking the low-grade headache out of her eyes. She dragged herself from bed, stumbled to her window, and pulled down one of the cheap, plastic blinds to peer through.

Her stomach dropped.

She was downstairs minutes later, still wearing her clothes that she’d fallen asleep in the night before. She sprinted across the front yard, only stopping when she collided with the hedge.

The Wilcoxes were standing on their front step speaking to an officer. An ambulance was pulling out of the driveway with lights flashing.

“What happened,” Penny yelled at the adults. “Where’s Brooke?”

“Penny!” Mr. Lambert stormed across the yard. “Inside!”

“Where’s Brooke?”

“Inside, now!”

Penny dug her nails into Mr. Lambert’s hand as he grabbed her arm. She tore off his grip and ran back into the house. She shoved Aaliyah aside on her way to her room, jumping onto her bed, and hitting Brooke’s number in her phone.

There was no answer. The second call also went unanswered. She sent a text, waited, and nothing.

Mrs. Lambert arrived in her doorway, hands on hips. “You’re going to be late for school! Change your clothes. Get downstairs—.”

Penny shoved by her and raced down the stairs. She stared at Emily and Aaliyah–both pausing in their cereal intake–breathing heavily.

“Did you hear anything,” she asked frantically. “Where’s Brooke?”

She ran from the house as they silently stared at her.

The police were gone, and the Wilcox car was leaving the driveway. She ran into the street and forced them to hit the breaks.

“You crazy—,” Mr. Wilcox started angrily. 

“What happened to Brooke,” Penny demanded. She circled to the driver's side since his window was down. “Is she okay?”

“We don't have time for this,” Mrs. Wilcox snapped. “Her case worker can't get there before us, David; just drive.”

She was forced to jump back as the car crept forward, and then picked up speed. She screamed an expletive after them from the middle of the street.

---

School was buzzing like a mass of hornets. No one could focus with Mr. McBride leaving in a police car yesterday and an ambulance leaving the Wilcox house that morning. There were several rumors about them dating, about a lover’s pact, about them staging everything to run off together. Some whispers hissed that Mr. McBride escaped jail and hurt Brooke. Some rumors said she was dead.

Penny was frazzled by lunch. She stared unseeingling at her disappointing tray of beige food, sitting on the very edge of the hard, plastic bench of her usual table (there being nowhere else for her to sit, there was an invisible wall between her and the others since Spring Break ended).

“Penny,” Colton hissed at her. He looked around to make sure the others were not out of line yet. “Hey, Penny, psst! You okay?”

She shook her head, her throat too dry to speak. Her eyes stung.

“She’s probably not dead,” Colton said, trying to sound reassuring. “It’s a misunderstanding.”

“It’s my fault,” Penny croaked.

“...How?”

“I… I told someone about Mr. McBride….” She sniffed. “I d-didn’t think it’d spread around. I d-didn’t think B-Brooke….”

“Penny?” Destiny sat, concern all over her tearstained face. “It-it’s going to be okay. It’s just rum—.”

She ran from the table. The others were starting to sit, all upset and willing to pull her into their grief. They’d hate her worse once they learned she was responsible. This was much more serious than scaring Levi.

She sat in a bathroom stall until long after the bell to return to class sounded. She waited until the sounds in the hall died out before slipping out. The low-grade headache flared after her sobbing session and she could feel the hot, burning anger starting to fill her stomach as it did yesterday. She started to tremble with rage as she headed from the school.

---

The parish office looked like every other stereotypical, sterile cubicle setting. There were glass walls to give it a more open appearance beyond just boxes and half-open doors. There was a large desk built from the wall and floor, the kind found in dentist or doctor offices that was immediate when the door was opened.

The receptionist smiled at her with a slight puzzled expression.

“I want to talk to the priest,” Penny said coolly.

“I think he’s in a meeting right now…” Her eyes darted to the clock. “Shouldn’t you be in school?”

“Where’s the priest,” Penny asked. “It’s urgent.”

“Let me check if he’s finished,” she said, eyeing Penny warily. 

She picked up her phone, forced a smile, and turned away.

The anger was still simmering, now creeping towards her chest. Penny took deep breaths and leaned against the desk. She stared through the clear walls, watching random employees going to and from their cubicles. She perked up as the priest appeared with, she guessed, a deacon.

She went around the desk, ignoring the receptionist ordering her to stop and come back. She snaked through the cubicles until she arrived behind the priest and deacon.

“I trusted you,” Penny snapped.

The priest froze. The deacon froze. A few heads popped out of their cubicles to find the source of the commotion.

“Penny?” The priest patted the deacon on the shoulder, murmuring to him to continue on and wait. “Shouldn’t you be—?”

“I trusted you,” Penny repeated, growling. Hot tears cut down her face. “I told you all that in confession! It was private!”

“Penny, let’s go to my office,” the priest said, firmly but gently. He gestured. “Come on.”

She begrudgingly complied, glaring at any adult that dared to look their way during the short walk to the priest’s office. She dropped into an overstuffed leather chair with her arms crossed tight. She bristled at the calm in which he took his own seat.

“I heard about that English teacher,” the priest said. “I assume that’s what you’re upset over?” He held up his hand as Penny opened her mouth. “Confession is strictly private and confidential unless there is something criminal said. What that man was doing was wrong, and I was obligated to say something.”

“Brooke….” Her lip shook.

“Your friend is upset,” the priest said. “Yes, I can understand that, but you did nothing wrong.” He ducked to catch her gaze. “Penny. You did the right thing. You hold onto that. And, I’m sure, eventually, your friend will see this and things will—.”

“They took her away this morning!” Penny choked on a sob. “Th-the ambulance was there, and t-took her away!” She lowered her head in a completely useless attempt to hide her rapidly falling tears. “Some kids at school said she’s d-dead. No one will t-tell me anything…”

The priest was visibly paler. His mouth was slack, which he tried to cover by clearing his throat. He struggled up from his chair.

“Wait here,” he said. “I will make some calls—.”

“No!” She shot up, the heat rising through her again. “No! I should’ve never said anything to you!”

“Penny—.”

“No!” She backed towards the door. “You’re no different than any of the others. You let me think I should trust you, and that was wrong! Brooke might be dead, and it’s because I thought I could trust you!”

“Penny, please, calm–Penny!”

She flung open the door, shoved aside some adult that had been approaching, and ran from the building.

---

Unable to stomach going back to school, Penny hung out in the woods until the sun started setting. She tried calling Brooke twice more; it now went straight to voicemail. She sent another text that also went unanswered.

She dragged herself back to the Lambert house. The car the Wilcoxes had left in that morning was still missing. Everything was eerily still in the cul-de-sac.

The Lamberts were also eerily quiet during dinner. Aaliyah ate little, mostly moving food around on her plate. Penny, surprisingly, was able to eat all her food and even snuck extra from the fridge when she put her plate in the sink. She didn’t know if it was because she had eaten so little for the last twenty-four hours, or if the anger still smouldering in her stomach required fuel.

She didn’t bother closing her door after changing into her pajamas. She lay still, starting at the streetlight streak across the dark ceiling, listening to Mr. and Mrs. Lambert murmuring downstairs. They were uncharacteristically subdued, making specifics impossible to hear.

“They’re taking a break from fostering,” Aaliyah said quietly from the doorway.

“I don’t care," Penny said.

“You should,” Aaliyah spat. “They’re returning us. Like we’re nothing but an ugly sweater.”

“I don’t care,” Penny repeated more firmly. She sat up. “Go away.”

“You should care,” Aaliyah said icily. “You ain’t going to stay little and cute, Penny. You’re creeping towards teen, and no one wants those around.” She faked a look of dawning. “Oh, right, you aren’t even an adoption candidate. You still think that aunt of yours is coming for you. Aww, or is it your mommy?”

She glowered. “At least mine loves me.”

The smirk was instantly dropped from Aaliyah’s face. The space between them was charged, full of static that nearly crackled audibly in the air.

Aaliyah tossed her beaded braids. She left the doorway, pausing.

“Brooke ain’t dead,” she said. “I heard them saying she’s fine. She’s just locked in the psych ward until the Wilcoxes send her back into the system.”

Penny leapt out of bed. She hurried to Aaliyah and hugged her tight, immediately getting shoved hard to the ground. They glared at each other—Aaliyah disgusted and Penny irritated—before going off to their separate rooms.

She shut the door this time, no longer needing to eavesdrop to know what happened to Brooke. She watched the shadows on her ceiling, heard Emily sneak into Aaliyah’s room, heard their near-nightly murmurings start up.

The two teens cried a few times, specifically about Brooke or about Aaliyah’s impending departure was not clear. Penny didn’t strain to listen. She was busy fighting relieved sobs, trying not to choke on the stream of tears falling into her ears.

--------------------------

Shorter, but too long to include with the previous chapter. It's always way choppy because it worked better with Penny's emotional state verses a few random transition sentences. But, whew, this was a fast turn around on chapters, lol. Don't get used to that.

Read full Article
August 29, 2026
DO.Penny.7

“And they’re still mad at me,” Penny said with a heavy sigh.

She was resting her head on her arms as they cushioned her from the hard, wooden back of the pew in front of her.

The handful of Spring Break days had passed with everyone giving her the cold shoulder. She had taken refuge in the library or the woods; she partly was hoping to catch a glimpse of the bigfoot again to get a better photo, but had zero luck.

The Lamberts had returned in a refreshed, happy mood that had quickly waned before the week finished. Aaliyah had been uncharacteristically subdued since the end of Spring Break, leaving Penny to get the brunt of the criticism and irritability.

The priest hummed from in front of her. There was no other comment.

“Well… I guess that’s all,” Penny said. “Anything about Aisling?”

“Unfortunately, no,” the priest said. “I admire how patient you’re being with this. It has gone beyond the length I estimated.”

“Yeah, by a month,” Penny said dryly. She sighed again. “I know advice isn’t really part of this, but what should I do about my friends? I’m having a really tough time getting a picture of the bigfoot, and they’re too mad to really focus on the footprint one.”

The priest twiddled his thumbs. There was something more anxious about it than absentminded.

“How are things with your friend Brooke,” he asked. “You didn’t mention her much during your story.”

“I didn’t mention her at all,” Penny said. “She was around sometimes, but didn’t hang out with me or anything like that. She keeps hanging around Aaliyah, and they make fun of me. Call me weird and a baby.” She scoffed. “I know they’re sending nudes. I’m not dumb. Everyone knows Aaliyah does it. And more with who knows.”

“Does she have that same teacher as Brooke?”

“She’s older, so no. I don’t think she was fostered with the Lamberts when she was fifth grade. Why?” She narrowed her green eyes at his noncommittal grunt answer. “Do you think I can get Brooke back to normal?” She slumped in her pew. “I miss having her as a friend. Maybe once she’s not in Mr. McBride’s class, she’ll want to be friends again. She is starting to freak out about the year ending. I could try being… I don’t know, sympathetic or whatever.”

“How is she freaking out,” the priest asked, tripping slightly on the youthful phrase.

“She keeps following Mr. McBride around all weepy and saying things about she needs him. Or something like that.”

“How does he react?”

“Sometimes annoyed. Sometimes friendly.” Penny leaned over the pew. “What’s with all the questions about Brooke? I’m having issues with the other guys now.”

There was a lapse of silence. If the church had been a proper, gothic style cathedral, it would have filled the silence with reverence and small echoes of unseen movement. Penny bounced her leg and opened her mouth to ask, again, if there was anything she could do, but the priest finally spoke.

“Are you familiar with the Cottingley Fairies,” he asked carefully. “I’ve learned about them since you showed me your photos.”

“Is it some kind of fairy study,” Penny asked.

He turned to face her. His weather face was concerned and mixed with something else Penny couldn’t put her finger on. It looked a bit like pity which raised her hackles.

“Penny… you’ve gone through much in so few years,” he said in a quiet, soothing tone. “Perhaps, using fantastical fibs is not the best way to relate to others?” He smiled sadly. “Or is it an elaborate way to create walls?”

“Wait… fibs?” Her eyes widened. “Lies? About what? What’s this have to do with my friends?” Her heart pounded. “Wh-what’s this have to do with that fairy study?” She threw herself back against her pew. “Y-you aren’t supposed to look when I’m doing confession!”

The priest hesitantly turned back to the front. “You’ve a wonderful imagination. God has a purpose for it, I’m sure of that, but God would not want you to use this gift in the manner that you’ve chosen.”

“I don’t—You think I’m lying too?” Her eyes stung, half from anger and half from the overwhelming feeling filling her chest. “You saw the photos!” She recoiled as he started to turn. “You can’t look!”

“Penny,” he said kindly, returning to facing forward, “you have a talent for taking pictures. That much has been made clear. I do not even see anything harmful with your pictures as long as you’re honest about them. You should try that with your friends instead of trying to force them to abandon sense.”

There was another long silence. Penny bit her lip to stop it from shaking.

“If that’s all,” the priest said, his tone now forced lightness, “how about five Hail—.”

Penny launched herself from the pew. She ignored the priest calling after her, ignored the pedestrian she ran into as she exited the church. Her eyes were blurry with hot tears that no amount of wiping stemmed.

---

The rain outside distracted her from whatever it was the teacher was droning on about. She watched the raindrops slip down the window. Her mouth twitched at the will o’ the wisp bounding just inside the treeline.

“Penrose!” She straightened and faced forward. “Come do this problem, please.”

There were four different long division problems on the board. There was no way to know which the teacher had referred to. She hovered over the farthest left, eyeing the teacher for signs she was in the right spot.

“Look,” one of the boys yelled.

“Jeramiah, that’s—.”

“Mr. McBride is getting into a police car!”

Desks were shoved aside in the mad scramble as all the kids ran to the windows.

Mr. McBride was not being thrown in the back of a police car, but he was standing next to one talking to the two officers. He looked annoyed and panicky, keeping his arms tightly crossed and shifting his weight as he stood. After another minute–with the math teacher not even bothering to try to corral them–Mr. McBride climbed into the back of the police car, uncuffed, and freely.

“Okay, okay, back to math.” The teacher clapped to gain their attention. “In your seats.”

It was impossible for anybody then to focus on math after that, and the following classes were not much better, diverting into the teachers constantly shushing them and threatening demerits or other punishments as they buzzed to one another. Penny listened rather than participate in the wild rumors beginning to form. There was a sinking feeling in her stomach that deepened, especially whenever one rumor teased the English teacher had been caught dating a student, though names were not mentioned.

“I know our priest was asking parents about him,” a boy whispered in social studies. “He pulled my mom aside last Sunday to ask if I had him for English.”

“Mr. Walker,” Penny said, raising her hand, “I feel like I'm going to puke. Can I get the bathroom pass?”

After being told she was being gross, she was dismissed to the nurse’s office.

“I keep telling them the healthy lunches are poison,” the nurse said, irate. “Better off back with sloppy joes and hotdogs. Go lie down until it passes.”

Penny stared at the water stained ceiling. The office was fairly quiet with small sounds of the nurse’s pen scratching against paper and the random footsteps echoing from the hall.

She replayed over and over everything she had confessed to that priest. She told him all she had seen, heard, and her worries regarding Brooke and Mr. McBride. He pressed her for more information, and she’d been too stupid to think he was doing anything more than being an attentive listener.

She hadn't told him explicitly about the Realm, only showed him the pictures she had taken, and that was some relief.

Quick footsteps arrived on the other side of Penny’s curtain. “Kim! Did you hear about Tony?”

“Ssh! I have a patient,” the nurse hissed.

Penny rolled over in time with the newcomer’s steps as she joined the nurse at her desk. She watched their silhouettes on the curtain as they hunched together.

“Do you think he did it?”

“Probably,” the nurse said nonchalantly. “He zeros in on some wallflower girl every year. It always came across as fishing to me.”

“What about being nice because they're such sad-sacks?”

“No way. He gets too cold with them towards the end of the year. And then just stops talking to them completely once the new crop comes along. If he really cared, he'd check in on them. It's not like they switch schools or anything. It's easy enough to just ask how classes are going passing each other in the hall.”

“You think some foolish girl took the bait then?”

“Why not? He was bound to get at least one. He was so persistent. My bet is on that dreary looking girl that's been skipping after him all year. You know, the foster girl.”

“Poor thing never stood a chance.”

The two women started as Penny ripped back the curtain. She glowered at them as their embarrassment began to flush their faces. She said nothing and didn't wait around for them to apologize or defend themselves; she stormed from the office and quickly found herself outside the school.

It was too early to go back to the Lamberts, so she wandered off to the woods. She climbed up a tree and soaked in the sounds of the forest. Quiet tears slipped down her cheeks. 

It wasn’t exactly sadness she felt; it was more of a hopelessness than that. She had heard adults mutter about their rock bottom expectations of her and the other foster kids. There was a smouldering anger in her gut too as she replayed the conversation between the nurse and the other teacher. No one had even tried to stop Mr. McBride, and the way they spoke made it sound like Brooke was at fault.

Large, lumbering steps shook her tree. The bigfoot rooted below in the nearby bushes. She reached for her phone, stopped, and heaved a sigh as she sat straighter and watched.

“Of course you show up now,” she murmured to it. 

It raised its head, pausing, and then went back to searching. She waited until it moved on before descending.

The street lights were starting to flick on as she approached the Lambert house. It was later than when she usually arrived back, and she braced for the tirade that would come once she opened the door.

“It was you, wasn’t it?”

Penny froze as her heart missed a beat at the quiet address. It took a second to recognize it was Brooke’s voice, and another to find her in the darkening landscape. She was hovering by the hedge that separated their yards, her face obscured by her bangs and the growing dusk. The quaver in her voice was either tears or anger, and Penny could not decide which it was.

“What was—?”

“Don’t play dumb! You were jealous of Tony,” Brooke accused. “You’ve been weird about him forever, and you went blabbing, and now he’s in trouble!”

“Jealous?” Penny scoffed. “I was worried. He was a creep.”

“He was not!” Brooke choked on a sob. “H-he cared about me! He was the o-only one who did!”

“That’s not—.”

“Yes it is!” Brooke whimpered. “You ruined everything!”

She turned and ran for the Wilcox house before Penny could protest.

Penny teetered on the front step. The Wilcox couple did not like her coming around. It wouldn’t be a good idea to knock and ask for Brooke when they–and the Lamberts–were sitting down for dinner.

She walked in and immediately was assaulted with hysterics over how late she was, and dinner being on the table, and being ungrateful. The tantrum continued as she stood rooted to the stop, the exact words getting farther and farther as they turned to static.

“Penny,” Mrs. Lambert snapped. Her hands were on her hips, her eyes narrowed in intense dislike. “Are you listening to me? Answer me!”

Hot, burning rage rose from the pit in her stomach and up into her chest. She bristled as she soaked in the middle-aged woman’s glare. She grabbed the small, decorative table in the entryway full of family photos and threw it at Mrs. Lambert’s feet.

Mr. Lambert, Aaliyah, and Emily raced from the dining room to see what the commotion was; the two teenagers peeking around the corner with baited breath as the adults stared at the overturned table and the small girl. Mrs. Lambert looked shaken. Mr. Lambert was turning crimson but his mouth was unable to form words.

Penny huffed, fists balled up and shaking at her sides, her hackles still raised and teeth bared. She screamed–they flinched–and tore upstairs.

----------------------------------

Ah, the Cottingley Fairies. I remember learning about them as a pre-teen. It was a photographic hoax done by two cousins in England. They took 5 pictures of the younger cousin with "fairies" which were illistrated cutouts. I think the hoax was 1917-1922, but it wasn't until the 1980s (I think) that it was confirmed as a hoax. Since Penny tells the priest about the creatures in 2012, there isn't AI or even good editing on your phone, so this whole time his brain was breaking going "how?". And, since the teen phones in 2012 couldn't do videos, the pictures are stagnent making it easier to believe that Penny staged them.

There should be one more with Penny here. I was going to do a long chapter to wrap up this section, but I think it'd be too clunky.

Read full Article
August 24, 2026
Sketchbook Musings: Ace Gallagher - Everything else!

I think this may be the last set! Locals only let me do so many at a time or it would give me an error, so here's all the random leftovers :)

A Tier half-transformed as a dracleon back in 2005.

Coronation, 2009

Prince Swift hs crowned and marked by blue fire!

I have made at least 2 attempts at drawing the Alan Parsons Project song "Snake Eyes"... this is one from 2011...

...And this one from 2013. I like aspects of both; maybe the layout of this one but mixed with the realism of the other? I need to study my cobra anatomy if I'm going to try again, hah.

Twila Sketch, unknown

Twila was a little shapeshifting dragon Ace picks up in the jousting book, but I've since replaced her with an owl :D Still a cool feathery dragon design!

And here's just an Ace with epic scarf. I just really like scarves. This was dated 2014!

Train in the Distance, 2014?

I'm not sure when I drew this, but it was when I first linked James to some backstory. Windmachine Guitar Duo has a song called "Train in the Distance" with lyrics that beautifully describe overcoming domestic violence, and since James was a newbie, he got it added to him. It also made me wonder how his speech impediment affected all that too. And who'd have known then Ace would get added to this family and go through it in his own way...

Ava Harley, 2016

Thanks to Tomodachi Life, I figured out James was going to have a daughter :D

And that's all that was in my file! Thanks for joining me on this exciting trip!

Read full Article
Available on mobile and TV devices
google store google store app store app store
google store google store app tv store app tv store amazon store amazon store roku store roku store
Powered by Locals