Firebrand Risk
P.Track.2
August 12, 2025

Nellie first woke up too early due to the time difference and the fact that she had passed out far too early not to. She crept into the kitchen, ate a slice of bread, and left two on the floor near the not-dog who was sleeping on the couch. She crawled back into bed after that, and woke much too late the next time.

Nathalie was gone and left a note on the counter with presumably some breakfast. Nellie found a broken plate alone with the soggy, illegible paper. She sighed at the creature ripping stuffing from the couch.

“It makes much more sense to skip school today and get you sorted out, doesn’t it,” she asked him. “I’m late as is, so it makes perfect sense to just take a full absence, right?” She and the animal regarded each other before the latter began to resume his destruction. “Good. Glad it makes sense to the both of us.”

She scrounged up something to eat, threw the broken plate away, and dressed for the day. She got the not-dog to follow her out to one of the out buildings using the rest of the bread, shutting him inside.

“I’ll find you something better to eat for later.” She tapped the door softly. “Be a good boy. Take a nap.”

Nellie set out after pulling up her destination on her phone. The reception was spotty at best and she did not want to risk attempting to remember if she needed to stay south or west or what have you.

The Moore County Library was a much smaller building than she anticipated. It was a single story off-white brick building with tiny, slant windows around the roofline. It was scarcely larger than a warehouse. The open floor plan inside was bright and welcoming, but did not leave much room for books. The books Nellie saw at a glance were all for toddlers and elementary aged children.

She approached the desk. “Um, excuse me?” She smiled as the library peered up at her. “Do you have any non-fiction books on cryptids?”

“Cryptids? Like bigfoot?”

“I suppose so, but… not bigfoot,” Nellie said. “I was hoping for ones that looked like wolves or dogs.” She recoiled under the librarian’s perplexed stare. “Or, what about local folktales and stuff?”

“I can search the database, but my guess would be that we don’t carry anything like that,” the librarian said. “We focus more on storytime and book club. Have you tried the internet?”

There was a great urge to point out how someone her age would go to the internet first, but Nellie held her tongue. She took a breath.

“I think the internet guy is coming today,” she said.

“Oh, so, you’re new here,” the librarian said. “Figured you were born somewhere else with that accent.”

“Florida,” Nellie said. Her smile dipped. “I moved here from Florida. I might’ve been born somewhere else….” She recovered her smile with force. “Do you have computers?”

“You would need a library card,” the librarian explained. “I can get you the forms. I just need one of your parents to show their ID.”

Her face was beginning to ache from the amount of force it was taking to maintain her friendly disposition. She thanked the librarian stiffly and wandered outside.

Lynchburg was starkly different from Sunrise, Florida. Sunrise was busy with traffic, crowded with stores of all kinds, and there was food from everywhere (Middle Eastern, South American, Indian, just off the top of her head from those near her old condo). Lynchburg, Tennessee was–apparently–known for Jack Daniel’s whiskey. Many of the small buildings–most one story–had old ads featuring the whiskey painted on their bricks. There was a walking trail of sorts related somehow nearby. The town was not without a certain charm with the style reminiscent of the Old West, and the stores all being local and unique to themselves.

Nellie felt her hollow stomach and headed for the coffee shop.

The inside was cramped with exposed brick walls and wooden beams overhead. There were two separate counters, one for coffees and hot foods and another for ice cream. Most of the seating at the long, glossy tables was taken up by retirees nursing dark coffees and eating biscuits smothering in chunky, white sausage gravy.

“Hi, welcome in!”

Nellie smiled at the older woman behind the counter, approaching with her eyes up on the menu. As hungry as she was, subs, paninis, and calzones all seem unappetizing. The ten dollar minimum price was not doing much to sway her either.

The cinnamon rolls were just under half the price, though the sight of the inch thick caked on frosting that was melting at the edges in a watery ooze had her questioning if she would be able to make the hike back home without vomiting. Her hunger won out, and she carried her cinnamon roll–complete with a plastic fork stuck in the top–away from the counter. She surveyed the tables for a spot to sit.

“This seat is open,” called an elderly woman with her hair dyed into a bleached blonde. “We’re finishing up.”

Nellie dropped into the offered seat beside–presumably–the woman’s husband. She gave them a big smile. “Thanks.” She poked at her cinnamon roll at a loss on how to start it. “It’s cold today, isn’t it?”

“Sure is! February will be terrible with us getting snow now.”

Nellie tried to be discreet as she started scraping off the chunk of frosting. “February is worse?”

“Usually,” the woman said. She took a sip to finish off  her coffee. “January and February are clear cut winter. March can be bitter, but we don’t usually get the snow.”

The old man tilted his head at her. “Where are you from?”

“Florida.”

The pair exchanged an ‘ah’ with the smallest hint of envy.

“Beautiful place,” the old man said. “We try visiting every winter just to get a break from the cold. Didn’t get the chance this year. Price of everything is too high.”

“I was thinking ‘this girl can’t be from California, too nice’ and now it makes sense,” the old woman added. “Such nice people down in Florida.”

Nellie forced out a polite smile, and took a nibble of her cinnamon roll to avoid needing to comment. She never thought of people from one area or another as being nicer or more unpleasant. It was too simple. There were people in Florida that had been nasty to her, and those that had been kind. She never met anyone from California that she knew of, but also did not have a habit of asking people where they came from. She only asked if it was a foreign exchange student, or if they had an accent like her mom’s.

Her demeanor turned glum at the thought of Nathalie. She would not be able to avoid asking her if they were related forever. She would need to confront her about her entire life being a lie.

“Are you all right, miss?”

Nellie smiled for the couple again. “Yes, just tired. …I heard odd noises last night. Growls, and such, but not like any I’ve heard before.”

“Could be a bigfoot,” the old man mused, rubbing his wrinkled chin.

“Oh you!” His wife reached across the table and playfully whacked his arm. “Don’t pay him any mind.”

“I have noticed a lot of bigfoot silhouettes and statues decorating the area,” Nellie said, largely focusing on the man. “Does this area have bigfoot stories? In Florida, we had skunk-bear, which is like a stinker bigfoot.” She leaned forward with a grimace, and whispered in a whisper elderly people in an eatery could hear, “I swear I smelt it before.”

The old man lit up. It was the exact reaction Nellie had hoped for.

“You a believer in bigfoot, young lady?”

“I’m not sure,” Nellie said, poking her ever hardening cinnamon roll. “Like I said, I think I smelled a skunk-bear, but what if it wasn’t that? But then, when I was hiking in the Everglades once, I saw odd tracks, like a panther but the feet didn’t line up like it had four legs. It looked more like six. Wampus cats look like panthers and have six legs… but surely….”

She trailed away to allow the old man’s excitement to grow. She picked a bit of cinnamon roll off the mass, giving a small shrug of indifference and unsureness to better sell her apprehension on believing in cryptids. It took a lot of willpower not to smile at the sparkle in the old man’s eye.

“Young lady, do not be so quick to ignore imagination. Kids these days, no imagination!”

The old woman reluctantly nodded. “That is true.” She set her mouth in a firm line. “But you shouldn’t encourage–.”

“Wampus cat!” The old man clapped his hands–startling Nellie and the others at the sudden loudness of it. “No one talks about those, and there were so many stories! They’re widespread in this country, just as sure as those mountain lions they get mistaken for are. Just as sure as bigfoot!”

“I had a bigfoot print in my backyard,” called another retiree who was ordering at the counter. “No doubt about it. We got one that crosses through the yard once or twice a year.”

“I remember stories of them six-legged cats as a girl,” an elderly woman said as she picked up her coffee.

A wide, excited smile spread across Nellie’s face and wrinkled her freckled nose. This was better than she hoped. She nestled on her hard seat in a vain attempt to make it more comfortable.

“I’d love to hear some of these local stories,” she said eagerly, genuinely.

---

The winter sun was so low by the time that Nellie got back to her house that it did not penetrate the trees. The clearing where the house stood was as dark as if night had settled, and no lights shone from the windows. That was a positive–Nathalie was not home yet–and a negative–it was harder to navigate the stoney area to the front door. The not-dog howling and carrying on from where he was locked up did not help the overall vibe of the area, but Nellie ignored him and burst into the house, slapping at the wall for the lightswitch.

She frantically dug through a moving box in the kitchen, rummaging until she found the loose pens and half-used notepads at the bottom that had been on the fridge in Florida to keep track of grocery lists. She jotted down a list; Cumberland dragon, raven mocker, smoke wolf, wampus cat, white screamer, werewolf (Woodbury/Dickson). She left off bigfoot and the Bell Witch, not only because she was confident her not-dog was not one–she was certain he was a smoke wolf now–but because they were well known enough she could easily look into them at her leisure. She ended her list with griffin/gryphon(?). 

That one definitely needed looking into. She knew enough to know those were not native to Tennessee, and old Mrs. Throneberry sounded both uncertain that was what she saw–having done her own research after the sighting–and confident she had seen something of the sort last Wednesday.

Nellie dug the communal laptop out of a box in the living room. After waiting for the ancient thing to turn on with a dreadful hum, she hovered over the internet icon, frowning.

The bar at the bottom showed no internet connection, so Nathalie had not set the new Wi-Fi up on the laptop yet. She clicked it to see if she could connect it herself–the password would be the same as always if Nathalie at least had the chance to change it from the preset one.

There was no available network.

“Did the internet guy not show up,” Nellie mused out loud.

She set the laptop on a stack of boxes, and gave into the howls. There were boneless pork chops in the crisper that were likely meant to be tonight’s dinner, but Nellie was not in the mood for one of Nathalie’s hard, overcooked bricks. No amount of applesauce helped. She tore off the plastic, scrunching her freckled nose as she touched the slimy meat.

The smoke wolf quieted with his howls replaced by loud sniffing at the door.

“Sorry for the wait, boy,” Nellie called through the door. “Hopefully, three pork chops will be enough for the night.”

She carefully edged the door open. The sniffing grew louder as the smoke wolf jammed his nose through the crack, prying the door to get his muzzle through, and then his head. Nellie handed him a pork chop, quickly pulling her hand away to avoid her fingers being snapped off.

“You’ll need to learn to take it gentle,” she said in mild scolding. “Back up, please. I can’t let you out in this cold, and Mom would have a fit if I brought you back in.”

She tossed the second chop over the smoke wolf’s head, and was able to slip inside the out building. She instantly regretted shutting the door, cutting off any meager light seeping from the house windows. She could not see the styrofoam tray in her hands, nor the smoke wolf. All she could hear was his snapping jaws, small growls, and the tearing of meat. Then, it was silent.

“I–,” she cleared the squeak in her throat, “--I’ve only got one left….”

There was a faint, red glow from the smoke wolf’s eyes among the blackness. He was watching her, and was inching nearer, completely silent. The absurd image of a pair of red eyes floating among a wisp of black smoke crossed her mind, causing her to snicker softly. She startled as the tray in her hands was bumped, the eyes blinking out and blinking back some feet away with a low growl.

“You startled me first,” Nellie said. She cringed at the raw pork texture as she grabbed the last piece, throwing it towards the glowing eyes. She paused with her hand on the door. “Wish I could let you back out, really, but with the cold and all, I don’t think it wise.” She gave a shiver as she cracked open the door. “Think I’ll find you some blankets. I want to be certain you don’t get too chilly out here.”

There was more than just the winter that made her hesitate to let the smoke wolf go. Mr. Knott told her that when he had seen smoke wolves some odd forty years ago, they had been in a pack out in the Appalachians of West Virginia. They likely had a territory range like any animal would, but no pack for a pack animal was trouble.

Nellie smiled as she pulled spare bedsheets from a box in Nathalie’s room. The smoke wolf did not hurt her when they were in the dark, where it had the clear advantage unlike in the house or during the day in the woods. He had followed her of his own accord. Being a social animal–assuming smoke wolves shared behavior with normal wolves–he was probably looking for a friend.

“I need to learn more about wolves,” Nellie murmured. She fought the sheets into a large wad. “I swore the internet was coming today. How annoying! Oh! He’s probably thirsty after all that pork.” She considered the fullness of her arms. “Another trip then.”

She returned to the outbuilding with more confidence, wedging her way through the door and closing it with her foot. She spoke to the smoke wolf calmly as she attempted to lay out the blankets in a neat pile in the darkness; telling him of the old folks she spoke with and the awfulness of the slab of icing on the cinnamon roll. For his part, he stayed quiet and kept a good foot away judging on where his eyes were. He was either crouching or lying down. Nellie chose to believe he was lying down.

Finding a suitable water bowl was more of a challenge. The only bowls unpacked thus far were for cereal, and they did not seem near large enough. Nellie started digging though one of the opened boxes in the kitchen when she heard the gravel crunching outside. She glanced up to catch the familiar headlights of Nathalie’s Crown Victoria before returning to her digging, her shoulders now stiffened.

Nathalie came barging in through the front door with a cold gust of wind at her back. Her pale skin was red, and the shining anger in her blue eyes indicating her complexion was not just from the cold.

She threw her keys at the couch with no key hook yet unpacked.“Perenelle!”

Nellie kept her focus on searching the box despite now seeing it was full of random cookery utensils and no bowls. Hot tears prickled in the corners of her eyes.

“Are you not going to say anything to me,” Nathalie asked. “You well know I’m only this cross with you because I know you’ve skipped school.” Nathalie jumped at the long, horrible howl that sounded from the outbuilding. She put her hand over her heart, taking a breath. “And that thing–!”

“Smoke wolf,” Nellie muttered.

The correction caused Nathalie to go crimson. She hissed out a long breath. “Do you know what I've been doing while you were skipping school to play with that creature? I’ve just been down to your school, for hours, trying to convince them you are not hiding a pregnancy from me!” She threw her hands in the air. “Of course they think I’m being daft. They want to call the State. The State, Perenelle Herle! We’ve not been here a week and they want to step in!”

The tears broke, hot and angry. Nellie stormed from the kitchen, ignoring Nathalie’s shout to stop. She threw herself into her room but was stopped from slamming the door by Nathalie wedging herself in the way with a sharp yelp.

“Oh no, you will not lock yourself in and hide like last night,” Nathalie said. “I let that go, trying to be understanding of this all being new, but causing such scandal to your teachers is much too far.”

Nathalie was shifting from fury to bedraggled. Her pale hair was already a mess from being tied up in a bun all day, but had loosened during her show of anger. The flush had left her face and left her sallow; her eyes now straining to keep her own tears in.

“Nellie… if you were so upset over the move, I wish you’d just have told me rather than all this. If the State gets involved….”

Nellie dragged her wrists under her eyes to cut the angry tears. There was a tremor in Nathalie’s tone that was foreign and uncharacteristic. She guiltily rubbed her arm and looked at the floor.

“I didn’t mean for that dumb teacher to think I was pregnant…. Sorry.” She bit her lip to stop the smirk forming. “Bit of a reach, isn’t it? Idiot.”

“Perenelle, this is serious,” Nathalie said. She rubbed her forehead. “Why on earth ask all those questions if not to give her that impression?”

“I…,” Nellie trailed off. Her chest hurt. Her eyes began to well again. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

Nathalie’s face clouded. Her forehead wrinkled with worry, and she took hold of Nellie’s shoulders, squeezing them hard and bending to eye-level. “Did something happen? Did you hear of something happening?”

“No!” She broke away and pushed around Nathalie back into the rest of the house. “I just… just need to get water out to that poor smoke wolf. I’m thinking of calling him Ash….”

“You are not keeping–Do not switch the topic,” Nathalie said, following Nellie as she went back to find a mixing bowl.

Nellie refused to answer as Nathalie pelted her with the same question said different ways. She finally extracted a large Pyrex and began filling it.

“You are not giving him my good mixing bowl!”

“He needs something,” Nellie protested. “Just for tonight. I’ll go out–.”

“You will go to school and explain how you lied,” Nathalie said firmly. “I’ll call animal control–.”

“Ash isn’t just some animal, Mom!” She glared. “Or….”

“He can’t stay here, Nellie,” Nathalie said, exasperated. “Have you noticed we still have no internet service? The poor man called my phone terrified. Heard that thing–.”

“His name is Ash!”

“--carrying on and refused to wait for me.” Nathalie scoffed. “All the good that would do, honestly.”

“He’s still scared,” Nellie protested. “He’ll settle down. He’s young, probably, and lost, maybe.”

She carried the Pyrex towards the door, trying hard not to slosh it. A bucket would be better as a long term solution, and filling it with the hose would be more efficient. Except that it was currently winter and they did not have a hose. 

She spilt water down her pants as Nathalie threw herself in front of the door.

“I told you that you are not using my good mixing bowl,” she said. “Go put it away and sit. We aren’t finished.”

Nellie narrowed her eyes. “I would rather not talk about how you aren’t my mother, but if you insist.”

All the color drained from Nathalie’s face.

Nellie gave a cry–that shock the final confirmation–and pushed outside. She was grabbed, yanked away, and in the process the Pyrex shattered on the front steps. She did not turn to see Nathalie’s expression, or the broken bowl, and ran straight for the howling outbuilding.

---

It was the loud but trying to be quiet murmuring from the living room that caused Nellie to wake up. It was still dark and cold, suggesting it was much too early and not simply winter hours. Her phone read 1:21 AM. She sat up and watched a fluffy blanket fall to the floor.

She had stayed out with Ash until all the lights had gone off, then snuck back inside and collapsed on her bed. Nathalie must have covered her. That blanket had still been in a box.

Nellie wrapped it around her shoulders and snuck to her door. She pressed her ear to the edge, easing it open a crack. The warmth of a light out in the living room seeped in along with Nathalie’s tired, strained voice.

“--can’t hear well, sorry, Winny. Reception is dreadful out here. Internet was supposed to come–no matter.” There was a pause. “No, no, I can text you a summary after. I just… just really needed to hear your voice. As much as I can hear it.” She sighed heavily. “Honestly, Win, I don’t understand how there is no cell service. But, I’m calling about–. Hello? Winston? Winston. Can you hear me?” Nathalie stifled a sob. “Winston, please, be able to hear me. Nellie found out. I-I don’t know what to do.”

Nellie jumped, wincing at the creak in the floor, but whatever had Nathalie shoot to her feet so suddenly covered the sound.

“Winny? Oh, good, is this better? Did you hear what I said about Nellie? You did!” Nathalie’s floorboards creaked as she swayed. “What do I do? Rhys didn’t–. Winny? Hello? Winston, can you hear–? Sod it!”

The couch groaned as Nathalie threw herself onto it, resolved to text the conversation instead.

Nellie carefully crept backwards to her bed, slithering down into it. She felt oddly hollow. Nathalie had confirmed again, with words this time, that she had been lying to her. It was how Nathalie waited until she was asleep to make that phone call that churned her stomach.

Uncle Winston was a jovial man with a dark sense of humor. He was several years older than Nathalie, and her confidant before any big decision. Nellie had been on most of the Zoom calls between him and Nathalie as she decided to move them out of Florida. Nellie liked talking to Uncle Winston, liked the few visits even more–despite his grown kids being complete snobs. There was a whole new betrayal to know he hid this from her, and helped Nathalie lie.

-------------------

I have no idea what I'm calling this, so first chapter was That Thing w/Perenelle, and this is P.Track.2 which is how it's labeled in my docs, lol. The coffee shop is real. I didn't get a chance to visit, so I don't know if the clientle is elderly or hipster, but like all the small towns around here, they tend to be elderly so I went with that. It made for a better way for Nellie to get some info. The old people really do complain often about Californians (or anyone not originally from TN/the south, honestly) but they aren't always mean about it, so I figured with Nellie being polite and curious, they'd be more willing to talk. (Often times here, "natives" don't talk to anyone minus casual small talk pleasentries. They never give up info on the area, it was a big pain the first time we lived here trying to navigate where things were and stuff--IN was the same way, weirdly enough.)

Slowly filling out Nathalie's side. I couldn't think of anything more British than Winston, so had to call him that. Their parents also have much more traditional names, and some woman connected to Winston is Margret (Margo). I don't know if it's his wife or daughter, leaning more towards wife since he'd probably just have named his daughter Margo straight up. I'm thinking him and Nathalie are roughly 5-7 years apart. I wanted to have Nathalie on Zoom with him so there was more conversation, but then remember there was no internet and most of the middle of this state is dead zone.

community logo
Join the Firebrand Risk Community
To read more articles like this, sign up and join my community today
2
What else you may like…
Videos
Podcasts
Posts
Articles
October 23, 2026
Flight of the Grackles

We were coming back from dinner with the top down and the hoards of grackles were flying overhead. Awesome to see them without the top to get in the way, but then you're at their mercy if they poop 😅

They all gather heavily in this area (lots of wires and store parking lots) and the mall not far from here (lots of trees and parking lot. Never park under the trees in this area. They look like war zones lol)

00:00:20
Some Story Talk: Mioko's Name and Other Tales

I've been thinking more about Mioko as I continue the rewrite, and heres a bit of the process of discovering if I need to (gasp) change his name!

--

In the video I forgot: Mioko's sister is now named Haru 😁

I also forgot to mention that some of the coolest bits in keeping his name the same is that one of the possible meanings of his name is "waterway" or "channel" which goes really well with his connection to the sea/the fae and his channeling of their power. So yeah!

00:12:51
What's Rou doing?

On today's episode of Whats Rou Doing?... She had already been rubbing her face in/around/on my cowboy boots for like 2 minutes prior to me finally pulling out the camera (I assumed when I pulledit out she'd stop). It was silly. Then extreme closeup. Aww.

00:00:30
January 23, 2025
Some Story Talk: Mioko

HEY LOOK I finally recorded something again. It's audio only since I was driving... ha

But basically, I'd been tossing around new thoughts for Mioko's backstory (how he becomes bound to the crystal) and in the time it took for me to get to record this, I made up my mind on which route I wanted to take. It's kinda rambly, and there are car noises, but it's not bad! I may have to do more like this.

Some Story Talk: Mioko
September 23, 2021
Some Story Talk ep. 16

I talk around this in ep. 15 and mention it in the second intermission story spitballs. Time for research; here comes the marriage pool episode.

Some Story Talk ep. 16
August 11, 2021
Some Story Talk ep. 11

Time for a research episode talking about one of may favorite theories (that I have unwittingly been applying everywhere, and you just might be too): Bak's Sand Pile!

Some Story Talk ep. 11
October 17, 2026
Turning Point Logo Design

I forgot I recently finished another logo design for a local company a friend of mine works at! He had started off using AI... but thankfully he realized having a human finish the work would be best :D Like we've mentioned before, AI can be a good place to start and in this case helped him get his vision out so I could better see what he wanted. So here's where we landed!

Their old logo was very Microsoft clip-art-y of a big blue and brown compass on a wire globe, so this gives them a fresh set of colors and a cleaner design.

...Also so much for me not taking on any more commissions lol. But logo designs are usually not too time consuming for me to slip in :)

October 03, 2026
Carnival of Curiousities

Last night was the opening night of the People's Plaza art show, Catclaw Carnival of Curiousities, and I went since I was featured in one of the pieces. It was a very unique show full of circus oddities, a real live bearded woman (man lol), and big paintings, sculptures and photographs of carnival sideshow acts. It was fun to be included as a Live Mermaid 😁

My coworker, whose husband took the photo, also painted the two-headed clown. It's massively huge, like over 8 feet tall. Fun stuff!

September 03, 2026
There But For the Grace of God

Original Song by Eric Woolfson & Alan Parsons
From the Freudiana album
Vocal cover by Jill D'Entremont

No one is an island, no one born alone
No man can turn the tide of fortune on his own
Though some may bravely try...

Say there but for the grace of God go you, my friend
Say there but for the grace of God go I...

--

This has always been one of my favorites from the Freudiana album, with absolutely incredible vocal by John Miles that I only hope I can measure up a fraction to. And, because this is me, I added a billion more backing vocals while I was at it :)

October 29, 2026
DO.Penny.15

An ear-splitting scream rang out across the house; Penny throwing herself into a sitting position, drenched in cold sweat. Her shaking hand went to the large, bandaged bite beneath her pajamas, feeling the small bumps of the stitching.

The bedroom was plain and of a modest size with just one window. Pre-dawn gray light was beginning to shine through, washing out the sharp corners of the walls. It was a cold, listless room, but familiar in that Penny had used it before when the Sizemores watched her during her time with the Lamberts. Comfort was still not a word that came to mind despite this familiarity.

There was no more sleep to squeeze out with her nightmare coming so soon to sunrise. She stared at her blank ceiling, mouthing what she could remember of a mantra, prayer, or hymn that Aisling used to repeat to her over and over when she was small. She stayed put until she was certain breakfast was well underway downstairs.

“You need to work on those nightmares,” Mrs. Sizemore said crossly, setting cold cereal on the table. “Trauma or no, we have jobs we need to get up for.”

“Don’t think seeing a girl’s guts all spread around is an easy get over,” Aaliyah muttered under her breath, further covering her comment with a long drink of coffee.

Penny and her briefly met each other’s eyes before continuing with breakfast in silence.

Her fostering by the Sizemores had been delayed a week to treat her injury, be debriefed by police and rangers, to start off on therapy, and to be sure the Sizemores still wanted to deal with her now that she had extra baggage (and a smaller stipend with new expenses resulting from that baggage). Whether Aaliyah was explicitly told what had happened, or if she overheard something, she had been giving Penny a pass on her usual bullying. She was not nice to her in any regard, mainly ignoring her, but in ways Penny appreciated that more.

Her friends at school, and Colton, wanted to hear all the details, ask how she was, but there was an unspoken rule between all of them not to bring it up. It felt stagnant between them, and as if everyone was trying too hard not to pull away into other groups or activities to escape the crushing lapses of awkward silences.

There was the tiniest highlight of Colton now avoiding her as much as she had been avoiding him before. He would make a show of greeting her, sometimes putting his arm around her shoulders as they walked, but then spent the rest of the school day apart or with a friend or two between them. Penny knew it wasn't sustainable; it was a question of which of them would be the first to say it out loud.

She flinched as Colton dropped his arm around her shoulders as she arrived at school. He quickly withdrew.

“Did I touch your…,” he trailed off, his eyes lingering on her shoulder.

“Only surprised me,” Penny said. Her green eyes darted to her hand as he took it, swinging it in time with their steps. “You’re extra happy today.”

“My mom says you should come around for dinner,” Colton said. “This weekend or next. It feels like… I don't know, like things are getting to be okay again.”

Heat flared in Penny’s chest. “Okay again?” She crossed her arms and stepped away. “Beth-Ann doesn’t ever get to be okay again.”

“I didn’t mean—You know what I was trying to say,” Colton said defensively. “What happened was awful. You know I believe that.”

She unbristled. “Sorry….”

“Paige wants to come. Whichever weekend works out for you,” he said. He smirked. “It’s kinda grown up, right? The girlfriends coming over for dinner.”

She froze as he leaned over and kissed her cheek. She barely was able to force out a smile as he bid her goodbye, heading off to his class. She touched her cheek, walking in a stupor towards geography.

Hodge was not going to like this.

---

The unicorn was antsy when she visited that evening. He flattened his ears when she petted his neck, but allowed it. He refused the butterscotch chip molasses cookie she made for him. She knew he'd gobble it up the moment she left.

“You know it's a bribe,” Penny muttered. “You’re too good and honest a creature for that. Oh, hold still a sec, you’ve got a major burr.”

The task of painstakingly removing burrs with her fingertips was oddly soothing. There was a degree of focus to it so that she didn't pull too hard or prick herself too badly. It was good for clearing her mind, to stop it from showing her images from that night. Hodge had been getting a lot of burrs since that camping trip. Much more than before.

“My counselor wants a specialist to evaluate me tomorrow,” Penny said. “She isn't saying it, but she thinks I'm a lost cause. …Guess that tracks.” She patted his neck, receiving a disgruntled snort. “I know. I know. I got to stop all this with Colton. It isn't fair to either of you. It's…,” she moved away from the unicorn, “it's that I don't think we can go back to friends after this… Maybe if he wasn't into this boyfriend-girlfriend thing so much….”

Colton was the only friend she had that she still saw consistently, and that was with how much she gave him the cold shoulder. There would be no one left if she dumped Colton. There may be no one left if he dumped her. It was always possible there would be no one if they stayed together, everyone growing bored with their couple act.

Penny finished up a braid in Hodge’s mane. She gave his neck a long, steady stroke. “I had no one before. So long as I have you, it’ll all be okay. …I wonder how Brooke is….”

She shook her first friend from her mind, bid Hodge farewell, and hurried out of the glade. She was halfway back to the Sizemores when a chill ran down her spine. She slowed, froze, as the hairs on her arm rose. She spun around, immediately feeling defenseless and helpless when all she managed to grab as a weapon was her cellphone.

A willowy man was climbing from an old car with a mud splattered front bumper. He wore a lot of black, as if he could not do without it, and his lank, jaw-length hair looked previously dyed or bleached with the ends being off colored and not sandy brown.

Penny lowered her guard as an odd sense of familiarity crept into place over the initial alarm.

“Penrose,” he asked. His voice was distinct, with a croak and rasp that she could not mistake. “Penrose Fox, right?”

“Who wants to know?”

His lip curled. He took a step forward, stopped as she took a step back.

“I heard about your case,” he said. His jacket shimmered slightly as he opened it, showing off the inside pocket. “Can you see that from there? Do you know it?”

She took two micro-steps forward, squinting. Her heart missed a beat. A smile hesitantly formed on her face as she locked in on the marking: 🜩.

“Y-you’re with the Order of Ferblanc….”

“Somewhat reluctantly, but yeah.” He let his jacket fall loose. “Friend of mine told me about what happened. You met her. Bowen Crabtree.” He gave a dismissive wave. “Nevermind. Probably didn’t exchange names with her busy killing that not-deer chomping on your shoulder.” He winced. “Sorry… that was too blunt.”

Penny shrugged, reading over her stitches and staring at the pavement. There had been a rescuer, but she had only barely registered the person was a woman with all that had happened. She had not even delivered Penny back to camp, merely taking her to within sight of the clearing before dashing off–-presumably to handle the rest of the herd and clear a path for Beth-Ann to be found.

“She’s the keeper for that stretch. If you were wondering. She wasn’t some random park ranger.”

“I figured she must’ve been… I think,” Penny said. “Beth-Ann, officially, was mauled by a mountain lion. A random person would’ve completely freaked out and gone with rabid deer or something.”

“It’s easier.” He pointed to her phone still in her hand. “But… you don’t share the whole idea of keeping the Realm quiet, do you?”

She shifted away from him, crossing her arms tight. “You never said your name?” She glared. “You could be a bad guy. Being part of the Order doesn’t automatically make you a good guy.”

He laughed a deep, slightly wheezing, laugh. “Ezekiel Zickefoose.” He gave her a courteous nod. “Eek, if you’d like, but never in front of other Knights.” His smile faltered. “You can sense something off about me, right? Like magic, but not exactly the same. That’s my superpower; naturally more resilient against magic. Pretty useful for a Knight.”

“Yeah…,” Penny said, sidestepping. She looked at her phone, gulping at the time. “Well, Mr. Zickefoose, it’s cool getting some connection to the Realm again, but I do have a curfew. I’d exchange numbers, but…,” she looked at this grown man trying hard not to be a full blown goth, “kind of weird. Sounds like you know about Hodge, so you can just DM me.”

“Right… I’ve held you up. I wanted to meet you before tomorrow.” He gave a small, sly smile. “Your counselor thinks I’m some type of mental health consultant. I just wanted to let you know that I'm not.”

She stared, eyes once more flicking over his appearance.

“I can’t really help with what happened except to be someone who knows what really happened.” He dusted his hands together. “There. Now your hour tomorrow we don’t need introductions. You can just talk. Bowen said you’d need it.”

“Thank you,” Penny said, unsure. “Umm, I do need to go….”

He didn’t try stopping or delaying her further, but Penny could feel him staring after her as she walked on. She bolted once she turned down the next street, stealing a glance back.

“What a weirdo….”

Ezekiel Zickefoose stayed on the edges of her mind as she sat down to dinner and prepared for bed. There was something about his voice she couldn’t shake, something about how he looked that sparked familiarity. She must have been familiar to him as well with how he immediately jumped to his nickname and watched her go. He had no real reason to intercept her, pretext of giving her the heads up or not.

Her phone buzzed, distracting her from staring into the nothingness of her ceiling. Her heart plummeted when she saw it was Colton’s customary goodnight text. This one asked a follow up question, so it felt too rude to leave it answered.

Did you get a chance to ask about dinner?

A simple ‘no’ worked, but was too blunt. She deleted it and tried again, but ‘not yet’ wasn’t right either. It was dancing around the glaring issue, the one she was hoping he’d pick up on enough to call it quits mutually. Her insides squirmed with guilt as she slowly wrote out:

Dinner won’t work. I don’t think dating works. Sorry.

She hastily silenced her phone and put it screen down so as to not see the light from the notifications. She gulped the stale air, half surprised to find tears leaking from her eyes. It was hard to say if it was the crying itself or knowing she hurt her–now former–friend for so much longer than needed that embarrassed her most. It was being a coward not explaining it all in person.

Penny took deep, slow breaths and forced her mind back to Ezekiel Zickefoose. There was not much to latch onto outside of his voice and appearance. She stared hard, hearing Mrs. Sizemore leave for work for the overnight shift. She continued staring with nothing to grasp as her eyes grew heavy and the sounds of thumping came from the stairs. Her eyes were shut, breathing starting to even out as her ears caught murmurs from Aaliyah’s room, drawers or something being shut or banged about.

Aisling’s room was being raided by an unknown man and woman; they were packing a bag for her because her mother had died unexpectedly. That man… he was goth trying hard not to be with a croak in his voice.

She sat up, breathing hard. The familiarity… the voice and fashion… how he seemed to know her–depite them not meeting before–it all added together. That woman with him at that time may’ve even been Bowen Crabtree, but she had no reason to think that and couldn’t remember enough of her rescuer to connect the two.

“...Please… not tonight… please….”

Penny stared through the wall that separated her room from Aaliyah’s. She blinked slowly, ears straining, annoyed at the distraction from this revelation that Ezekiel Zickefoose was connected to Aisling. She flinched at the sound of a slap and a yelp.

She was out of bed and throwing open Aaliyah’s door before she knew she had even moved.

Mr. Sizemore was bearing down on Aaliyah as she cowarded in the farthest corner of her bed. Her buttoned pajama top was torn open. She held her face where she’d been smacked.

“Ger back to your room,” Mr. Sizemore demanded. He straightened when Penny stayed frozen, and lumbered towards her menacingly. “Get back to your room, and you keep that mouth of yours—.”

Penny heard static. She saw red. There was a scream from Mr. Sizemore, high pitched and pained. Her foot hurt, and it took a minute for her to realize she had kicked him and was continuing to kick him. Even once she realized, she kept kicking every inch of him as he thrashed about on the floor trying to protect himself. She grabbed a lamp, threw it over him with a guttural yell. She searched for anything else to use.

“Penny!” Aaliyah grabbed her shoulders, shaking her. “S-stop! You’ll kill him!”

She kicked him once more in the stomach, or groin, grabbed Aaliyah’s wrist, and ran down the stairs. Her mind was racing, tripping over itself, not making sense of anything. She kept her grip on Aaliyah tight, and the older girl didn’t stop her or fight her off. They dashed from the cul-de-sac, down into the woods, and out into Hodge’s glade. Only then did Penny stop to catch her breath, and release Aaliyah.

“Y-you idiot,” Aaliyah snarled. “You messed up everything!”

“What?” Penny glared. “I just—.”

“Took me out of the only place keeping me from a homeless shelter,” Aaliyah snapped. “I got nowhere to go!” She scoffed. “You never got it. Brooke resented that. Pretty Penny, too pure for the creeps. You’d get believed. Couldn't have that.”

Penny took a breath. “How long’s it been going on?”

“All my life,” Aaliyah said, faux-nonchalance breaking with a crack in her voice. “Or, Mr. Sizemore specifically? Since the Lamberts used to pawn us off on them.”

A shrill, braying whinny rang out. In the dark, Hodge looked like he glowed. He charged from the woods, lowering his head to point his black horn forward into a skewering position. He went for Aaliyah, but Penny blocked him, shushing him and speaking calming nonsense.

Aaliyah fell backwards. “Th-that’s from—It’s r-real. That’s a real unicorn!”

“Ssh, Hodge, easy there,” Penny said, ignoring Aaliyah. The colt kept trying to charge around her, to get at the intruder. “Easy there, handsome; she’s a… Easy there, boy.” To Aaliyah, firmly, she added, “You might want to back up a bit. You’re too close to me. He’s protective. And unicorns are aggressive to non-vir…gins.” She whipped back to Hodge, her face hot as she tried blocking the choked sob from her nemesis. “Back up! Back! Hodge, quit it!”

“Penrose!”

Hodge immediately diverted his aggression to Ezekiel Zickefoose upon his arrival into the glade, rearing up to spin around and charge. Penny opened her mouth to yell for Hodge to stop, choking on her words when a road flare sparked to life. 

Ezekiel waved it, roaring and yelling at the colt until he bolted for the woods.

“Hodge!” Penny abandoned Aaliyah, racing towards the treeline, but was caught around the middle. “Get off me!”

“No, Penrose,” Ezekiel scolded. “The cops are searching for you and that girl. You need to get back on the street before they start combing the woods.” He put his hands firmly on her shoulders. “That little spook won’t destroy what you have with that animal. Don’t worry. He’ll be back. Now, hurry up.”

There was another ten to fifteen minutes of snapping Aaliyah out of her shock and getting back to the neighborhood. It was another second after they set foot on the sidewalk near the Sizemore house before the police found them. The house was a swarm of lights, one of them being an ambulance.

Penny was separated from Aaliyah–no real loss–and taken away in a different car. The officers tried talking gently to her on the ride into town, but by this point her adrenaline was plummeting. She was doing all she could not to fall asleep. Tears pricked her eyes when she pictured Hodge’s wounded, frightened expression. Ezekiel was wrong for scaring him off how he did.

She was brought to a windowless room with a table and three uncomfortable, metal chairs. It looked every bit like the stereotypical interrogation rooms from random clips she had seen on the internet. She was given a bottle of water and then left alone. The room was too cold to sleep in despite her grogginess, and the chair too uncomfortable to bother attempting it.

A grizzled officer entered. He handed her a blanket and sat opposite of her with his beady eyes on his clipboard.

“We talked to Aaliyah,” he said. “She said she and Mr. Sizemore were having an affair. She apologizes for leading him on.”

“That’s bull–That isn’t what happened,” Penny said.

“I guessed as much.” He glanced over his clipboard. “Did he ever touch you?”

“Mostly ignored me… Guess I was lucky.” She straightened. “Why would Aaliyah say that?”

“Scared. I hear it a lot, unfortunately. Especially from kids like you two. Let’s see…. Did you mean to injure that man?”

Penny shrugged. “Is it bad? I don’t really remember it.”

“He’s not fathering any kids any time soon.” The officer’s mouth twitched but he quickly wiped his face back to neutral and stared at the clipboard. “There is a predicament with all this. You being a foster, and attacking your foster parent… we can’t exactly release you back to them. I tried contacting your caseworker, but she seemed…. Well, she answered the first call, and hasn’t gotten back to us.”

“Which means…?”

The old officer sighed heavily. “I suppose you go into holding until morning. Possibly the detention center after. Just until we get things sorted out.” He shook his head, his expression sour. “What a waste. Plucky little thing like you, we should give you a steak dinner and put you up in the best hotel for the night.”

There was not much comfort knowing she had done the right thing, not when faced with a long, cold, lonely night in a holding cell. She suspected it was more comfortable than the ones they kept adults, but that was not saying much. The cot was loosened bands between a frame; she had little choice but to be stuck hanging in the middle, and there was no real protection from the draft sweeping beneath all during the night.

She bounced between irritation at Aaliyah for failing to be truthful, and horrible, uncomfortable sadness at how things had turned out for her. Brooke popped into her mind often; Aaliyah’s charge that she had resented Penny went with it. She nearly drifted off, but whether due to all these bad thoughts or just the situation at hand, she would find herself snapping awake with a mingled image of Beth-Ann or Mr. Sizemore, both lying on the ground, sometimes both dead, sometimes both writhing.

The exhaustion kept her from fully processing that a young, female officer was standing in front of her cell with a tupperware similar to those used in airport security.

“I have your phone, a change of clothes, toothbrush, and we got you a bagel sandwich from down the street.” She opened the door and gently placed the tupperware on the floor. “There is someone here wanting to talk to you. Think you’ll be up for that in twenty to thirty? Give you a minute to change and eat?”

Penny didn’t respond, still staring blearily at the woman. She must’ve taken her silence for confirmation, because she left without pressing the issue. Penny could hear murmurs of her speaking to someone before the heavy door of the holding area cut off the sound.

She changed and was halfway through her sandwich before picking up her phone. Her heart dropped at the seventeen missed calls and forty-six unread texts from Colton. She cleared the calls and messages, scrolling to the most recent text at the bottom.

I deserve some kind of response. Ghosting me is immature.

Her jaw clenched, her hackles raising.

Sorry. I got arrested last night and didn’t have my phone until now.

The responses came in short and quick, expressing disbelief but not at her words, at the situation. News of her arrest had spread already. Then came the asking if she was okay, and the pleading for some kind of explanation. He went as far to ask if her decision had anything to do with witnessing Beth-Ann’s death, and expressed he could wait it out.

I thought about breaking up since before then. Hodge doesn’t like this dating thing. I’m never dating anyone.

The dots kept going and going, indicating Coton was doing a lot of typing. But, the response was short when it finally came through.

You’re breaking up because of your photoshop unicorn?

He’s real.

The dots moved again and again, before stopping with no reply.

She turned her phone off, sighing heavily.

“Ready for your visitor?”

“Sure,” she said, tucking away her phone.

It was not her caseworker that entered the holding area despite that making the most sense. It wasn’t Ezekiel Zickefoose or Aaliyah, or anyone she knew. It was an older than old stout woman holding herself up with a cane. She hobbled forward resolutely, and set a stern gaze upon Penny.

“I am Mrs. Adams. I was sent to negotiate your release to my employer, a Mr. Silas Javernick.”

“Should… should I know who that is,” Penny asked unsurely. “Is he famous? I’m not very good with remembering celeb—.”

“Straighten up, please, Penrose.” Penny straightened. “You do not know him, nor do I expect you to, but he knows of you. He was acquainted with your mother.”

“M-my moth–?”

“Yes. Your mother. I was quite clear.” Mrs. Adams gave her a look over. “I’ll have you sorted once you’re out of this miserable place. Will not take but a few hours.”

The arrival of Mrs. Adams, and her matter-of-fact stating that she would be released to someone that knew her mother was a level of surreal Penny was too tired to wrap her brain around. She sat on her uncomfortable bed, and finished her sandwich.

--------------------

Bowen Crabtree is a name I saw at baby gym and it was just too good not to use for fiction. I have no idea if the real one is a boy or girl. I was going to try to use it in the Beatrix and Wrenna books, but my first thought was of the loup garou, and I wanted something more traditionally Cajun. Crabtree has some Appalacian ties, so it worked better here. Which, Zickefoose is supposed to be a very distinctly Appaliacian surname that I've been avoiding until I got a "good guy". Eek and Bowen both were in chpt 2 raiding Aisling's drawers; Penny's insticts about the woman that was with Eek being Bowen is correct (because I want to use the name, lol).

The idea of Penny being "too pure" was always going to be a rift between her and others in the system. The reality is that people probably sense something kind of off about her so avoid her, particularly foul adults who would quickly gather she wasn't easy to mislead. It wasn't about purity or prettiness, that was just something other girls would grab at with how they'd been treated.

Penny being arrested for assult and sprung by Mrs. Adams was one of the big scenes fom her childhood, like the one with Hodge being upset she had a three second kiss, that was core to her.

Read full Article
October 23, 2026
The Not-Rant Session
that might need an article mode

It'll likely take me a few sessions to get all this down, but mostly because of the two kids balacing and me being unable to do a lotof movement. So, like with The Rant Session I'll put in the dates. This is being started on October 16th around noon. Here we go!

It's funny how different two years and eleven miles (by highway, I looked it up) changes things. And how some things stayed the same; namely that once more it was a girl and a c-section. I hadn't had a visit with my doctor for weeks, and that is one of my two complaints with her (the other being sometimes the bruskness, which I like, is too dismissive). My stress tests were all going well; these were testing to see if Vee was strong enough and healthy enough to endure labor, and if my body could handle it too. Because, unlike with Minn, she was in the correct, best position to go through labor. I had expressed immediately that I wanted to avoid another c-section, so every visit that was never brought up as any kind of option for whatever reason crazy women have when they get them electively.

During one of the visits when my doctor was gone, which she was gone most of the last two months so my exact visit isn't there at the top of my head, the ultrasound tech looked slightly pale and asked if my baby always measured big. I said she did, and it wasn't elaborated. The NP told me in the review of that ultrasound that Vee was estimated to be 7.1 pounds. I just went 'whoa... my older kid was born at 7.7, that's crazy'. They said the doctor will want to talk more about that later, especially after I casually mentioned my scar from Minn hurting almost all the time. That was another medical-person-went-pale and asked me to describe the pain. Mostly dull, some sharp if I stood too fast (or sometime stood period, it wasn't that consistient) or rolled over at night.

I didn't see the doctor until my last pre-scheduled visit on the 7th, exactly a week from due date. She started by asking what my thoughts were when I heard how big Vee was. Same answer as above; my first was born roughly that size. And she goes 'right, so, I need to check you, and I don't want to say it, but this could be a c-section'. She checks, and jut goes 'nope, nothing, you cannot go beyond your due date, she's too big'. Apparently, I was nowhere near ready body wise to have her within the week.

Now, I was not told why the doctor was so insistant because I didn't argue back. With my own research, and the increasingly smaller fragments of biology knowledge I still remember, I already pieced together the big fear was hemmorage. So, while I was not at all thrilled to do a c-section again, it was better than the ever increasing risk of bleeding out before I even got to labor, or bleeding out during labor. ...I still asked for the last possible day to delay it as long as I could, and was scheduled for the 13th.

(October 17th ~8:45AM): I mentioned in the chat that Minn's godmother was coming to help out since my mom was in London. The original plan was to have my sister come with me because she's my emergency contact (our mom is notorious for never answering the phone, checking texts, or even calling back) and that'd give Minn bonding time with her godmother since they don't see each other often. But, with my surgery set for 7:30, I had to arrive at 5--before labor the hospital opened, so we had to go through the ER--it was very complicated figuring out school buses and stuff of that nature. And the topper, my sister ended up with a cold coming on. Minn came to the hospital with us. My sister came by once she set up breakfast for her kids (my BIL had some sort of work thing so couldn't do the kids that morning) and picked her up. Then it was all prep for the 7:30 surgery. ...Which went significantly over.

I put a preview of that in the chat. The bruises! Standard protocol is nothing to drink after midnight, and my mouthful of water at 4AM was not enough to hydrate me to avoid the 'you're so dehydrated, the IV doesn't want to go in'. This place though, instead of seeming confused by my dehydration like the other hospital, just was all 'every c-section, all of them, sorry about the pain'. A little more comforting that they knew the side effects of no water after midnight.

The bigger of the two bruises is on my right arm. That was from labs. They took two or three vials (probably because when they're asking if you have such and such they want to double check you didn't lie and cause some kind of reaction or contanimation). I was pretty hopeful when the needle went in. It hurt, but I was thinking 'yes that single mouthful of water helped'. And apparently, that would have been where the IV would have gone if I was hydrated. The lady kept squeezing blood out, like juicing me, to fill the vials. It got worse and worse pain wise and volumn wise until she just went 'yeah, no IV here, but hopefully that's enough blood for labs'. Thankfully (and I know this from genetic lab a million years ago) you don't need a heck of a lot, so that worked out. On the back of my right hand is a barely noticable greenish bruise from a failed IV attempt. I told her once that one fail to please avoid going into my wrist joint, so she went to get someone else to help. The failed attempts were starting to set us back.

(October 19th ~11:00AM) The second lady found "a juicy vein" in my left arm, which it the second large bruise from the pictures. It blew out almost immediately, and she just kept saying sorry over and over. Not just because it hurt, but because now we were further behind schedule. Luckily, the last attempt on my left hand worked or I would've been looking at a wrist joint. That thing did not go in lightly, and kept trying to pop out. I was supposed to get two IVs of fluids to rehydrate me before surgery, and now that we were well beyond 7:30, those needed pressure sleeves to force the fluid into my hand/body faster. Drinking from your hand is already a weird experience (that I don't really hate, especially being that dehydrated) but gulping is much weirder. And I'm naked at this point, so got cold very quick with the cold fluids going in that fast.

I was dragged off to the OR to get the spinal, and the OR is even colder, so I just started shaking. And me being how I am, I'm just going 'I hope they know this is from being cold'. Which my spinal guy did, because at one point he just went and got a hot blanket from under the heater and put it on my arms. That was enough to stop the shaking. That guy was an odd man that may've been a tad on the spectrum in the way that all the best weirdos are. We probably would've be friends as teens or something.

The spinal this time was not as horrifying as with Minn. It hurt much worse though. Because Vee was so heavy, my spine was very compressed. It was a slower process, with several stops due to the pressure getting to be too much, and a lot of small popping noises of going through my spinal discs. It was just after 8AM at this point. My doctor just goes 'throw her down, they're going to throw you down'. She was already through a few layers before they went to fetch Minn's godmother. She was brought in just in time for Vee to be pulled out at 8:08. And unlike Minn, she made a cry. Not the type in the movies, just the one, and a second when they went to go cut the cord (Minn's godmother got to do it, I think my mom declined with Minn because it freaked her out, lol). They had me see her a second, and then my doctor was like 'okay that's enough, let's stitch her up'. Which I actually appreciated because with Minn there was the awkwardness of my arm starting to numb from the spinal, and they wouldn't take her away until I told them too, but I wasn't sure if I was supposed to tell them too, and the whole time your guts are on tables waiting to go back in. I was shut up in maybe 15 minutes, also much less than the last time.

I forgot to mention that I was given a form before surgery to consent or deny that Hep shot. Easy enough, just sign deny and no one brought it up again or lied about what it was for or tried talking me into it. The form came with a packet on what it was, and the consent to had a big block of text that probably was about side effects. I didn't read it since I was declining. Don't need my newborn vaccinated against a sexual transmitted disease.

I tasked Minn's godmother to follow Vee around, but the ward was really open so there wasn't as much need to hover. Lots of glass walls for the nursery. She went there only for visits with her assigned doctor, for all her glucose tests and other blood lettings, and then for a bath. I went with her for the bath. I never saw how they did them on newborns because I was so done with the other hospital that I wouldn't let them near Minn more than I could help it at that point.

Vee was born with low glucose which was due to her being large. She had a drop after she was detached, so needed 4 or 5 tests to make sure she was stable. She showed improvement on test 2, improved to a stable level on 3, and 4 and 5 were the same as 3. One reason my mom suspects that the doctor didn't do everything in the room like with Minn is because this hospital is Catholic and the other was secular. Minn and Vee both had male doctors assigned to them. Vee's was 1000% better. (Bonus, he was from PA and grew up around a bunch of Poles, so not only knew how to say my last name with a slight accent, but knew both clans that went into making my last name and could pronounce them.) Vee's doctor is the person who finally gave me exactly what I've been asking since Minn was born: a number on how much a newborn could eat.

If you remember, I knew something was wrong with feeding Minn, and I was just constantly shown a button all the nurses wore and told 'her stomach is the size of a grape, just a few drops is fine'. And it turned out to be very not fine. Vee's doctor told me '30ml, maybe 35ml, but if she spits up that's too much'. And he told me what the lactation consultants at this place told me 'boob first, then do formual so you can gage how much you're making, you'll watch the formal start to not be touched much at all one you're producing more'. Formula was never on the table at the other place because I checked exclusively brestfeeding. I checked that this time too, but told them my concerns (last time my concerns were the same too since my sister and mom both had issues), so they kept formal in the mix if I started going 'nope, something isn't right'.

Right now, Vee is mostly formula and nearing 60ml already. I'm not doing boob first like suggested because I just cannot figure out how to get her latched they way the consultants showed me, and we both get frusterated. So, I pump and put it in a bottle mostly. I let her latch on when she wanting just comfort and not so much food. She's much less likely to hurt me being too hungry, and it sort of counts as pumping. The hope is to make enough to get her exclusively on boob via bottle, but I've already made peace with it being okay if it isn't that exclusive. ...20% formula is my limit, lol. (October 23 edit ~11:45) She's hitting 90ml sometimes and about half or more are mixed formula and milk. I have two 60ml in the fridge right now waiting for a 30ml shot of formula. So, yeah, better progress this time around.

But, I'm skipping ahead to some warm and fuzzies. Let's go back and talk about the gore!

(October 20th ~10:30 - we made it a week!) After I was put back together, I asked how long I wouldn't be able to move my legs. They told me 'you'll get feeling back in an hour, by three you should be okay to stand' or something to that effect. Which was shocking because it was 8 hours last time. They did have my legs wrapped in these weird compression things that pulsated. That kept my muscles going for me (and they didn't come in constantly to move my legs around for me like last time).

Having an entirely female staff was a weird highlight. I already did all this being cut open and totally helpless thing, naked for a few days on end, smelling awful from everything going on. And I did it with a handful of men being right there on hand up in my situation. So, it was kind of surprising to me when I realized I saw a total of 3 men the whole time, and none in my room except for the two visits from Vee's doctor (and he announced hmself and paused to make sure it was okay to enter). And those other two were more like one and a quarter. My spinal guy's shift ended right as they were stitching me up, and his relief was also a guy. I think I saw him less than five minutes. So, yeah, there was an extra layer of chill that I think came from the staff being all women that I didn't connect until after I was getting ready to leave. (And I struggle with female friendships so that's saying something.)

My first night was the same with the zero sleep. You're woken up too often by your staff and the baby's staff coming to check things out. That first day and night I was constantly offered oxy, which I denied each time. I was just going 'wow they're really pushing it' because the other place didn't give me any, they just prescribed it for when I left. I was going 'no I'm good with the two extra strength tylonal and one motrin, just like before'. But, by that first night I started to realize this was not like before at all.

(October 21 ~10:30) My legs had full function within the 3 hour window I was given, but I couldn't seem to move. A t this point, I didn't need to stand up except that I was supposed to be since I was still hooked up to everything (no bathroom trips) and Minn's godmother was on top of taking care of Vee. Moreso when part of the reason I couldn't move was conneced to my attempts to feed her.

The pain was excrutiating. Not the boobs, my guts. Biology hat on a sec: when you start brestfeeding your uterus contracts. After birth or a c-section, when everything is still stretched and a little angry, this feels like period cramps. The degree varies. These cramps started out like the worst period I've ever had in my life, and worse than the saline ultrasounds (the first check when you're doing IUI or In Vitro to make sure everything looks good) which had already passed the worst period cramps ever. It was debilitation, nausiatingly painful where I'd be completely tensed up, eyes shut tight and teeth clenched. So... not good for brestfeeding at all, lol.

By that night, everything was removed so I would need to stand and walk to the bathroom. And while I did, it was a shuffle and more, and more pain. And it was worse after I fed her, because then I felt sick from the pain like I needed to go to the bathroom just in case I threw up. Minn's godmother offered to call a nurse for a barf bag at one point so I wasn't trying to scramble, walk, stand, whatever, because there was no way I could.

My night nurse got me to take one step forward and one to the side as a first movement before all this, and I found out that I could side step to the right (or drag my foot half and inch) but could not at all go left. (October 22 ~9AM) At one point, while trying to feed Vee, I just said something about how this was so much worse than with Minn pain wise. Because, with her, it took 8 hours for feeling to come back, but I was left alone at night and was up doing all sorts of stuff. And I was constantly trying to feed her. The pain there was because there was zero milk and almost no colostrum, so she was essentuially drinking my blood. Minn's godmother ended up saying something about the pain difference to the night nurse, and she explained that because they were messing around with scar tissue, and because Vee was large, everything was just going to hurt much worse this time. I was stretched too much on a scar, so it would take harder and heavier contractions to try to put it all back together again. And it suddenly made sense why they kept looking at me like I was nuts for refusing the oxy.

I had at least four different people explain the oxy, all from a different area; lactation, nurse, doctor, the nurse specific for my vitals. I think even the nursery nurse at one point. Did a internet search. Asked Claude AI. Eventually, sometime during the following day, I took one. It was just enough that I could get up and hobble to the bathroom.

The oxy they give you every 4 hours, unless you request it. They only give it to you at request (or at least me because I freaked out so much about it). I think I took 3 or 4 while I was there, and even though everyone talked about 5mg not being enough to pass through to milk, I still had Vee eat formula only for a feed or two after I took it. Following day, the 15th, I was able to get around with none.

I now have two bottles, one from Minn and one from Vee, still in the Walgreens bags tucked up at the top of my cabinet for emergencies. (Like when you smash your finger in a door so the tip is crushed and you almost lose the whole thing... because that happened right after I explained to my dad why I didn't just toss them. He refused to take one, but I have them on hand for things like that.)

(October 23 ~noon) My memory is getting fuzzy with it now being over a week and nothing egregious happening like the last time. The tired is coming for me, lol. There's random things like Minn first meeting Vee I was sure to have my arms free so she could see me and just me, and then got introduced. ...The following day she didn't care to see me at all and went right for her sister. She's doing very well, but is way too overstimulated and gets little break downs wanted to both be the attention and to be affectionate to her sister at the same time. But, all that's normal. I keep telling her we're going to have a lot more fun in a few weeks when I can pick her up, and drive, and just be more normal.

Part of me thinks that's really the harder part, not so much as now she has a sister, but I can't do anything. She's having way too much TV time (my dad's version of hanging out and watching her) and that's making her act up too since it's just more stimulation on top of a stimulating experience. But, she does get to go out with her Memere alone to stores or hang out with her cousins at sushi. She got to go to baby gym Wednesday, and my mom said she'll bring her this coming Wednesday too for her last one. Then, we're on pause until January. Unless the sick is really bad. Then I might extend to Feb.

But, yep, I think that's about it. If I remember more random stuff worth mentioning, I'll just drop it in the chat.

Read full Article
October 12, 2026
DO.Penny.14

Penny avoided Colton the next two weeks, which worked out since his family spent one of those weeks in Dollywood. It was enough of a cleanse–for a lack of a proper term–for Hodge to settle back down.

She stocked up on pictures, and groomed him slowly to soak in the full interaction. He was softer under her touch than before, as if he too had missed their time together.

“Hey, want some good news,” Penny murmured to the colt. “My caseworker said the Sizemores want to foster me. They're getting the last of it worked out, and I should be starting high school right around the corner from you.” She gave his neck a hearty pat. “Couple more weeks at most, and I'll be back to being able to sneak out here almost every evening. I'll just have to dodge Colton….”

Guilt squished around her insides. Colton texted her everyday with pictures of his trip, or just to say he missed her. She recognized it was nice, but it made her want to turn her phone off for weeks. It felt wrong to be cute back, or to simply say she missed hanging out.

She picked burs from Hodge's tail tuff. “Think I’ll walk to the Sizemores. I can set the stop watch on my phone to get a better idea how long it is between there and here. They’re pretty chill, so I don't want to give them any reason to get more strict with me.”

They were bound to have grown more strict having Aaliyah in the house the last two years. If she was going to break curfew, she would need to be precise.

She wiped Hodge down with fly repellent before tucking her grooming supplies away in their hollow. She bounded through the tall, dry grass like a deer, blowing Hodge a kiss as she exited the glade.

The cul de sac development was closer to the glade than Penny remembered. She chalked it up to how much she had grown, both in overall maturity and in speed. She was definitely a faster jogger than a couple of years ago. It was encouraging knowing she would soon be close enough to Hodge that sneaking out was completely doable. It would come down to mostly balancing out Mrs. Sizemore's random night shifts and making sure Colton was preoccupied elsewhere, and that was far less daunting than being moved an hour away.

She noticed both the Sizemores’ cars absent from the driveway. It saved her needing to suck up to them, to put on a show of her gratitude. She was about to turn around, to go to the meeting spot to be picked up by Paige, when Aaliyah burst from the house. Penny only just ducked behind the brick mailbox in time to avoid being seen. She was in too good a mood to let her foster sister ruin it.

Aaliyah rushed to the Lambert house, pounded on the door, and shifted uncomfortably while she waited. Emily opened the door seconds later.

“Can I stay over tonight,” Aaliyah begged.

“Sorry,” Emily said. “I’m going to a friend’s. We’re planning our road trip.”

“Right. Of course. Gotta get ready for college….”

“Mrs. Sizemore is working tonight? Oh… Aaliyah….” Emily hugged her. “You got to say something.”

“I can’t! I got nowhere else,” Aaliyah said. She backed up. “Send pics from your trip.”

“Maybe it’ll be better once Penny…?” Emily looked uneasy and pale even from Penny’s vantage. “I’m still going to help you get out of there. I promise!”

They moved to hug again, just as Penny’s phone rang. She was quick to hit the silence, but the two older girls were now looking around where they stood, half unsure they had really heard anything. Penny stayed still, pressed against the mailbox, until Emily invited Aaliyah in.

Penny ran from the cul de sac, opening her phone and calling Paige back.

‘Where are you? I’m waiting at Garrett’s.’

“Around the corner,” Penny said, her breathing rough. “I went to the Sizmores.”

‘There in a sec.’

She settled on the corner of the street to wait. Her heart was thumping, but it wasn’t so much from the short jog. Aaliyah had been distressed, and whatever was happening was something Emily not only knew about, but also agreed was bad. It was hard to forget that look on Emily’s face when she mentioned her name.

Mr. McBride and Brooke flashed through her mind. She shook it off as Paige pulled up, forced a smile, and climbed in.

“You okay,” Paige asked. “You look kinda freaked.”

“Yeah…,” Penny said. “Yeah, I guess so.”

“You don’t have to go on the camping trip if you’re feeling sick,” Paige said. “Or hell, just think of all the mosquitoes and skip it anyway.”

It completely slipped her mind that the girls’ home was doing their annual camping trip that night. She hadn’t arrived at the home in time for it last year, and with moving to the Sizemores’ soon, this would be her only chance to hang out in the mountains all night. She was looking forward to being away from the random developments and small cities, though she did wish Paige would reconsider and come along. She never grew close with the other girls.

Her mind wandered to Aaliyah during her short packing time. It was an overnight trip and didn’t require much planning. Her excitement for it was all that kept her from turning over every detail of the micro-conversation between Aaliyah and Emily, and attempting to figure out why it caused her such unease.

The old school bus, repainted white with curly, purple and green lettering, carried eleven of them out of their squashed city into the mountains. Penny found herself next to Beth-Ann for the drive. She was a year older, claimed to be descended from Native American royalty—minus Beth-Ann being a twiggy blonde, Penny was almost sure tribes didn’t work that way, but didn’t care enough to look it up or argue—and claimed to know everything about outdoor survival, or just everything in general. Despite all the irritations, she enjoyed Beth-Ann in moderation.

“You finally get to camp,” Beth-Ann said. “Just stick close. I know all the right spots.”

“Isn't it a campsite,” Penny asked.

“You’ve never been camping, right," Beth-Ann asked, ignoring Penny’s question. “No, right? Because you were in the suburbs all your life.”

“Were you not,” Penny asked. “I thought you'd been at the home for half your life?”

“At least you get one camping trip before going to your new placement,” Beth-Ann said, once more ignoring Penny. “This'll be so fun! And,” she lowered her head, looking around as if afraid of being overheard, “it's my last camping trip with everyone too. But, shh, I'm not supposed to know yet.”

“Adoption,” Penny whispered.

“Finally,” Beth-Ann said. “It’s this couple that fostered me a couple of years ago. They had job stuff happen, so I had to come back, but all that’s straight now.” She swelled. “They’ve kept in contact this whole time. Sometimes even went for outings and stuff.” She squeezed Penny’s hand. “It feels incredible to be wanted. You really should open yourself up to it.”

Penny slipped her hand away. “I won’t give up on my family.”

Beth-Ann rolled her eyes, sighed in a condescending, sympathetic way, and turned out to talk to one of the girls across the aisle. That left Penny to stew while staring out the window, watching the trees thicken.

The campsite was a stone’s throw from the park bathrooms. It was spacious with the orangey lamp from the restrooms filtering through the branches and washing out half the clearing. Five, large, well-kept but clearly used tents were pitched, and sleeping arrangements were assigned. Penny found herself assigned to a tent with Beth-Ann, being one of two tents with only two occupants.

“So lucky,” Beth-Ann squealed, throwing down her large, stuffed hiking bag. “I was sure we’d get one of the chaperons.”

Penny set down her backpack on the free sleeping bag. She propped her face on her fist; Beth-Ann rummaging around eagerly in her bag, extracting a headlamp, a vest full of pockets, and other survivalist gear that fell into a more nonsensical lens, especially for a short, contained trip.

“I went ‘squatching last year,” Beth-Ann said. “I was in so much trouble, but just for a minute. Told them I got lost looking for the bathroom.”

“Guess that explains them being right there,” Penny said. She paused searching through her bag, looking up. “Wait… ‘squatching? Like sasquatch? Like… bigfoot?” A smile spread across her face. “You believe in bigfoot?”

Beth-Ann’s hackles rose defensively. She tossed her hair, a sneer on her lips and threw out an air of superiority and nonchalance.

“This is Appalachia, Penny,” she said hauntingly; “there’s things out there that’d make your hair curl.”

“I believe in bigfoot too,” Penny said eagerly, ignoring Beth-Ann’s defensiveness. She laughed as the older girl deflated. “I always have. I was picked on for it when I was little.”

They went back and forth on lore and being teased. Penny probed to figure out how far Beth-Ann’s belief extended; on the fence for unicorns and giants, zero belief for dragons, fully on board for will o’ the wisps (she adamantly called them haunts). She knew nothing—as far as Penny could tell by way of very vague questions—of the Realm, keepers, the Holy Cor, the Order of Ferblanc, nor of the Auctorita, although Penny was also unfamiliar with the last minus the conversation with the mage and the knowledge that they harvested Hodge’s mother.

“This is great,” Beth-Ann exclaimed. “Our last camping trip and we can go ‘squatching together. I don’t have any gear for you, but just stick close and you'll be fine.”

It sounded more fun than ATVing, but Penny was hesitant to encourage it. She had come face-to-face with a bigfoot before, and was more confident in her ability to get away having done it once, but the circumstances had been different. The biggest being it was during the day with her first encounter, and she had been focused on keeping it away from Levi. Running into a bigfoot at night, with someone who over confidently thought they knew all there was about them, was more dangerous. 

She gave her a noncommittal grunt, and hastily left for the dinner bell.

The group of them told stories, attempted camp songs, and ate s'mores well into the night afterwards. They ended the group time by going around and recapping what good happened over the school year, what was disappointing, and their hopes for the coming academic year. Several of the girls cited failed placements as disappointments with the hopes for one soon. Penny stuck to keeping it related to academia and went with constantly changing schools but being glad to be back among friends she had known previously.

Beth-Ann made no mentions of traipsing off into the wood during any of this, whether offhanded or in whispers. Penny was jostled awake shortly after sinking into a restful sleep, her heart jumping in her chest at the red light directly in her eyes.

“Ready,” Beth-Ann whispered eagerly.

Penny forgot her annoyance at being woken, and her trepidation, and quickly threw a zip-up on over her pajamas.

The woods were darker than any Penny had wandered before, but her experience was limited to the forests that surrounded Hodge’s glade. That was not nearly as old, and was sandwiched between developments that had once been farmland.

The excitement waned soon as the damp chilliness of the woods soaked into Penny’s shoes. She didn't want to be the one to suggest heading back to camp; she couldn’t stomach the idea that Beth-Ann would think she was being a wuss—she definitely would boast about it at the home.

“Anything yet,” Penny asked. “Hair? Broken twigs?”

“No,” Beth-Ann sighed, clearly disappointed. “Just a lot of deer tracks. We can do a call further in. That'll do something.”

Penny crossed her arms tight to cut the cold seeping into her clothes. She took Beth-Ann's disappointment and resorting to yelling as a sign it would soon be over. She merely had to distract herself until then, which was easier thought than practiced with only Beth-Ann having a light.

She slowed her pace to create more distance before pulling her phone out of her pajama pocket. She tapped it and turned it screen down, knowing the milky glow would be less distracting than the flashlight, and less likely to draw Beth-Ann’s notice. Penny hated to think they would need to wander even longer in the damp woods over an accusation that her phone scared off a bigfoot.

Beth-Ann understated when she said there were a lot of deer tracks. There was more than just the thin trail with a set or two in a single file. The tracks wove in and out of each other, creating a webbing pattern. There must’ve been five at the least; an entire herd that was prowling.

The gap between she and Beth-Ann widened as she stopped. Her stomach twisted. The hairs on her neck and arm rose.

Deer did not prowl.

Her sweat ran cold when she realized Beth-Ann and her red light were no longer in sight. She switched from her phone screen to the flashlight app, turning slowly on the spot. Every crack, swish, or rustle had her jump from her skin. Her heart was going fast enough to have her breathing ragged.

“B-Beth-Ann,” Penny hissed. She attempted swallowing but her mouth was dry. “Beth-Ann!”

The library books she poured over when she first arrived at the Lamberts’ years ago came back in fragments. She tried sticking to local lore, but after her run in with the bigfoot and alienation from her friends, she lost a lot of motivation. There were dangerous creatures in the mountains, that was certain.

“Beth-Ann,” Penny yelled. “Beth-Ann! Where are you?”

She yelled out louder and louder, breaking branches and kicking over small, dead trees; anything to make as much noise as possible. She raced through what creatures she remembered: bigfoot, will o’ the wisps, not-deer…. She froze and shrieked Beth-Ann’s name as loud as she could, followed by calling out for help.

A branch snapped behind her.

Eyes glowed just beyond her flashlight. Slowly, steadily, a deer stalked into the beam, but there was a profound sense of wrongness about it. The eyes were forward in its skull, like those of a cougar, and its legs bent like a wolf's creeping into ambush position.

It took a moment for her scream to escape her throat; it had to build before exploding out. She ended it with a snarl, waving her arms and phone around. Her blood chilled when the not-deer barely hesitated in its hunt.

A second crack sounded behind her. She whirled around, spotting a second not-deer in the corner of her eye. She bolted between the two; leapt over a log, broke through scratchy branches, caught a glimpse of a red light, and tripped head over heels in her attempt to stop too quickly for her body to properly react.

She eased up, straightened, and swung her phone around towards the red light as she climbed up.

Several pairs of eyes caught the light, low and crouched. Blood was smeared over their snouts. It only barely registered what she saw them crouched over was Beth-Ann and not a random carcass as her phone tumbled from her hands, landing with the light down.

Penny’s knees gave. She could smell the blood in the dark, hear the fabric ripping and the squelch of the not-deer feasting. Beth-Ann’s red flashlight lit enough to catch movement, enough to catch eyes.

She screamed, teeth sinking into her shoulder from behind.

-----------------------------

I wanted so bad to use not-deer with Nellie and could not find a spot for them. They are one of the creepiest cryptids, and that's in part because there are so many cedible stories. The running theory is that either these people are running into rabid deer, mutated deer, or deer suffering some other type of nuerological issue similar to rabies. I'm kind of like 'could be a carnivorous sub-species or something that only look like deer as a type of camoflague'.

I dislike the name Beth-Ann and all variations of it a lot. I don't know why, but I do. So, when I knew Penny would have a friend(ish) person die, I immediately was like 'what name do I hate'. I almost had it be Paige, but it didn't fit what personality I was building for Paige to even want to be in nature.

Read full Article
Available on mobile and TV devices
google store google store app store app store
google store google store app tv store app tv store amazon store amazon store roku store roku store
Powered by Locals